Posted August 03, 2015
There is a tale to tell, and it is my duty to tell it. A tale of heroism and villainy; of great warriors and evil schemers. It begins as so many of these tales, with a “cease-and-desist” letter from the Tolkien estate, followed a few hasty re-writes.
Thus:
At long last, it had been found. The mysterious Ring of Power – that most ancient and powerful of evil artifacts, forged at the dawn of the world by the immortal neo-demon Zarthax the Terrible, wielded by his most vicious henchmen over the aeons in the war against Order. The Ring had been lost many generations ago when it was cut from the hand of Garrgrag the One-Elbowed after the Fourth Battle of Sil’And’ra’Leath in the 8th Age of the World. Or something. You get the gist.
Anyway, at long last, it had been found. Many valiant heroes gave their lives in its pursuit, but at last, the Ring came to rest with a lone hobbit, which is totally not a copyrighted creature name because we checked. This hobbit, cristigale by name, was kind and gentle and loved only to grow things and celebrate birthdays, but because The Ring had chosen her as its vessel, she became the one tasked with its destruction.
After many days and months of basically uninteresting character development and minor plot points, at last a party of adventurers was assembled. The Grand Wizard yogsloth gathered together a party of misfits, heroes, and ne’er-do-wells to shepherd cristigale into the deep underground chasm from which the Ring was originally forged, that it might be cast back into the flames, and its bitter evil erased from the world forever. The Wizard and a group of fourteen adventurers drawn from all walks of life with one common goal – the elimination of The Ring.
After a journey of many more days and obligatory helicopter scenery shots, at long last, the party arrived at its destination.
“Before you stands the ancient fortress of Bara-dingdong,” intoned the Grand Wizard. “It has been sealed for many generations, but now we must enter. I warn you, the rest of the journey will not be easy. These caverns are flooded with goblins, and we must penetrate deep into the earth to find the chasm.”
“Doesn’t sound too ‘ard!” shouted bler.
“Well, there’s one other challenge…” The Grand Wizard trailed off into embarrassed silence. “You see, this dungeon smells… well, really really bad. Our ancestors referred to this place as…”
THE DEEP SMELLY DUNGEON
And so the party entered.
Moments later, HijacK shouted “Good freaking god, you weren’t kidding! It smells like French-fried dog asshole in here!”
trentonlf came up to him and clapped poor HijacK in the back. “You and I are new friends. I will celebrate that new friendship by not asking how you came to be acquainted with such a smell. For now, let us not worry about such things… there are goblins about!” JMich gave a healthy chuckle.
And sure as **** they didn’t get two hundred yards in before the goblins attacked. It was chaos! Pandemonium! Swords and axes and spells and elves surfing on shields!
When the assault had been repelled, the group gathered together.
“How many did you bag?” whispered Sage103082 to Leonard03. “Oh, er, just loads and loads,” he whispered back. There was no whispering for adaliabooks and CSPVG as they loudly compared kill counts.
“Wait, how many people were in our party? Fifteen, right?” asked Lifthrasil, bouncing his finger about as he counted heads.
The group busied itself with a quick head count… which took several tries, as QuadrAlien kept skipping 11… and it turned up one missing… It was the hobbit. cristigale was found slumped in the corner, hacked and blown nearly to pieces, the Ring still inseparably crazy-glued to her finger.
“Shit, did we seriously lose the hobbit in the first damn post?” cried dedoporno. “Isn’t that the whole movie? What are we going to do now?”
“These wounds are not made by goblin blade. Poor cristigale was murdered by one of you – or more than one of you. How could you? Who would commit such an act?” The Grand Wizard glared menacingly at the heroes. “You are going to solve this amongst yourselves. One or more of you is responsible for this treachery. You must find who it is. Select one amongst you and bring him or her to me, and I will execute judgment,” he intoned solemnly.
“But yogsloth, won’t you be here to help?” asked flubbucket.
“Oh, no no no. Of course not. I have some deep and mysterious Wizard shit to take care of. I’ll pop back in randomly to haul your incompetent asses out of the fire periodically. But no, most of the time, I’m just going to zip off to who-knows-where and leave you alone. In fact, I’m going to do that right now. Toodles!”
And, with a swish of his cape and a turn of his heel, he was gone… and the task began…
Well, shortly after an embarrassed silence following Bookwyrm627’s noisy vomiting due to the stench.
cristigale is dead. She was Bobo Goodgrow, Hobbit Gardener (TOWN PLOT DEVICE), STR 2 / AGI 5 / CHR 8 / INT 6
Rules:
1. Have fun!
2. The moderator of this game is me, yogsloth. Should you need to contact me, you can reach me through the chat system of this forum.
