>talk to frog

You say "Hi, frog. What do you suppose we should do?" The frog licks a fly off of your face, then it leaps out of your hand and starts hopping toward the river. You interpret it as a sign that you should go to the river. You pick up the frog, because you may need it again later.

>Throw tantrum

You start whining and crying, and I kick you in the face and tell you to snap out of it. You thank me for my intervention, and spit out a few teeth.

>Go along river

You travel toward the river, and once reaching it, you walk along the side. You notice that it has an orange hue. "This must be the Orange Soda river!" you exclaim, to which I sarcastically reply, "Gee, thanks, Big Bird."

>Hammer Time

You look around and find a hammer, which you add to your inventory. You search for several minutes until you find a chunk of time, and smash it to pieces with the hammer.

>You can't touch this (frog)

You take your own advice, and avoid touching the frog, as it may cause you to develop warts. Of course you already touched it earlier, so it's probably too late for you, but perhaps the others can be saved...

>

>drink from river

You guzzle orange soda from the river and, wait, no... it's not orange soda, it's an orange slushy! Now you have brain freeze. I didn't drink any, because I was afraid that might happen. But I didn't warn you, because I wanted to test my theory, and also I thought it would be funny. On the bright side, Mr. T. pities you.

Also, as you had your face buried into the river, a stick floated by and hit you in the face. It happened to have a keychain wrapped around it, with a car key on it, which you took.

>

>look around for car

>talk to Bill

>look around for car

You look into the distance and see an elegant, mint-condition Ford Pinto. It would be much easier to drive up the mountain than to climb, you think. However, the car is a long way off, and across the river. Also, there's what looks to be a troll guarding the bridge, which is also fairly far away.

The river is rather wide. Now, where did you put that yacht?

>talk to Bill

Bill exploded in the hole with the aardvark, remember?

(also, since ZFR's reputation is more than 500 now, you all get a bonus point! You now have 8 out of 49537965 points!)

>

>forge river

You build a counterfeit river - wait, that's not right...

You put the river in a forge and melt it, then hit it with the hammer you just got, until it's molded into the shape of a tyrannosaurus rex. (I think I'm correctly interpreting your intentions.) You could use that to scare the troll! Of course he's still some distance away, and now you can't sail along the river using your yacht, because most of the orange slushy was used to make the ridiculously oversized dinosaur. Nor can you get across the river, which is now just a deep chasm. There is a little orange slushy remaining. If only it could be forged into something that could get you the rest of the way to the bridge.

>

>go left

The forest is too dense to the left, and there's a steep incline. The chasm is to the right. You really have no choice but to go forward. I don't blame you for wanting to avoid it though - after all, trolls have notoriously bad breath.

>

We'll have to pick this up on Monday.

>Go to bridge

> You see a Broken Bridge

>play rock paper scissors lizard spock with Bill

>Ask Mr. T for some tea.

>Do the Hockey Pokey