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Using the technology of tomorrow to bring you the excitement of the yesteryear!

GOG.com proudly presents the next step in DRM-free retro-gaming: [url=http://www.gog.com/retromator4000]Retromator 4000, a universal nostalgifier for PC & Mac. Our software engineers are very close to producing a stable version, and we're very excited to finally be able to tell you about this revolutionary piece of software. Even more so, because very soon we'll be able to invite you to take part in public alpha testing of the app! (That is as soon as we get the 0.97a version up and running.*) We're glad that GOG.com users will be the first to take part in our next revolution. Or rather: re-evolution ;-)

Ok, but what's Retromator 4000, you might ask, and what does it do exactly? Without going into technical specifics of quantum-level digital retro engineering, let's just put it as simply as possible: it takes your modern current-gen games and turns them into retrotastic, beautifully pixelated classics or even text-based adventures from back in the time when graphics were an option, not a must. All because we know what GOG.com customers are all about--nostalgic gaming!

We've prepared a little [url=http://www.gog.com/retromator4000]preview[/url] of our fantastic app working its magic on three modern age classics: The Witcher, Alan Wake, and Dreamfall: The Longest Journey, so you can easily see the effect Retromator 4000 has on current-gen adventures, RPGs, and action games.

As we said, there's a public alpha version of the software coming towards you as soon as it's done, but there's still plenty of room for your suggestions and input. We would love to know how would you retromate your favorite game, so please--feel free to leave a mock-up screenshot or a piece of text-adventure in the comments below. There are 5 free games waiting for the authors of the best entries! One thing though, the Retromator 4000 will only be usable with DRM-free GOG.com games, so please limit your efforts to retromating only those.

Again, we're extremely happy to be able to introduce this new and exciting GOG.com feature. Please take a moment to see the preview, and maybe stay for the contest mentioned above!

*The estimated time of completion of the public alpha version is based heavily on fuzzy logic and quantum mechanics. In other words--we think that it might be done soon, but it just as well might take much, much longer. Also, in n-1 parallel universes, the Retromator 4000 is already available. The contest deadline is much more specific: Thursday, April 4, at 12:00 GMT.
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Myxia: You are floating over the sea upon your magic carpet. An island lies in the distance.

>inventory
You have:
a fetching turban
a stylish vest
a magic carpet


>remove turban
YOU CAN'T!

>look island
In the distance lies a bumpy little island with a small tower perched on top. At the parapet stands an angry-looking humanoid with a bow and arrow.

>shoot man
With what?

>cast spell at man
Which spell?

>cast fireball at man
spell cast:
You see your blast of hellish fire recede into the distance.

...It takes a while to reach its target...

The angry-looking humanoid with a bow and arrow screams as he sees your attack hurtling toward him, but refuses to leave his post.

Your fireball hits! The poor, defenseless angry-looking humanoid briefly regrets his career choice before plummeting to a fiery death on the rocks below. Congratulations, you are a murderer.

>fly to island
Speed and direction?

>fly forward at 2 knots to island
You cruise forward toward the island.

>land on island
You already passed it!

>gsdiofghsdfgsdflgkf
I don't understand, efendi

>unequip magic carpet
You remove the magic carpet from beneath your feet, and plummet into the sea. Your fetching turban acts as a flotation device, floating safely above you on the surface of the water while you sink like a stone to your doom beneath the waves.

Congratulations, you have died. You murderer.
This one's my favourite so far. It should win.
I'd try my hand at a text-based adventure of my own, but it probably couldn't top this. Way to turn a great game into such a miserable sounding experience, haha.
Post edited April 01, 2013 by Orpheusftw
Ey, guys.. Just got to say this when we are talking about retro gaming anyhow.. Have you played the internet hit game Motherload by Xgenstudios? Well, they are making a full fledged pc game about motherload called Super Motherload!!! Just made it a wish in the community wishlist.. Vote on it!!
Haha, a really really good one!
Excellent! I want the text version! :-)
"Add an EMS & XMS memory management minigame. Also has optional IRQ conflicts module and autoexec.bat options."

ROFL....oh my word... violent flood of memories...
Looks like Eidos Montreal has got into the same spirit:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JFuK9NV5JHs
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angeli: The idea is so incredibly brilliant that I would love to see at least 10 of "demo screens" :) :) :)
Not only 3...

And also: there should be a "tape emulator" option. Anybody remembers?
6 kids waiting for a game to load and after 20 minutes of deadly silence,
just few seconds before the end, there goes a cat that happens to touch the table
and - voila - transmission error :)

These were true emotions!
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joshdad: We used to have the tape loader for the C64. We would stick in a game (like the Temple of Apshai) and then go outside and play frisbee for about half an hour while the game loaded. By the time we came in, the game was about done loading.
That when a nice "load error" message wasn't waiting for you.
Ah, those days...
Ok, Ubisoft and Eidos (aka Square Enix) seem to have both gotten their hands on the pre-alpha of Retromator 4000. So I am going to say that Far Cry 3 and Deus Ex: Human Defiance have working GOG copies. Why can't we buy them already???
Nice one, GOG. I came here today just to see what you would be up to -- I knew you'd have something good. Got a nice laugh out of this - especially the text "versions". : )
Serious Sam: the Text Adventure.

> A skeleton appears!
> A skeleton appears!
> A skeleton appears!
> A skeleton appears!
> A skeleton appears!
> A skeleton appears!
> A skeleton appears!
> A skeleton appears!
> A skeleton appears!
> A skeleton appears!
> A skeleton appears!
> A skeleton appears!
> A skeleton appears!
> A skeleton appears!
> A skeleton appears!
> A skeleton appears!
> A skeleton appears!
...
My system must have an error. I put in "Symphony," hoping it would take it to Windows 95 and I could play some of the sweet MIDIs I have lying around, but, um, it went too far back.
Attachments:
Thanks :)

I love the game too, but I imagine it'd be a bit weird to play in text. That's where the starting idea came from :)
If you run the Retromator 4000 on Zork I, do you get a blank screen?
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Robert_V_Frazier: If you run the Retromator 4000 on Zork I, do you get a blank screen?
Maybe you'd get Crysis instead?
GOG, you made my dreams come true! Truly a wonderful thing!

Just tested this with quite a modern game, Skyrim. It required adjusting a few physics theories to make it work on a game that isn't on GOG. After that, it worked beautifully. Though, I believe that if this where a GOG game, the retroing would be even better. Those are the results in screenshot format:

Look at this boring vista, even the chicken is so bored, it even refuses to deliver eggs for all the hard working Skyrim population:
http://www.gog.com/upload/forum/2013/04/ff960dddf296aebcbbc23a40fc1a9ec0e60e1eff.jpg

After looking at this boring image, please take a look how Retromator 4000 enhanced my game! Right after enabling this wonderous thing, It straight up equipped my character with two deadly hammers, spawned numerous opponents to fight with and started playing chip-tune rock music! Soo much more awesome!
http://www.gog.com/upload/forum/2013/04/d5b86837e4f2a60d59fb533fb485922556208632.png

Every gamer that likes old games and it's struggling with those modern enhancements or conveniences, should equip himself with Retromator 4000 straight away and never look back.
And yes, I'm not entering the contest, because it isn't a GOG game (Skyrim was the first thing that came up in my mind anyways, so I'll stick to it). I just wanted to have some fun and make you guys laugh a bit :D
Attachments:
boring.jpg (335 Kb)
amazing.png (391 Kb)
Post edited April 01, 2013 by defosh369