3. All players have a vote, which they may place upon any player. A vote may be withdrawn by unvoting. Once a player has more than 50% of the votes, that player will be lynched and the game will go to night. No amount of unvoting can prevent this. You DO need to unvote if you want to place new vote.
4. A player may also vote nolynch. A majority of nolynch votes will end the day without a lynch.
5. Please remember to bold your votes and unvotes like this: Unvote Vítek, Vote Krypsyn
6. When you are dead, you are dead - stop posting. A single "bah"-post is permissible and encouraged.
7. Don't edit your posts! This is very important! Editing a post is grounds for being modkilled. Due to the forum software I must also ask you not to double post. Two consecutive posts of the same user in a ten minutes or less will merge, creating the appearance of an edited post.
8. Please bold any requests for votecounts or questions to the moderator.
9. Do not discuss the game with anyone outside the thread, except for people specified in your role PM, and then only at such times as the PM specifies.
10. Do not quote or paraphrase too closely any PMs you receive from the mod. If you are afraid that your paraphrasing is too close, contact me and I'll take a look at it.
11. All players should post at least once every 36 hours. If you expect to be away for more than 48 hours, please let me know either through PM or in the game thread. Failure to do this will result in me sending you a prod via PM and in thread to which you will have 24 hours to respond. Then I start capriciously modkilling like a tweaking long-haul trucker running over small woodland creatures in the road.
12. If you can no longer participate in the game, let me know and I will try to find a replacement. We have three wonderful players waiting for the opportunity.
13. Roles have been randomly assigned. Poor you guys.
14. You may not post in the game thread during night phases.
15. All players on the winning team win, even the dead ones, assuming any other win conditions have also been satisfied. Anyone who is modkilled loses, no matter what team he was on.
16. Remember it’s just a game. Be polite and remain calm. Anyone not being polite is just trying to get YOU to make a mistake so they can lynch you. Don’t fall into the trap. Politely lynch them or night kill them for their rudeness.
Role PM structure:
Flavor
You are: Name, Race / Class (ROLE) Stats
Abilities
Win conditions:
Mafia win condition: You win when your team overpowers other factions in numbers or votes.
Town win condition: You win when all threats to town are destroyed.
Thus:
At long last, it had been found. The mysterious Ring of Power – that most ancient and powerful of evil artifacts, forged at the dawn of the world by the immortal neo-demon Zarthax the Terrible, wielded by his most vicious henchmen over the aeons in the war against Order. The Ring had been lost many generations ago when it was cut from the hand of Garrgrag the One-Elbowed after the Fourth Battle of Sil’And’ra’Leath in the 8th Age of the World. Or something. You get the gist.
Anyway, at long last, it had been found. Many valiant heroes gave their lives in its pursuit, but at last, the Ring came to rest with a lone hobbit, which is totally not a copyrighted creature name because we checked. This hobbit, cristigale by name, was kind and gentle and loved only to grow things and celebrate birthdays, but because The Ring had chosen her as its vessel, she became the one tasked with its destruction.
After many days and months of basically uninteresting character development and minor plot points, at last a party of adventurers was assembled. The Grand Wizard yogsloth gathered together a party of misfits, heroes, and ne’er-do-wells to shepherd cristigale into the deep underground chasm from which the Ring was originally forged, that it might be cast back into the flames, and its bitter evil erased from the world forever. The Wizard and a group of fourteen adventurers drawn from all walks of life with one common goal – the elimination of The Ring.
After a journey of many more days and obligatory helicopter scenery shots, at long last, the party arrived at its destination.
“Before you stands the ancient fortress of Bara-dingdong,” intoned the Grand Wizard. “It has been sealed for many generations, but now we must enter. I warn you, the rest of the journey will not be easy. These caverns are flooded with goblins, and we must penetrate deep into the earth to find the chasm.”
“Doesn’t sound too ‘ard!” shouted bler.
“Well, there’s one other challenge…” The Grand Wizard trailed off into embarrassed silence. “You see, this dungeon smells… well, really really bad. Our ancestors referred to this place as…”
THE DEEP SMELLY DUNGEON
And so the party entered.
Moments later, HijacK shouted “Good freaking god, you weren’t kidding! It smells like French-fried dog asshole in here!”
trentonlf came up to him and clapped poor HijacK in the back. “You and I are new friends. I will celebrate that new friendship by not asking how you came to be acquainted with such a smell. For now, let us not worry about such things… there are goblins about!” JMich gave a healthy chuckle.
