I've finished too many games this month...(or wrote too much about them); there's no room for anymore reviews on my July list. So, here's July list #2. The July list #1 is here
. July 20th: Pirates of Black Cove
. There haven't been many good pirate games for quite a while, at least to my knowledge. I guess the last good one was Sid Meier's Pirates! from 2004. I began playing this game, expecting fierce sea battles and tactical land ops. But, the game was mind numbingly boring and easy! The first ~four hours were the worst, because it took ages to get anywhere on the sea. Sea battles are laughable; it's like being on a merry-go-round, doing 360s with the opponent until either one dies. The ships handle like motorboats, and the Caribbean sea in this game is the calmest ever, because there is absolutely no wind anywhere, ever. Once my ship was upgraded to be a bit better (and most of all, faster!), there was still the problem of land missions, because the overall slowness of everything is especially evident here. The pirates take their sweet time, and sometimes it's not enough to walk to the end of the map and complete a task: you were often forced to watch them slowly waddle back to their ship, even when there's not even enemies left in the way! The AI is terrible: the ships are constantly crashing into each other, and this was especially funny during the last sea battle: You're up against the most feared, professional fleet in the entire Caribbean...and they look like a bunch of drunken jackasses, bumping into each other and firing at their allies all the time. Plus the final mission (like the whole game pretty much) was a complete cakewalk - I didn't lost a single unit in that mission. The game also tries to be funny, but fails miserably: the pirate jokes found on the sea ARRRR really forced and bad. The soundtrack consists of maybe three songs, and they all suck. The voice acting is decent though, except for my character who had a very annoying lisp. Overall: an interesting newcomer on paper, but compared to, for example, Pirates, it fails in every aspect. I'm not gonna say I didn't have ANY fun with this, but it could've been tons better. July 21th: Waking Mars
. Yeaaaaah...I didn't like this game at all. In fact, I hated everything about it. The first warning light flicked on when cutscenes would interrupt the gameplay CONSTANTLY. By constantly I mean ALL THE FUCKING TIME. Like every three or four steps, either ART, the besserwisser AI robot, or Amani, the...black woman, would say "Hello, it's me again, :<" and calculate percentage of alkaline particles hovering in the air or some shit, I don't know and I don't care!! Amani started off as a bit cute with her subtle flirtatious behavior, but DAMN, this girl keeps calling me more often than those overweight, low-esteemed, socially awkward girls you run into in bars! What was cute became very, very annoying, very very fast. Look miss, I don't care about your pseudo-scientific babble, I'm here to explore the caves and plants: so shut the fuck up, would ya? The second warning light went on when the objectives started to become a lot more vague compared to the previous "find an exit" type of objectives. "Find more evidence of sentient life". Okay...how do I do that? Where do I find it? Could you at least point me in the general direction? ...No? Well, fine then. I also didn't particularly fancy the graphics style, especially the animations which always seemed to miss a couple of frames; the sound would sometimes go haywire and start making a weird machine gun sound; and the gameplay was sometimes infuriating because the plants either kept dying or their seeds got stolen. Now, I understand some people like this game, but it just wasn't my cup of tea AT ALL, and therefor it rocketed its way with maximum speed to my current Bottom 3 of Games Finished This Year, being only barely better than Waxworks and Ghost Master. I only collected the minimum amount of Core Power and got only one of the endings out of possible three, I believe, but it will be a cold day in Hell before I ever touch this game again. July 22th: DBTL - Down by the Laituri
. This is a Finnish freeware from 1997, in which your task is to plan the DBTL music festival in Turku, Finland and hopefully make some profit. I remember playing this when I was a kid, so while the game is pretty simple and doesn't hold much replay value, it was still very fun to go down the memory lane, planning which artists to assign to which place since I didn't remember the best strategies beforehand anymore. I also captured video footage and made a Let's Play of the session too. In the end. I made a profit of about 150k Finnish Marks on Hard difficulty, which is roughly 25k in Euros (not taking inflation into account). Don't know if it's particularly that great (probably not), but hey, at least we made a profit instead of debt.
The August list is here