We head out west, slaughtering Native Americans left and right, according to the precepts of manifest destiny. You head toward California, because you heard that "there's gold in them there hills!", and join a mining operation. Of course things don't go so well - trying to get rich and actually being rich are very different things - so you get disgruntled and head back to the forest.

>Look Runes

You can't seem to decipher them.

However, during your time spent mining for gold, your eye traveled far and wide, searching for Mr. T. It finally found him and brought him back to the forest. Staring in disbelief, you can't believe your eye (the other one)! It's actually Mr. T!

You ask him what he's doing there, and he explains that your eye noticed that in the photograph, there is a diploma hanging on the wall, proving that Mr. T has a Ph. D. in ancient languages. The eye then went on a mission to find him and bring him back to the forest!

Mr. T. reads the runes: They say "How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if it cost $270 for a pile of oak 2x4 boards and the train is heading from Delaware to Connecticut at 16 cubic foot-pounds per furlong, jive turkey?" (he may have added that last part).

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>Talk Mr.T 20-gauge shells

Mr. T. says "Mr. T. don't got no 20-gauge shells!" He then pities you for exhibiting excessive foolishness. "I can, however, give you a coupon to somewhere you can buy them." He hands you the coupon, you run the errand and come back.

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(Well, you got your shells, what do you want to do with them?)

>Use shells on shotgun

You load the shotgun. Please don't kill yourself or something stupid like that, or the game will end, or I'll have to find some ridiculous way to avoid that.

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//No I just wanted to have a weapon. However I *do* want to test it.

>Use shotgun on Mr. T.

You blow a hole through Mr. T.'s abdomen, and he collapses. With his dying words, he says "I pity the use of a C++ style comment outside of a programming context." Then his ghost rises out of his body and says "Wow, look at me! I'm flyin', bitches!" He decides to follow you around an annoy you every chance he gets.

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>Check what's left of Mr. T for money or valuables that could be sold for money

You find:

about $8,000,000 in gold jewelry and fillings
a passport to Argentina
his identification (but you could never pass for him)
a Mohawk hairpiece
a pet frog that he kept in his pocket
some intestines and other organs that leaked out

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By the way, your score is 7 out of a possible 49537965, and if ZFR reaches 500 reputation points, I'll give you a bonus point.

>Take as much gold jewelry as possible

You take a $6 earing, cut yourself and contract Tetnus. Due to the extremely low purity of the gold, the earing weighs 50 lbs and is larger than a bowling ball, so you can't carry any more than that. Mr. T. must have been quite strong! Sadly, in his ghost form, he can't carry anything.

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(I always forget to put the prompt!)

>Talk Ghost about where to go

Mr. T. ponders that for a moment, resting his ghost head on his ghost chin, until it falls through because ghost material is insubstantial and can't support anything. "Why don't we head toward them mountains?"

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