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General discussionA joke thread(537 posts)(537 posts)
(537 posts)
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This is my favourite topic
Posted June 18, 2022
A vulture boards an airplane carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says: “I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.”
Post edited June 18, 2022 by 01kipper
Posted June 18, 2022
I knew that my new girlfriend and I were a great match. I get excited when I smell food cooking and when I hear the doorbell; she gets excited when she sees someone that she hasn't seen in five hours.
Posted June 27, 2022
What carnival attraction that the British people like the most?

Clowns who spit fire. (The ww2 spitfire aircraft)
Posted December 17, 2022
-- Three!
-- Eh, what do you mean?
-- Three, the sum of all F.E.A.R.s...

---------------------

I wish they would put heating elements into the fridges as it is a good place to store food out of vermins' reach. I thought this might be fun to someone but I am kind of serious as the last days it has been about the same temperature inside and outside the fridge and I was thinking of what would happen if it became even colder.
Post edited December 17, 2022 by Themken
Posted February 10, 2023
The mystery, of why the chicken crossed the road, has finally been solved:

The chicken saw a duck on the other side of the road, the chicken crossed the road and asked the duck "are you duck from the back down?" The duck said "Huh, I thought I was down from the belly up!"
Posted February 11, 2023
"Why the chicken crossed the road, answered by famous people and historical figures part I."


Lt. General George S. Patton, Jr:

"Chicken, Hell! I can cross that road with two brigades of medium tanks by tomorrow at 07:00!"
Posted February 18, 2023
avatar
Hooyaah: "Why the chicken crossed the road, answered by famous people and historical figures part I."

Lt. General George S. Patton, Jr:

"Chicken, Hell! I can cross that road with two brigades of medium tanks by tomorrow at 07:00!"
Oh hell yes. Good one!
Posted February 18, 2023
"Why the chicken crossed the road, answered by famous people and historical figures, and cartoon characters, part I."

Yogi Bear

"I did not know there was chicken in that pic-a-nic basket, Mr. Ranger, sir. I was only trying to return it to its rightful owner. Eh, Boo Boo?
Posted February 18, 2023
My wife is putting glue on my rifle collection. When I confronted her about it, she insists she's not. But I'm sticking to my guns.
Posted February 18, 2023
I had just finished cleaning all of my guns when my wife walked in... yes, she caught me with my dirty magazines.
Posted March 01, 2023
Ok this "dad joke" genuinely made me laugh:

Why don't boxers have sex before a fight?

- Because they don't really like each other that much.
Post edited April 08, 2023 by timppu
Posted March 01, 2023
Hooyaah got married.
Posted March 03, 2023
A guy walks into a thread.

He makes a "baseless allegation" about the user who posted above him.

This is not a joke.
Posted March 03, 2023
Why did the tomato turn red?

Because it saw the salad dressing!
Posted March 04, 2023
Why didn't the baker have any money?

He wasn't making any dough.
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This is my favourite topic
Community
General discussionA joke thread(537 posts)(537 posts)
(537 posts)