And sure as **** they didn’t get two hundred yards in before the goblins attacked. It was chaos! Pandemonium! Swords and axes and spells and elves surfing on shields!
When the assault had been repelled, the group gathered together.
“How many did you bag?” whispered Sage103082 to Leonard03. “Oh, er, just loads and loads,” he whispered back. There was no whispering for adaliabooks and CSPVG as they loudly compared kill counts.
“Wait, how many people were in our party? Fifteen, right?” asked Lifthrasil, bouncing his finger about as he counted heads.
The group busied itself with a quick head count… which took several tries, as QuadrAlien kept skipping 11… and it turned up one missing… It was the hobbit. cristigale was found slumped in the corner, hacked and blown nearly to pieces, the Ring still inseparably crazy-glued to her finger.
“Shit, did we seriously lose the hobbit in the first damn post?” cried dedoporno. “Isn’t that the whole movie? What are we going to do now?”
“These wounds are not made by goblin blade. Poor cristigale was murdered by one of you – or more than one of you. How could you? Who would commit such an act?” The Grand Wizard glared menacingly at the heroes. “You are going to solve this amongst yourselves. One or more of you is responsible for this treachery. You must find who it is. Select one amongst you and bring him or her to me, and I will execute judgment,” he intoned solemnly.
“But yogsloth, won’t you be here to help?” asked flubbucket.
“Oh, no no no. Of course not. I have some deep and mysterious Wizard shit to take care of. I’ll pop back in randomly to haul your incompetent asses out of the fire periodically. But no, most of the time, I’m just going to zip off to who-knows-where and leave you alone. In fact, I’m going to do that right now. Toodles!”
And, with a swish of his cape and a turn of his heel, he was gone… and the task began…
Well, shortly after an embarrassed silence following Bookwyrm627’s noisy vomiting due to the stench.
cristigale is dead. She was Bobo Goodgrow, Hobbit Gardener (TOWN PLOT DEVICE), STR 2 / AGI 5 / CHR 8 / INT 6
Rules:
1. Have fun!
2. The moderator of this game is me, yogsloth. Should you need to contact me, you can reach me through the chat system of this forum.
3. All players have a vote, which they may place upon any player. A vote may be withdrawn by unvoting. Once a player has more than 50% of the votes, that player will be lynched and the game will go to night. No amount of unvoting can prevent this. You DO need to unvote if you want to place new vote.
4. A player may also vote nolynch. A majority of nolynch votes will end the day without a lynch.
5. Please remember to bold your votes and unvotes like this: Unvote Vítek, Vote Krypsyn
6. When you are dead, you are dead - stop posting. A single "bah"-post is permissible and encouraged.
7. Don't edit your posts! This is very important! Editing a post is grounds for being modkilled. Due to the forum software I must also ask you not to double post. Two consecutive posts of the same user in a ten minutes or less will merge, creating the appearance of an edited post.
8. Please bold any requests for votecounts or questions to the moderator.
9. Do not discuss the game with anyone outside the thread, except for people specified in your role PM, and then only at such times as the PM specifies.
10. Do not quote or paraphrase too closely any PMs you receive from the mod. If you are afraid that your paraphrasing is too close, contact me and I'll take a look at it.
11. All players should post at least once every 36 hours. If you expect to be away for more than 48 hours, please let me know either through PM or in the game thread. Failure to do this will result in me sending you a prod via PM and in thread to which you will have 24 hours to respond. Then I start capriciously modkilling like a tweaking long-haul trucker running over small woodland creatures in the road.
12. If you can no longer participate in the game, let me know and I will try to find a replacement. We have three wonderful players waiting for the opportunity.
13. Roles have been randomly assigned. Poor you guys.
14. You may not post in the game thread during night phases.
15. All players on the winning team win, even the dead ones, assuming any other win conditions have also been satisfied. Anyone who is modkilled loses, no matter what team he was on.
16. Remember it’s just a game. Be polite and remain calm. Anyone not being polite is just trying to get YOU to make a mistake so they can lynch you. Don’t fall into the trap. Politely lynch them or night kill them for their rudeness.
Role PM structure:
Flavor
You are: Name, Race / Class (ROLE) Stats
Abilities
Win conditions:
Mafia win condition: You win when your team overpowers other factions in numbers or votes.
Town win condition: You win when all threats to town are destroyed.
Post edited August 04, 2015 by yogsloth
