^ Is afraid to receive a trojan horse in his nuclear bunker.

^ Knows about my fear of condoms, which is knowing too much.

^ built a Trojan horse using Lego bricks and gifted it to the Trojans. He hid himself inside the horse and then robbed the Trojans inside the city walls while wearing Trojan condom to mask his face.

^ Thinks it's funny to send LegoDnD a bunch of condoms in different colors, sizes and flavors every month just to stress him out psychologically.

^ Likes to eat condoms for some reason.

^ He collects spent prophylactics for some reason.

^ He particularly admires the set of wooden dentures that I own, which were once worn by George Washington.

^ Believes the dentures were made from the cherry tree that he cut down.

^ Has eaten cherries from that tree, even though they'd been rotten for a couple of centuries.

^ Preserved those cherries under the assumption I would do that, but was laughing too hard to notice I spat them out right away.

^ Would rather eat Legos, anyway.

^ He flicks cherry seeds out of his mouth at unsuspecting passersby and pretends to be oblivious.

^ Flings cherry pits with a slingshot.

^ His name is ZubatyZub, he pilots a SubatySub, and it goes "BlubatyBlub" then he gives it a ScrubityScrub, before he visits the PubityPub.

EDIT: (And show ladies some LuvityLuv)