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Using the technology of tomorrow to bring you the excitement of the yesteryear! proudly presents the next step in DRM-free retro-gaming: [url=]Retromator 4000, a universal nostalgifier for PC & Mac. Our software engineers are very close to producing a stable version, and we're very excited to finally be able to tell you about this revolutionary piece of software. Even more so, because very soon we'll be able to invite you to take part in public alpha testing of the app! (That is as soon as we get the 0.97a version up and running.*) We're glad that users will be the first to take part in our next revolution. Or rather: re-evolution ;-)

Ok, but what's Retromator 4000, you might ask, and what does it do exactly? Without going into technical specifics of quantum-level digital retro engineering, let's just put it as simply as possible: it takes your modern current-gen games and turns them into retrotastic, beautifully pixelated classics or even text-based adventures from back in the time when graphics were an option, not a must. All because we know what customers are all about--nostalgic gaming!

We've prepared a little [url=]preview[/url] of our fantastic app working its magic on three modern age classics: The Witcher, Alan Wake, and Dreamfall: The Longest Journey, so you can easily see the effect Retromator 4000 has on current-gen adventures, RPGs, and action games.

As we said, there's a public alpha version of the software coming towards you as soon as it's done, but there's still plenty of room for your suggestions and input. We would love to know how would you retromate your favorite game, so please--feel free to leave a mock-up screenshot or a piece of text-adventure in the comments below. There are 5 free games waiting for the authors of the best entries! One thing though, the Retromator 4000 will only be usable with DRM-free games, so please limit your efforts to retromating only those.

Again, we're extremely happy to be able to introduce this new and exciting feature. Please take a moment to see the preview, and maybe stay for the contest mentioned above!

*The estimated time of completion of the public alpha version is based heavily on fuzzy logic and quantum mechanics. In other words--we think that it might be done soon, but it just as well might take much, much longer. Also, in n-1 parallel universes, the Retromator 4000 is already available. The contest deadline is much more specific: Thursday, April 4, at 12:00 GMT.
Bive that would be so cool. Although a few new games would look the same regardless on the retro done on it heres looking at you cysis :)
I just woke up, looked and wondered for 5 minutes how it works and how those games could possibly support text based input. :')
Post edited April 01, 2013 by ForzaAlessio
ahahah good one :D
I tried it with Modern Warfare 2 and I got Modern Warfare 3 in the end, what the frak...
First I read the text and thought "what a stupid idea which can't possibly work". Then I saw the screens, then I took a look at the calendar. Oh, right...
Damn gog, I cant believe you actually got me.

"Get rid of all QTEs from games, replacing them with traditional boss battles or incomprehensible timed puzzles!

Eliminate the regenerating health/shields and limited weapon inventories from shooters. Add back in the other 8 gun slots that Carmack intended!"

If it was real and these features really worked, it would be quite amazing.
ForzaAlessio: I just woke up, looked and wondered for 5 minutes how it works and how those games could possibly support text based input. :')
Me too.. I spent 5 minutes being very confused by it..

LOL hahaha
Can you make it work on movies/series please?
Post edited April 01, 2013 by PC1512
Heh, spent a few seconds thinking...."huh...this sound pretty stupid, but who knows, it might be cool" before I remembered the date.

The slogan is pure win btw. +1 internet for whoever made it. <3
Hahahaha I fell for it so hard. I was like cool, then thinking wait that doesn't make sense.. reading the comments unconfused me.
This is by far my favorite of the whole package
"Add an EMS & XMS memory management minigame. Also has optional IRQ conflicts module and autoexec.bat options."
Special retrofitting applicaiton just for fans? Me like :)
I volunteer to betatest this.
Very funny. Nice April fool
The shitty thing is that is the only way I could ever get Witcher 2 to run on my PC.
high rated
You click on GOG first thing in the morning like you normally do, and immediately you notice that something seems different today. The normal game discount for a "classic gem" seems to be missing. In it's place you find a notice about a new, exciting way of retrofying new games. You thoroughly study this notice, examining all aspects of this article. After what seems like a whole week's worth of investigation (but really is no more than a few minutes), you come to the conclusion that:

A. - GOG has lost their minds
B. - You've discovered a hidden treasure
C. - You need to lay off of the Mountain Dew and Pizza before going to bed

You decide that you have indeed discovered a hidden treasure, when suddenly out of nowhere you are attacked by the dreaded "April Fools" monster.
You attack the AF, but you're weapons are useless against it. The AF hits you with a spell of gullibiiity, and knocks you for a loop. You get up, and try defending yourself, only to find that you are suffering from severe humiliation.
Your last image before succumbing to this vicious monster is an image of a blue GOG moderator chuckling manically at your ignorance. You fade away mumbling to yourself ....."Why GOG....Why?"......