Granted, but they don't take lightly on being discovered and set out on a crusade to get you. In the onslaught earth is destroyed.

I wish for nothing.

You get a black hole that crushes you into nothingness.

I wish to be comfortable.

Granted. You get a nice and comfortable place - at least until you realize it's in a coffin below the earth.

I wish that Germany wins the football world cup final in Rio versus Argentina this Sunday.

Granted, but the Argentina fans near where you live goes on a riot. They loot and then burn down your house.

I wish that wishes wished upon a wishing star would be granted.

Granted: But once a wish is wished that star falls from the sky and plummets to Earth.

I wish the cable company would stop increasing my bill.

Your cable company freezes the price you pay. They then increase how frequently you have to pay that bill. (No seriously, I think that's really happening. Even telecom's are DLC-ing their customers.)

I wish Conan O'Brian would have a show on network television again.

Your wish is granted:But the show is just Triumph the Insult Comic Dog's blooper reels.


I wish that George RR Martin will finish the rest of A Song of Ice and Fire before he dies (yes I know, way too easy to corrupt this one).

You just said he had to finish it. You never said he had to publish it.

I wish I could watch TV or stare at my computer screen for as long as I wanted without ever getting eyestrain.

The bionic eyes that I developed would be perfect for you. Now, just let me remove your eyes and.....

Hmm... I wish I could remember where I put those bionic eyes..

Don't worry. We'll have your eyes fixed as soon as we found those bionic eyes.

I wish the poster above me had made a wish so that I could corrupt it.

Granted, but the bionic eyes are too heavy. He can't lift his head.

I wish the poster below me gets a harem.

First time I've ever heard a clutch of chickens referred to as a harem, but whatever. At least now I've got plenty of eggs to eat.

I wish I had a recipe book to help me prepare all those eggs, so I don't start to get sick of having them every single day.

Granted, but the recipie book is a very bad cook.

I wish for someone to tell me how to conquer the world using an apple, a 3 foot chain, a kitchen light, 2 wooden planks, a go kart and a whole lotta rubber bands.

Granted. Someone does tell you how to conquer the world with an apple, a 3 foot chain, a kitchen light, 2 wooden planks, a go kart and a lot of rubber bands, but you hit your head immediately after being told, go into a coma and wake up 20 years later as a complete amnesiac.

I wish there was a perfect housekeeping robot.