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Using the technology of tomorrow to bring you the excitement of the yesteryear! proudly presents the next step in DRM-free retro-gaming: [url=]Retromator 4000, a universal nostalgifier for PC & Mac. Our software engineers are very close to producing a stable version, and we're very excited to finally be able to tell you about this revolutionary piece of software. Even more so, because very soon we'll be able to invite you to take part in public alpha testing of the app! (That is as soon as we get the 0.97a version up and running.*) We're glad that users will be the first to take part in our next revolution. Or rather: re-evolution ;-)

Ok, but what's Retromator 4000, you might ask, and what does it do exactly? Without going into technical specifics of quantum-level digital retro engineering, let's just put it as simply as possible: it takes your modern current-gen games and turns them into retrotastic, beautifully pixelated classics or even text-based adventures from back in the time when graphics were an option, not a must. All because we know what customers are all about--nostalgic gaming!

We've prepared a little [url=]preview[/url] of our fantastic app working its magic on three modern age classics: The Witcher, Alan Wake, and Dreamfall: The Longest Journey, so you can easily see the effect Retromator 4000 has on current-gen adventures, RPGs, and action games.

As we said, there's a public alpha version of the software coming towards you as soon as it's done, but there's still plenty of room for your suggestions and input. We would love to know how would you retromate your favorite game, so please--feel free to leave a mock-up screenshot or a piece of text-adventure in the comments below. There are 5 free games waiting for the authors of the best entries! One thing though, the Retromator 4000 will only be usable with DRM-free games, so please limit your efforts to retromating only those.

Again, we're extremely happy to be able to introduce this new and exciting feature. Please take a moment to see the preview, and maybe stay for the contest mentioned above!

*The estimated time of completion of the public alpha version is based heavily on fuzzy logic and quantum mechanics. In other words--we think that it might be done soon, but it just as well might take much, much longer. Also, in n-1 parallel universes, the Retromator 4000 is already available. The contest deadline is much more specific: Thursday, April 4, at 12:00 GMT.
While reading the announcement I though..."why would GOG waste resources to work on this?"....
But then I remembered which day it is :D
Pretty funny, but it would have been a bit more convincing had the "Retromated" images been actual pixel art "demakes" of those games instead of simple Photoshop filters.

Take a look at these:

Either way, April's Fool

I especially loved the text adventures. The Alan wake one would actually make a good game. The dream fall spelling error was great!
This is Awesome :D

can't wait anymore~
A very tasty cookie to whoever gets it.

Also, keep working on that thing. You're GOG, it's not like anything is impossible for you guys.
Instabuy when it's released.
Now presenting the next leap forward in PC action gaming: Duke Nukem 1D!

You are standing in a fully textured rectangular room. To your right, a conveyor belt carries fast food and pieces of dead bodies past you at high speeds, while to your left, a strange crack runs along the wall. A walkway runs overhead that you will later be able to access to walk over this room, a fact that demonstrates the incredible power of modern game engines. The room is filled with desks, chairs, and a rather angry-looking Pig Cop carrying a shotgun.

>>Shoot Pig Cop with Ripper Chaingun

With one mighty hundred-round volley, you kill the Pig Cop, destroy the chairs and desks, and blast food items off of the conveyor belt. You now feel more like a man.

>>Shoot crack with RPG

The wall explodes, revealing the entrance to a hidden room.

>>Enter hidden room

You enter a small cave. Posters of half-naked women cover the walls. In the center of the room is a desk on which you see a 4-pixel by 4-pixel magazine cover illustration of a naked woman. A dead half-naked female protagonist from another video game series hangs from the ceiling. A naked woman is about to be consumed by ravenous tentacles in the far corner. Behind her is a ladder.

>>Shoot woman

You are a sick bastard.

>>Climb up ladder.

You find yourself in an enormous circular room covered in high-tech green textures that ooze alien atmosphere. In the center of the room, you see a towering boss monster with a chaingun. It fires a dozen rounds per second, but you are in an open arena and have no cover.

>>Run away

You are dead.
If only we lived in a perfect world where everything is possible...
SETTING: The derelict factory of Rupture Farms.

You approach an eagerly-working slave of the corporate system, obliviously standing over a lever-operated trap door.


Your Mudokon buddy stands up and hesitantly replies: "Hello".

>Pull Lever

“AAAAAAAAaaaaaaaarrrrgh...” You watch as your fellow employee plummets to his death. "Oops", you declare, before continuing on with your life as though it had never happened.


Your ability to suppress all feelings of remorse baffles even me, a terminal emulator with no ability to convey emotions. Please seek medical help as you may in fact be a psychopath.
the_bard: Instabuy when it's released.
umm April Fool lol
Please,release soon,i want play Mass effect saga. :))
TheEnigmaticT: You could always post a text-mated version, you know. No graphical skills (other than taking a screenshot of a text file) required!
I was thinking about that, but i also wanted to be a bit original. ;>

Anyhow, came up with this, hope it meets the requirements of the contest. ;)
fifa_'68.jpg (378 Kb)
Hmm... I just tried retromating Chronicles of Riddick, and it replaced Vin Diesel with Sylvester Stallone. o.0
Post edited April 01, 2013 by Azilut
April fool guys! Funny though. ;)
I almost forgot what day it was; here I am thinking this was real for a quick second.