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Using the technology of tomorrow to bring you the excitement of the yesteryear!

GOG.com proudly presents the next step in DRM-free retro-gaming: [url=http://www.gog.com/retromator4000]Retromator 4000, a universal nostalgifier for PC & Mac. Our software engineers are very close to producing a stable version, and we're very excited to finally be able to tell you about this revolutionary piece of software. Even more so, because very soon we'll be able to invite you to take part in public alpha testing of the app! (That is as soon as we get the 0.97a version up and running.*) We're glad that GOG.com users will be the first to take part in our next revolution. Or rather: re-evolution ;-)

Ok, but what's Retromator 4000, you might ask, and what does it do exactly? Without going into technical specifics of quantum-level digital retro engineering, let's just put it as simply as possible: it takes your modern current-gen games and turns them into retrotastic, beautifully pixelated classics or even text-based adventures from back in the time when graphics were an option, not a must. All because we know what GOG.com customers are all about--nostalgic gaming!

We've prepared a little [url=http://www.gog.com/retromator4000]preview[/url] of our fantastic app working its magic on three modern age classics: The Witcher, Alan Wake, and Dreamfall: The Longest Journey, so you can easily see the effect Retromator 4000 has on current-gen adventures, RPGs, and action games.

As we said, there's a public alpha version of the software coming towards you as soon as it's done, but there's still plenty of room for your suggestions and input. We would love to know how would you retromate your favorite game, so please--feel free to leave a mock-up screenshot or a piece of text-adventure in the comments below. There are 5 free games waiting for the authors of the best entries! One thing though, the Retromator 4000 will only be usable with DRM-free GOG.com games, so please limit your efforts to retromating only those.

Again, we're extremely happy to be able to introduce this new and exciting GOG.com feature. Please take a moment to see the preview, and maybe stay for the contest mentioned above!

*The estimated time of completion of the public alpha version is based heavily on fuzzy logic and quantum mechanics. In other words--we think that it might be done soon, but it just as well might take much, much longer. Also, in n-1 parallel universes, the Retromator 4000 is already available. The contest deadline is much more specific: Thursday, April 4, at 12:00 GMT.
Nice joke, I loved the text version of the games
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Fredd38: Warning: Do NOT use on old games, you might break the internet.
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mr_nabby: Oh, that's too bad. I wanted to see what happened if I used this feature on Zork. :D
Oh if you use an old text adventure it automatically detects it and puts it in the third slot, they tried this back with the '1000' model back when there was no current first slot because the middle one was still bleeding edge and 'Return to Zork' popped out!
They then burnt the 1000 model, sealed the ashes in a 2 inch think lead box, buried it 2 miles down and salted the earth where it lay!
*shudder*
Post edited April 01, 2013 by Fever_Discordia
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GameRager: Does GOG staff send you alerts each time a new article is made?!? 0.o
(Cuz I still don't get how you're always the first to post in[seemingly] every single news thread.)
Yes, they have to ask permission first.
Or, as I said in another thread, it usually coincides with a bit of downtime at work, thus I'm able to post before the rest.
There's an inbuilt retromode for Special Edition of Monkey Island lol
Hi,

Does this mean the games using Retromator 4000 will have lower system requirements? Thanks!
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JMich: Speaking of retrofying, and seeing as Season 3 started yesterday, Game of Thrones 1995 Style.
Man, fantastic find! +1 for the link. =)
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JMich: Speaking of retrofying, and seeing as Season 3 started yesterday, Game of Thrones 1995 Style.
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AndyBuzz: Man, fantastic find! +1 for the link. =)
There are a few more, just search for 1995 style. Not all of them good, not all of them bad, but most are worth seeing.
David Cage: But now you cannot see Geralt's Emotions you cannot express emotions with pixals and text.
lol
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Austrobogulator: Well, to be fair, it could work; in fact, Dead Space 3 had something similar as an unlockable, called 'Retro Mode'. I would link to a video of it, but it doesn't really show well on video, it just looks like crappy compression =|
Sure, as a developer you can include things this in your games with some effort, you can also mod games to look like this but you can't possibly create a tool that just adds retro-modes all by itself, which just translates 3D RPGs into text adventures and stuff.
I tried combining this with my 1st gen Gameboy emulator. Thanks GOG, now my screen is made up of ceramic tiles. The monitor is now totally ruined. Now it's only good as bathroom décor.

TRY INCLUDING SOME FUCKING WARNINGS!!!!!
Why do all the megadope things have to be jokes.
I love April 1st lol
Post edited April 01, 2013 by cj13810
You are floating over the sea upon your magic carpet. An island lies in the distance.

>inventory
You have:
a fetching turban
a stylish vest
a magic carpet


>remove turban
YOU CAN'T!

>look island
In the distance lies a bumpy little island with a small tower perched on top. At the parapet stands an angry-looking humanoid with a bow and arrow.

>shoot man
With what?

>cast spell at man
Which spell?

>cast fireball at man
spell cast:
You see your blast of hellish fire recede into the distance.

...It takes a while to reach its target...

The angry-looking humanoid with a bow and arrow screams as he sees your attack hurtling toward him, but refuses to leave his post.

Your fireball hits! The poor, defenseless angry-looking humanoid briefly regrets his career choice before plummeting to a fiery death on the rocks below. Congratulations, you are a murderer.

>fly to island
Speed and direction?

>fly forward at 2 knots to island
You cruise forward toward the island.

>land on island
You already passed it!

>gsdiofghsdfgsdflgkf
I don't understand, efendi

>unequip magic carpet
You remove the magic carpet from beneath your feet, and plummet into the sea. Your fetching turban acts as a flotation device, floating safely above you on the surface of the water while you sink like a stone to your doom beneath the waves.

Congratulations, you have died. You murderer.
yes, the feature that brought GOG into bankruptcy....