Congratulations!
Wish granted, you now have a copy of Baldurs Gate 2: Throne of Bhaal.

I wish that Firaxis games didn't always need a expansion pack to be playable.

Granted, but Firaxis has pulled the base game for sale, so you can only buy the expansion. (Note that you still need the base game to actually play the expansion, so the expansion alone is still useless.)

I wish for a remake of the original Baldur's Gate that is turn-based (instead of real-time with pause).

Granted. However you must press the end turn button 100 times before you can gather your party and venture forth.

I wish achievements were something I could list on my CV.

Granted, but whenever you put them on your CV, you don't get any responses to your job applications. As soon as you take them off, you get called to an interview.

I wish that SMB would get released here.

Okay, but you can only play as Luigi.

I wish the US would finally switch to metric.

The US converts to metric, the rest of the world converts to the bogus system that's in use by the US today and it becomes the golden standard which everything else adjusts after.

I wish all cats disappeared from the face of the earth.

Granted, but they would now appear only in your dreams always.

I wish SEGA would finally agree to a DRM-Free contract with GOG and release their games here, the Total War series in particular.

Wish granted. But you need to have the GOG Galaxy 2.0 client and also own the games on Valve's Steam platform. Other than those minor issues, no problems.

I wish that parachute pants replaced yoga pants instantaneously world-wide because it would be very funny.

Not even as Meat Boy or Monkey Ball?

Granted, except that only a small number of them are actually replaced. However, since the ones that are replaced are in different parts of the world, said change can be said to have happened world-wide.

I wish for the P=NP problem (in computer science) to be solved, for the solution to be posted publicly on a site like ArXiv, and for said paper to pass intensive peer review.

Granted. Hackers can use said solution to crack most cryptography. Encryption, passwords and online security are worthless

Your bank accounts are drained.
Your online accounts are hacked and closed.
All confidential medical information gets leaked.

The fun is endless.


I wish I was a real person.

Wish granted; I am a real person.

I wish those who took away something from me, to be met with calamity and disaster.

Their houses fall down and they get struck by lighting. Over several years they recover slowly but it's a very painful process. Then they discover that you caused their disaster, and they feel justified in wishing worse calamity on you. Their wish does for you pretty bad and unfortunately there are more innocent casualties. You survive it and make an even worse wish back on them. Suffering and pain is magnified ten-thousandfold. No-one is spared.


I wish the deli that used to sell fishballs that closed down when I was a kid was open again just like I remember it.

Granted: You are now a kid and the deli that sells fishballs is now open again.

Of course, it seems that your wish actually caused time to go backwards, and as time passes, the deli closes down at the same time it "did" the first time you grew up. ("did" is in quotation marks because English (and other human languages) does not account for time travel in its verb conjugations; I believe there's a part in the Hitchhiker's Guide trilogy about this issue.)

I wish that I could control time at will, stopping and even reversing it whenever I please.

Granted, but you're always indecisive.

I wish I'd stop with the fits and starts, and just be in a constant stream of progress.

Granted. You now are constantly making progress, but at an agonizingly slow rate, much slower than your average progress before.

I wish that the concept of a deity had never arisen at any point in history; hence there would be no believers in any deities, at all.