Me old bones were aching from all these days raining non stop... So i decided to visit one of those newfound, kinky, amateur massage parlors (from shady ad) and get a fresh, juicy, university student rub me back (and something more)... This was such a shocker, that i still haven't come to, yet... I entered an old, decrepit building, old style; when the door opened, i entered and sat on the sofa in the room abstractly reminding of a living room. When the girl came and sat next to me to negotiate, i almost got myself a heart attack... She was the sister of an old friend of mine (not from the bunch who fucked me up and ruined part of my life, but someone from the bunch that simply left me rot alone and abandoned me to my fate, never showing again any type of interest). I immediately recognized her because of her face, her eyes, her beauty and her slim silhouette. She had been an old and secret crush of mine when she was 14 back then, i never tried confessing, because i always considered her of exceptional beauty, probably the popular type with many boys asking her out and because back then, i had the appearance of a fat and ugly bastard with beard and messy hair. Even she almost remembered me (i used to visit their house regularly to play videogames with her bro, my friend at that time) and asked me "If i went for a massage another time before", while looking as if examining me carefully from tip to toe... I feigned ignorance totally, like completely!
She explained to me that she wouldn't sex me (let me enter her, but do all the rest) and led me to one of the private rooms. Truth be said, with that shocker, i wouldn't be able to have sex with her anyway under those circumstances, let alone that i always considered her too beautiful and fragile to even touch her, i was content by looking and admiring her. My good fucking god, that slim, petite, lolita body was almost intact as if not even 1 day passed over her and she is now 22, looking and feeling like a teen angel! One brought another, i couldn't resist, i also had that guilt and remorse, so i helped myself even without sex and good fucking god, she was so sensitive, as if she was a teen! She even flooded me with her fluids and moaned in pleasure (wasn't faked...) and long story short, she was supposed to offer me some relief and i ended up helping her relax, instead... Honestly, that felt even better than casual sex (she also did rub me and massage me with oil on my body), i even closed a karmic circle of the past (she was special to me and not having felt her back then, left a lingering regret even after all those years). But at the same time i was scared, scarred, freaked out and well spooked.
I haven't talked with her brother. I don't plan to anyway, since i no longer have his contact info anymore, other than old address, which might also have changed after so many years and all. But i don't know what to do. If i am allowed to do something. If i can. If i must. Or if i shouldn't. First time i can't make a decision, or force on myself the ice and indifference, my self-made insensitivity that has preserved my hide and ass countless times before, in this fucking jungle of a hell-hole i reside in. Damn, such a beauty, fragile and delicate, being the paid-for joy-toy to random ugly, old, dirty men for 40-80 euros! I was a real treat for her with my current bodytype and appearance (probably that is why she became so sensitive and made me all wet), but the entire situation pains my brain as if someone hammers a nail through it... Shit this thing is so fucked up, that not even artificial monsters like me can be solid like a rock... I am shaken to the core, god damn it all!
Ever thought about writing sex novels?Oh,and she's a good faker.