What do you call the demon king of bees?

BEE-ZLEBUB

I'd say it's about as funny as much of the stuff you're posting, including what I quoted.

Honestly, I think I'd prefer more 'pun'-ishment than that.

I put up a high-voltage electric fence around my property over the weekend, my neighbor was dead against it.

"I am not young enough to know everything."
-- Oscar Wilde

Somebody stole my Microsoft Office and they're going to pay - you have my Word.

That joke Excelled at making me laugh.

I just wrote a book on reverse psychology. Do not read it!

What did the coffee report to the police? A mugging.

Rest in peace, boiled water. You will be mist.

What goes "ooo"?

A cow with no lips.

Note To GOG Members:

Due to the Corona-19 virus quarantine, I will only be telling inside jokes.

Road sign outside special school "Slow Children".

Who's there?
I haven't knocked yet.
Ah shit.

The landlord says "What'll you have?"

A tachyon goes into a bar.

An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are at a bar and see a beautiful woman across the room. They're all too nervous to talk to her so the physicist devises a plan to work up the necessary courage. Walk half the distance from them to her, then half the remaining distance, and again, and again, and again. The mathematician says it won't work because they will never actually get to her. The engineer says, "Well, it's close enough for practical purposes."