Granted.

It is now Saturday July 9, 802,701 AD and some Mormon Morlocks are at the door and would like to share some good news with you, and quite possibly eat you.

I wish I were happy and I knew it.

Granted, until you realized that you've just married a golddigger.

I wish my smartphone were equipped with nuclear powered battery.

You should probably have considered lead shielding as well. Now your phone, and your corpse, are entombed in a hidden underground bunker for at least the next ten thousand years.

I wish I understood why everyone else seems to enjoy bacon so much.

Granted - You have been turned into a dog - but you finally get it

I wish GOG would Get Dragon Age Origins Ultimate

Granted, GoG now sells Dragon Age Origins Ultimate, since GoG doesn't like DRM people from EA and BioWare will live in your house and every time you play the game they will monitore your network, friends, pc usage, etc, etc to make sure you don't pirate it.

I wish I could have for breakefast the best hotcakes with bacon.

Granted! Starting tomorrow, your hotcake breakfast will be delivered to you in bed. By a naked Kevin Bacon.


I wish I had the time to watch all the shows languishing on my DVR.

It's funny that you should mention this on the six-month anniversary of Hurricane Sandy. Because that's exactly what I went through. For eight effing days.


Done! It's just too bad that you can't get DosBox to work on your system, no matter what you try.


I wish that New York City never gets hit by a massive hurricane, tornado or blizzard ever again.

Granted. The climate change did it. But every year the water line rises and at some point NYC would sink and disappeared from map before tornadoes strike back.

I wish I were a cunning linguist.

Granted: you know speak fluently several languages, to bad that you are stranded in a desert island for the rest of your life.

I wish I could be as Suave as Steve McQueen.

And you and your husband, Neil Patrick Harris, live happily ever after.


I wish Square Enix would include a Kim Possible level in their next Kingdom Hearts release.

Granted, but it was later changed to Kim Dotcom for some reasons related to the FBI.

I wish poachers would consider their own body or body parts as exotic, most highly sought after, and look good to be hanged on the wall.

Your wish is granted; poachers now leave exotic animals alone, and hunt children.

I wish I could speed-read books.

Granted, but you forget their content as soon as you close them...

I wish I had delicious and healthy cookies to eat.

Granted, but they are so delicious, you can't stop eating them and grow fat anyway.

I wish to sleep well at night.