Banned for exhaling chemtrails.

Banned because I'm going to the pacific ocean so I can play this squid game everyone is talking about.

Banned for denying the truth.

Banned for accepting the lies.

^ banned for eating the cake, hence making it a lie

Banned because you can have your ban, and eat it too.

^ banned because on your last birthday you were offered your cake or Edith, but you could only have one... because, you could not have your cake and Edith too... you chose the cake

Banned for 'doing as thou wilt', as if that were the whole of the law.

Banned for speaking in ye olde English.

^ banned for not one-upping him by posting (phonetically) in ancient Mesopotamian

Banned because back in the good ol' days, we didn't need any fancy-falutin' word-sounds, we just pointed and grunted!

bugghhh uggh narghh raaaa errrggh

Banned because basis of your ban was clearly unreasonable.

Banned, because the basis of Elefuntitus' ban for you, comes from dozens of centuries before the writing of The Age of Reason by Thomas Paine.

^ banned for being a Paine in J Lo's gluteus maximus