The day before yesterday, I was diagnosed with Crohn's disease. I've been having an occasional sore stomach and random occurrences of fever (sometimes once every two weeks) since April. Some of you probably know how the disease is diagnosed: yes, by shoving a god-knows-how-long tube up your butt. Well, to be honest the procedure wasn't as bad as it sounds, it mostly made me feel really gassy (no shit, they pump air into the colon constantly while going deeper). But the day before was horrendous...that's when they require you to empty your colon, otherwise the procedure can't be done (you know, because of the shit getting in the way). The instructions said to drink a liter of the most putrid-tasting, awful gunk I've ever drank in the evening, and another liter about four hours before heading to the clinic. The first liter took me three hours to drink (the instructions said to drink it in 1-2 hours), and especially after about halfway through I really had to fight not to vomit the whole solution back. I then decided to abandon any thought of having at least somewhat good night sleep, because I was sure I wouldn't be able to down another liter in time if I woke up at four to drink it, so I decided to take a break for an hour before beginning the second liter. I guess the clock was ~9 pm at this point.
And then the solution began to work its magic. Good god. Our bathroom toilet has probably never been violated as bad as I have, during the ~50 years it has stood there. Okay, so I wash up, catch a breath, then head back to my computer. Only having to run as fast as I can back to the loo mere five minutes later. This went on for hours - naturally the thought of drinking more of that vile solution at the same time didn't appeal to me a whole lot. Finally, around midnight, it started to feel like I had shat most of the solution, and decided to at least try and get some sleep after this ordeal. I did get a good two hour sleep before the alarm going off, reminding me that it was time to start downing the second liter.
It felt a little bit easier this time. Maybe it was because it was a bit cooler, or maybe it had broken my will. I don't know. But in any case, it wasn't long until the water started flowing again.
Like I said, the actual procedure with the tube wasn't as bad or painful as I had thought. They had fed me Diapam before, and I think that played a huge part making the operation more tolerable. It was actually kinda cool watching my own insides via the screen while they went deeper. It looked almost like an alien corridor, especially in my hazy state of mind.
But I guess the shittiest part comes next. I just got back from the pharmacy - the doc had subscribed me medicine I probably have to take for the rest of my life. And what did the medicine cost? Oh, just 75% of the salary I got from my work last month. And apparently I can't get any reimbursements until I've had to take the medicine for at least six months (they gave me 200 pills now: three pills a day). So to recap: not only do I have to take daily medicine probably for the rest of my life, it's gonna take a huge chunk of my monthly earnings, without even actually curing the sickness because currently, there is no cure, just remedies.
On the other hand, the whole situation feels unfair and complete bullshit. But then again, I'm happy that after six months, they finally know what was wrong with me all this time. Especially the constant fevers had at least five doctors puzzled, not to mention myself. But that said, I think without the great support I get from my family and my girlfriend, I bet I'd be really depressed right now and probably ready to throw myself under a bus. But since I'm not alone, the situation just makes me feel...a little empty. Like, whatever. I know there are hundreds of millions out there much worse off than me. I'm definitely not happy, but I guess life goes on relatively normally. Just wanted to share my thoughts because I've noticed that putting my thoughts in text format helps me deal with the thoughts much better. And perhaps there are others here that have been, or will be in the same situation.