^ He realizes that rampant alcoholism is the greatest joy in life.

^ He knows that before clean, potable running water was readily available, imbibing alcoholic beverages was the only safe choice.

^ Doesn't take into account the number of car crashes before clean, potable running water was readily available.

^ Agrees with me that clean, potable running water is underrated and everybody should shower in alcoholic beverages.

^ Because InSaint has said this, Hooyaah has sworn off delivering or even mentioning citrus of any sort forever in voice, sign language, or the written word.

^ He forgot to wear goggles when he drenched himself in the new 150 proof moonshine shower which I purchased for my best friend, Mono. The ophthalmologist expects his vision to slowly improve over the next few weeks.


EDIT: (The moonshine had not the slightest hint of any sort of fruit or fruity fragrance.)

^ Hooyaah literally thinks the purpose of moonshine is to make the moon shiny.

^ He doesn't know the adage, "If the moon isn't shiny, don't smooch the hooch."

^ Knows those hollows well, as almost every one has a creek that flows, that can be used to make that hooch, that gets us a smooch.

^ was hired as a model for the Marlboro Man.

^ Was hired as a model for the Hoochie Coochie Man

Was hired as the model for the Marlboro moose, because of a huge camel toe.

^ has a camel foot fetish. He would kill to watch the Dalai Lama's foot, because he thinks the Dalai Lama is a Tibetan camel.

^ His favorite Miss Universe contestant ever was Miss Canada.

^ His favorite Miss Universe contestant ever was He-Man, one of the Masters of the Universe... he misunderstands the purpose of the contest.