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This user has reviewed 206 games. Awesome! You can edit your reviews directly on game pages.
Star Wars™: Rebel Assault 1 + 2

FAECES!

W.T.F? Rebel Assault 1 is, just...... EXCREMENT. DIAHORREA! You can't even survive for more than 15 seconds on the first training run through Beggars Canyon. I thought the controls were bad on Rogue Squadron. On this stinking turn there aren't even any!!!!!!! Rebel Assault 2 DOES NOT EVEN WORK AT ALL! This is MINUS A THOUSAND STARS nvm 1 star!

1 gamers found this review helpful
STAR WARS™: Rogue Squadron 3D

FAECES!

All these negative reviews! THEY ARE RIGHT! This STINKS! SIMPLE AS! Poor GFX, frustrating difficulty coupled with a linear try it again and again and again until you either finally win or SCREAM approach. Some of the worst controls in gaming history. Like I said. This STINKS!

1 gamers found this review helpful
STAR WARS™: X-Wing Special Edition

Not matched my college years nostalgia

I had the original '93 release when at uni. Spent many a long hour into the night, and 'twas the reason for many missed lectures and tutorials (though they sucked and I rarely attended them anyway). The 1998 version commits an unforgivable sin. FORCES you have a joystick. Surely, SURELY, it could have been configured to use keys and mouse? The 1993 version happily does so if you really ramp up mouse sensitivity to the extreme. I have never seen a game not even run due to "no joystick" before. Shame, as the 98 version looks so much better. The 93 version is just too lowres. You can't even see small craft until they are within 0.5km - and everything is just a jaggy blur. It gave me a migraine. It is also much harder than I recall. Tour 1 mission 3 and I'm stuck, I'm wiping out ALL TIE fighters and bombers and all the shuttles I am meant to protect still get wiped out. Even with the inbuilt cheats, I cannot do it, because those cheats don't cover NPC ships. So can't play the 98 version - but is a good excuse to get a joystick. The 93 version did not live up to it's own memories.

5 gamers found this review helpful
Sacred Gold

FAECES!

What do you believe the point to games such as Sacred Gold is? Enjoyment? Sense of satisfaction/achievement? Well, LOOK ELSEWHERE. THERE IS NOTHING, NOTHING FOR YOU HERE. There is but ONE thing you do in this game, and that is die. This piece of shit is IMPOSSIBLE! What is it with this "impossible hurrrrrdurrrr difficulty" philosophy? I note I have "Sacred Gold 2" in my library also, I suppose that's another few quid I've wasted then. Add to it's sluggishness, obtuse UI, weird object descriptions and general overall obfuscativeness. A RESOUNDING NO! DO NOT BUY! Definately don't buy TWICE like I did (I bought it a second time on Steam by mistake).

4 gamers found this review helpful
Doomdark's Revenge

Better that Midnight

At least you are not outnumbered 100 to 1 like in Lords of Midnight! But I still felt "lost" in this game, despite it's simplicity. Struggling to get to grips with it, and it's not really "hooking me in". It's really a mobile phone game on the PC.

2 gamers found this review helpful
Gothic

FAECES! EXCREMENT!

DOES NOT WORK! Ignore the tsumani of diahorrea, the hundreds of ludicrous 5-stars reviews, and advice on how to get this turd running. IT DOES NOT WORK! IT DOES NOT WORK! IT DOES NOT WORK! IT DOES NOT WORK! IT DOES NOT WORK! IT DOES NOT WORK! Do. You. Understand? Hello Falran! Even if it did work, the game is excrement anyway.

6 gamers found this review helpful
Outcast 1.1

FAECES!

Let's see. Dozens, hundreds even of raving rabid 5-star reviews. "Best gam eva!", "Gweatest of all time!", "woweeeewoweeeewoweeeeeeee", "amaaaaaaayzballz" etc etc etc. All posrepped to buggery. So typical of "5-star mania", "rose tinted spectacle wearing" GOG reviewers. LIES! This is SHIT! It's difficult to even startup, looks awful, controls are awful and cannot be remapped, I got stuck underwater in a tiny (but deep) stream within 30 seconds of starting and drowned. Quit. Unistalled. Good job I got this on a free offer.

8 gamers found this review helpful
Crime Cities

Seemed ok at first.....

but barely half an hour later. Bored. It's just so repetitive. Ok, I know all games suffer that particular curse to some degree or another, but this is just a yawnfest. Add to it some very shit non-remappable controls, poor scenery, poor GFX even by year 2000 standards, not much content (you will soon have bought all weapons/equipment) and it's not really very good.

8 gamers found this review helpful
Warhammer 40,000: Chaos Gate

FAECES!

One star? Because it's broken as said in at least 50 other reviews? Nope? It worked on my W10 system so GOG must've fixed it. It's one star because it CHEATS. You have NO chance. Right from the git-go enemy units have at least 150 action points against your 30 - 40. They also seem damn near invincible. I had one stinking dog wipe out three squads in the third campaign scenario! I hit the dog 50 times, including a dozen heavy bolter hits. Nothing. Not even a hair out of place on it's tail. You have 100% hit chance? Miss, miss, miss, miss, miss, miss. They have 0% hit chance and a completely beyond their weapon range. Screw dat sez de AI. I fior anywoo. Hit hit hit hit hit hit. You do manage to hit? Even with a krak missile. Ah tickle tickle. They hit you with just the smell of their farts? Kablooooooey manaloooooooey you go. There's another review by a "scooney" on here that says the same (less rudely). I'm not mincing words. Hello Falran! This isn't even worth the time downloading/installing. Don't even bother with it being free in that Warhammer "goodies" pack.

1 gamers found this review helpful
The Elder Scrolls II: Daggerfall

FAECES!

Whose bum are these 4 and 5 star reviews being sucked out of? This is broken, utterly. The sounds don't work, they just stutter and judder. You cannot even use your weapons, press right mouse button while moving the mouse about to swing? Nope. Nothing happens. Well ok, once in every ten tries it does, make a very slow 10 seconds per frame swing, but by then even the first bat in the tutorial has wiped you out multiple times over. There are free open source remakes of this available I believe. I'd recommend checking these out. This GOG version, though also free, is not even worth the time it takes to "buy", download and install.

15 gamers found this review helpful