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What do you do if you get goosebumps on your dick?

Pull your dick out from the goose.
Post edited July 30, 2020 by DadJoke007
low rated
(The OP post, not the replies)
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Hooyaah: Two cannibals are eating a clown...

One looks at the other and asks, "Does this taste funny to you?"
This reminds me of something I saw recently (in particular, during the current pandemic) on twitter, that was something like this:
"I just went to Disney World, and it was nice having only like half the people there. I didn't have to wait as long to get on rides. But, why is the food tasting so bland? They don't make it like they used to."

(Paraphrased because I don't remember the exact wording.)
What do you say when there is an amazing joke?

Haha! What a pun-tastic joke.

What a fire bender would say when they accidentally found out that they can bend electricity?

Woah, what a shocking turn of event.
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dtgreene: 98% can't solve!

Let r be an integer with r > 1. Prove that there exists prime numbers p and q such that p + q = 2r.
Is this a joke because it is easy?
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dtgreene: 98% can't solve!

Let r be an integer with r > 1. Prove that there exists prime numbers p and q such that p + q = 2r.
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StarChan: Is this a joke because it is easy?
No, it's a joke because it's an unsolved problem; in other words, *nobody* has solved this. It would be more accurate to say 100% can't solve, at least until someone proves the conjecture (or finds a counter-example).

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goldbach%27s_conjecture
i dont know neither 1 joke
Something you probably do not want to hear your doctor tell you:
"First, the good news, you are going to have a new disease named after you."

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Dalkota: i dont know neither 1 joke
^ that's the most amusing thing on this entire page
Joke 1
Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes in, staggers up to them, and points at the guy in the middle, shouting, "Your mom's the best sex in town!" Everyone expects a fight, but the guy ignores him, so the drunk wanders off and bellies up to the bar at the far end. Ten minutes later, the drunk comes back, points at the same guy, and says, "I just did your mom, and it was sw-e-et!" Again the guy refuses to take the bait, and the drunk goes back to the far end of the bar. Ten minutes later, he comes back and announces, "Your mom liked it!" Finally, the guy interrupts. "Go home, Dad, you're drunk!"

Joke 2
Heisenberg, Schrodinger, and Ohm are in a car and they get pulled over. Heisenberg is driving and the cop asks him "Do you know how fast you were going?"

"No, but I know exactly where I am" Heisenberg replies.

The cop says "You were doing 55 in a 35." Heisenberg throws up his hands and shouts "Great! Now I'm lost!"

The cop thinks this is suspicious and orders him to pop open the trunk. He checks it out and says "Do you know you have a dead cat back here?"

"We do now, asshole!" Shouts Schrodinger.

The cop moves to arrest them. Ohm resists.
Post edited July 30, 2020 by DadJoke007
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DadJoke007: Joke 2
Heisenberg, Schrodinger, and Ohm are in a car and they get pulled over. Heisenberg is driving and the cop asks him "Do you know how fast you were going?"

"No, but I know exactly where I am" Heisenberg replies.

The cop says "You were doing 55 in a 35." Heisenberg throws up his hands and shouts "Great! Now I'm lost!"

The cop thinks this is suspicious and orders him to pop open the trunk. He checks it out and says "Do you know you have a dead cat back here?"

"We do now, asshole!" Shouts Schrodinger.

The cop moves to arrest them. Ohm resists.
Oldie but goodie!

And since we're high-browing:
"I'm a vehement solipsist, but I don't understand why no one else is."
A friend of mine had said this without realizing how ironic that was. He only realized when I burst out laughing.
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StarChan: Is this a joke because it is easy?
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dtgreene: No, it's a joke because it's an unsolved problem; in other words, *nobody* has solved this. It would be more accurate to say 100% can't solve, at least until someone proves the conjecture (or finds a counter-example).

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goldbach%27s_conjecture
I admire your sense of humor. It's different.
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StarChan: I admire your sense of humor. It's different.
I admire your sense of humor. It's paranormal.
How to prank an Alaskan polar bear:

1) cut a large hole on the ice
2) place fresh peas around the hole in the ice
3) when the polar bear comes to the hole to take a pea, kick him in the ice-hole
I don't have time to play these forum games!
What an electrician would say when they can't fix something without the power conduit?

I can't-do-it without any power conduit.