^ He has a Masters degree in applied physics.

His real name is John Hammond, he owns his own park and says yaah hoo everytime his chopper lands.

He dresses like Joker in Halloween, rides a Harley and rides a harley.

^ He publically accused all of the wizards, students, and faculty at Hogwarts of being charlatans.

^ as a kid, he watched that "Don't copy that floppy" videoclip.
Young Hooyah was transfixed. The inspired rhymes, the forceful delivery, the vibrant colours and astonishing effects, the amazing dance moves... it was like a revelation.
Those portentous words were forever etched into his soul.
He hasn't pirated a single game ever since.

^ He's quite an accomplished "white hat" hacker.

He doesn't know what magic and alchemy trully are, what essences they embody and most importantly, the aftereffects of utilizing them "correctly". He considers visiting China and Vietnam, sometime in the near future, maybe...

^Produced the film "Good Morning, Vietnam"

^ famously ran intercontinentally. First, he ran from Alabama to Vietnam. Then, he ran from Vietnam back to USA and ran across many states. He ran because people yelled at him, "Run, Forrest! Run!"

^ He can move so fast that he never sank when he ran across the Pacific Ocean from Los Angeles to Miyazaki Japan.

^Is Jesus in disguise and can actually walk on water(butb only salt water)

I almost read this as if you thought Vietnam was in the US or connected via a land bridge to the US

^ always ran during his intercontinental run. The ocean doesn't stop him. There are icebergs, continents of plastic trash, ships, some flotsam, or any surface to run on. Can't stop when he's determined to run.

^ is a baseless allegation in of itself

^ Is actually a magical pooka who is a trickster and being near people is PM's favorite hobby

^ heartily endorses Sir Mix-a-Lot's worldview