For anyone wanting the TLDR on my life's story, it's basically:
Married 8 years, together for 10+. Started drifting apart a while ago emotionally, even before we had a child together, but in many ways work well together. Probably a mistake to have our daughter rather than just separate 3-4 years ago, but she's a wonderful kid, and decided fairly late I really wanted a child and didn't want to start over trying for a kid in a new relationship at 38 (spouse is a few years older).
Spouse has always had some health issues, but really exacerbated post-partum. HBP, thyroid, you name it. Self-medicates a bit too much plus a handful of scrips. We live in a city in her home state, but a place where family and friends are for the most part both several hours away. Long way away (4+ hours by plane) from my own family and friends. Moved around too much within the city (mostly because it's freaking expensive and rising fast) the 4-5 years we've been here to really establish a neighborhood/community.
She can't work consistently because of health, but not working and the local COL mean we don't have much if any spare money for childcare. So she basically hit a point of physical and mental exhaustion from being isolated and some of her own decision making/reinforcing anxiety and decided to move back home.
Unfortunately that didn't really solve the core problems, and her physical and mental health both continued to spiral. Probably worse and faster when it seemed we were moving towards divorce which is around when the 'voices' started - first ghosts, then angels, then who knows. Her family has a history of sexual abuse in prior generations, likely in that very house, so if there is a such thing as spirits it's not beyond the pale that they would be in that house.
Probably needed to sell the farm sooner (not a literal farm) in terms of spending whatever it would take to get her support and health built up before things broke, but that would have caused other problems.
At this point she probably needs some mental health intervention, and it's critically important I take my best shot at getting the job I'm interviewing for tomorrow - she needs to be back home for the support, and it's one of the few jobs in her town that has enough pay/benefits to carry us if she's going to be unable to work + need childcare support (and getting her own treatment) for an extended period of time.
Anyway, yes, my life is a bit crazy right now. On the bright side, having to talk through what she's struggling with has helped us reconnect in some ways. Whether it's sustainable (or healthy for either of us) only time will tell. But she definitely did worse when we were completely moving apart.