Mom has been home from rehab for 2 days. She fell the first night home. Trying to get up from the couch with out using her walker for support. She is stubborn and thinks she can get up or move around with out her walker. I have taped notes all over! Even to her walker. " Do NOT get up with out me!!" "Do NOT even think about touching the washer" on the laundry room door - I added on the other door "or the dryer!!". I am staying at her house so someone can be with her 24/7 between me and my father. I picked up a baby monitor so I can watch her from another room. I constantly nicely tell her why I am "nagging' and why she needs to listen. She does not want to go back to the hospital or rehab. She thinks she can do things she can not!! I did wash thing morning and put it in the dryer and when it was done I opened the door a bit so the buzzer would not buzz and ran into work for a hour. I come home with dinner and a hour later she goes to bed. I figure ok time to fold the clothes. NOOOO the dryer is empty. She is going to lose her balance trying to do things like this. I am so mad I can not even see straight. I got out the dry erase board and made a do NOT do list.. again and a note as to being sad she will not listen to me. (the least of my issue is having to hunt down my clothes tomorrow...Im guessing they are in my Dads drawers...aka im female and short and look nothing like my dad clothes wise.)
Any suggestions on how to get her to listen, relax and use her walker??!?
I'm sorry to heave about your mother, I went through a smiler thing with my grandmother before she died. Sadly I can not offer much help, at least there was no real fix I found with my grandmother. Like you, I would try to get her to rest, not overexert herself (or do anything that could hurt her) but she never wanted to listen, she just wanted to continue as though nothing was wrong (she had a degenerative nerve condition, which slowly destroyed her nervous system ).
I would try putting notes around the house, I constantly had conversation with her trying to explain why she couldn't keep doing certain things - sometime this would work, but only for a short time before she was back to her old self, trying to do things she no longer could. I do not think she did those things to be mean or spiteful, I think that she was just so desperate to show that she was still independent, that she is still able to do all the things she used to before the condition was diagnosed. I think part of it was that she was scared, and for her, carrying on as though nothing was wrong was maybe her way of coping with that, being her stubborn old self, not allowing anything to stop her and showing that she was still in charge.
I can relate to you getting mad at your mother, I used to get so angry with my grandmother at times. But in my opinion, I think you are doing the right things, what else can you do, hopefully your mother will begin to understand you're only trying to help and I hope she starts to take it more carefully. My grandmother never did unfortunately, not until the later stages when the condition had all but paralysed her, and even then she would try her best to do show that she was still in control. It was worth all the heartache and hassle though, even now as I write this I'm tearing up a little, but I am also smiling. I was so proud of her, that no matter how bad it got she was till so strong and certain that it would not get to her.
I'm sorry for wittering on and that I can offer no real help. My only suggestions would be to talk with her and explain why you want her to rest and relax and to maybe offer her a compromise, such as letting her do something minor in exchange for her using her walker (not knowing either of you I have no idea if this is practical, but it's just one of the things I found worked for me... sometimes). Even though it gets you mad and may feel like you're wasting your time, you seem to be doing all the right things you can do help her, the notes, encouraging her to use her walker. I hope things improve for you, and I hope she realises that you just have her best interest at heart. Again I'm sorry if I have been of no help, your story reminded me a lot of mine so I thought I would write this just in case you found it helpful.