>search dead hookers body

You search the body thoroughly, feeling around for... er - never mind. What I mean to say is that you examine the voluptuous - no! (Come on man, calm down... you said you weren't going to do this again. Remember what the doctor said: once they're dead, you can't treat them like they're alive anymore... Alright, I think I have it under control now.) As I was saying, you put your hand in the hooker's pocket to see what you can find. Your thumb slips over the top of her skirt, which is already hanging low as it is. It slides a bit lower to reveal... DAMN IT! Pull yourself together... You find lipstick and a cell phone! There, was that so hard?

Gudj remarks: "That lady sure is purdy!" Complementing her, of course, causes his dick to grow longer.

>

>Use lipstick on Mr. T

The ghost of Mr. T. Rex puts on lipstick and looks ridiculous.
"Wow! You sure are be-autiful!" comments Gudj.
"Why, thank you," replies Mr. T. Rex, "I think it accentuates my mph-mph-mph... You need to keep your schlong outta my mouf, you little bastard!"

>

>Start car

You put the key in and turn it, and... the car explodes! Just kidding. It sputters a little, but it otherwise operational.

>
(See you tomorrow)

>Drive to cave entrance.

You drive to the entrance of the cave and get out. You try to illuminate it with your lighter, but it's not bright enough. You'll need to make a torch.

>

>collect sticks

>Switch headlights

>collect sticks

You don't find any sticks. However, you cut off Gudj's dick, light it and use it as a torch. "Wow, you sure are resourceful!" responds Gudj, causing him to grow another dick.

>Switch headlights

Headlights won't do any good. The cave is a long, winding tunnel. Besides, now you have a dick-torch.

>

>enter cave

You enter the cave. Coincidentally, a stalagmite that had been hanging there for several thousand years falls at that exact moment, sticks into your head and gives you brain damage. No one notices any difference in your personality. Mr. T. Rex pities you even more, as your foolishness has now increased exponentially. Gudj remarks that you certainly have a strong constitution to be impaled without even flinching. He happens to be standing behind you at the time, so paying you that complement causes him to accidentally sodomize you.

You look around the cave and see a winding tunnel with a small pond ahead. There's an occasional splash. Also you hear the fluttering of what you assume are bat wings.

>

>walk to pond

>shout

(sorry for all the delays - busy)

>walk to pond

You approach the pond, and several bats fly by, attacking your face and shitting all over you. Then several eyeless cave-fish start leaping out and slapping you in the face with their tails. It's a fine welcome. You see a large fish with sharp teeth in the depths of the pond.

>shout

Shout! Shout! Let it all out! These are the things I can do without:

mushrooms on my pizza (or anywhere else)
Christmas tree ornaments with hooks that won't stay in them
yappy little dogs that won't shut up even in the middle of the night
etc.

You shout, and no one hears you... except the bats and fish, which attack you some more.

>
(Gotta go, see you tomorrow)