^ Thinks mistakes are like vampires or something.

^ He never understood the lyrics, "A mulatto, and albino, a mosquito, my libido."

^ Swears that he doesn't have a gun.

You absolutely DID quote Lynyrd Skynyrd!

Clever, but as an atheist, I'll say whatever I want: Yahweh, Yahweh, Yahweh! May Yahweh strike me dead! Huh? Oh, it looks like I'm still here!

^Won't accept the truth that the quote was not from some white trash south will rise again song but from his own marketing firm's tribute to James Watt and his adaption of the centrifugal governor, which the people in Birmingham, where he worled and lived, so revered and loved the man and his inventions in the field of mechanical engineering that they didn't touch his workshop for over 30 years after his death out of respect.

But if he don't accept the truth, it's of no consequence. Bir-ming-ham don't need him around, anyhow.

^ can't stop yeeing others' haws.

^ cannot resist exposing others' flaws

Gets his kicks by sniffing toothpaste.

^ Hates the smell of toothpaste, poor thing must have rotten teeth.

^ Gets his kicks from a dominatrix.

EDIT: ^ Gets his kicks from interrupting people.

^ Has no way to confirm either.

^ He still hasn't located the hidden camera.

^ Is trapped inside of a huge camera.

He stored his cut off finger nails in the jar with dried roasted onions to conserve them for the gernerations to come until he realized that his plan had a flaw since he was using these onions to cook as well. After that he put them in the jar with fresh oregano, much better.

^ is a lover of all things pirate, and so he's fashioned himself a working blunderbuss from a piece of old pipe.

^ He "leaked" information to the Chinese government that all the young women in North America now go naked during the daytime. This act resulted in the deployment of numerous high-altitude "surveillance balloons" over the continent.