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Sandy_Claws: Granted, but it's free for everyone else too.

I wish that mosquitoes didn't want human blood, only that of animals.
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Detlik: Granted, but they will gain strength of that animal and will start attacking humans.

I wish for a hat.
Granted, but the hat takes control of you at inopportune times.

I wish to get an Emperor Workstation 200.
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JudasIscariot: Granted, but the hat takes control of you at inopportune times.

I wish to get an Emperor Workstation 200.
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Detlik: Granted, you will get it at pretty much affordable price, with big discount and such, but it will break as soon as you will touch it and you cant return it.

I wish...for a slice of apple pie. Made of radioactive apples. Which can sing.
Granted, but before you can actually taste this radioactive bit of goodness, the apples start mutating. They grow to a huge size, gain the ability to walk, and go on a city-smashing rampage all to the tune of "I'm Singing in the Rain"
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Detlik: Granted, you will get it at pretty much affordable price, with big discount and such, but it will break as soon as you will touch it and you cant return it.

I wish...for a slice of apple pie. Made of radioactive apples. Which can sing.
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Shadowsetzer: Granted, but the apple pie melts through the floor while singing 'It's a small world' over and over again, horribly off key.

I wish this thread had never existed. :)
Granted, but then it turns out this thread was one of the things keeping you in this time continuum. With this thread's erasure, you too are erased from existence.

I wish there were less forum ninjas :P
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Detlik: Granted, you will get it at pretty much affordable price, with big discount and such, but it will break as soon as you will touch it and you cant return it.

I wish...for a slice of apple pie. Made of radioactive apples. Which can sing.
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fursav: Granted but the apples obviously have mouths and will only sing for you if you feed them your fingers.

I am a good ninja and a santa today.

Somebody should grant 3 wishes.

Edit: I ninjad a blue post... Awesome.
I could cheat, you know :P ( I won't of course, because that would be the height of rudeness :D )
Post edited August 04, 2012 by JudasIscariot
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Sandy_Claws: I wish the colour spectrum didn't include pink.
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sloganvirst: Granted, but then there would be no STRAWBERRY ICECREAM!!!!

I wish for an egg.
Granted, but it's invulnerable to all damage :D

I wish for a longer summer.
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JudasIscariot: I wish for a longer summer.
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Psyringe: Granted, but it will be hot enough to melt concrete.

I wish for a pet jabberwocky.
Granted, but it eats you.

I wish for MOAR wishes!
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JudasIscariot: I wish for MOAR wishes!
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Psyringe: Granted, but you have to fulfill each and every one of them, personally.

Speaking of which ...

I wish for the entire GOG catalog to be added to my account. :)
I see what you did there :P

Granted, but then all of the games don't stay put on the shelf and they randomly change so you never know what you will get :P

(Please note no catalog has been granted /disclaimer )

I wish I could fly.
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Sandy_Claws: I wish for a working perpetuum mobile prototype.
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Jaime: Granted, but now you're hunted by secret agents of every government in the world.

I wish I hadn't eaten that soggy pizza yesterday.
Granted, but you can never eat pizza again. :D
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Jaime: Granted, but now you're hunted by secret agents of every government in the world.

I wish I hadn't eaten that soggy pizza yesterday.
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Licurg: Granted, but now you're starving.

I wish everybody in the world played Sacrifice...
Granted, but they all give it bad reviews :P

I wish for Jedi-like powers.
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fursav: I wish GOG would fix their forums.
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Jaime: Granted, but now they have no resources left for adding new releases.

I wish she weren't made of ivory and gold :(
Granted, but she's made of salt now.

Faster typing skills, I wish.
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DrOblivious: Granted, your head will explode for no apparent reason.
I wish to be fluent in all languages, known and unknown to man.
Granted but you will speak in all of them at once, unable to focus on only one
I wish to be able to heal every disease - physical and psychological
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thespian9099: Granted, you're eaten alive by a dangerous alien entity
I wish to be an allmighty being
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Leroux: Granted, but you're the younger brother of another almighty being, and you're still getting bullied.

I wish I could prolong and shorten the hours of a day at will.
Granted but you are not above 4th dimension therefore you cant notice your time manipulation
I wish to know and be able to uncorrupted wishes in this thread
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DrOblivious: Granted, but light can now only move at a snail's pace.

I wish that John Williams would give my life a musical score.
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thespian9099: Granted, you're one of the first victims of the shark Jaws

I wish not being tired anymore
Granted, but now you can't sleep ever again and you'll be going slowly going insane from not being able to sleep.

I wish for world peace.
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JudasIscariot: I wish for world peace.
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thespian9099: Granted, but the world is conquered unopposed by warmonger aliens

I wish no more hunger in the world
granted, but you, your family and your clones are the new source of cheap food

I wish to become happy forever
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Ultimatum: Granted,but you turn into SpongeBob

I wish I could have infinite bacon.
Granted, but you are forever hounded by the bacon-worshiping sect of reddit.

I wish I could conquer the world.
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sloganvirst: Granted, but nobody likes you because your smarter than them.

I wish for a invulnerable potato with twin gattling guns
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Ric1987: Grante, but the potato is alive and it turns on you first before going after all humanity.
I wish I could think of a wish.
granted, but your wish is corrupted and it turns on you somehow
I wish to know what I know now while I was a kid

EDIT
Ninja... oh well - lets go for the seccond one ;)

Granted, but someone choke on you and you will become only reason that Oscar Meyer bankrupt
I wish to know what I know now while I was a kid
Post edited August 05, 2012 by Skreczi
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Sandy_Claws: I wish rubber ducks were more widely accepted in public pools.
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sloganvirst: Granted, but then all the water is replaced with rubber ducks.

I wish I had an explosive TV.
granted, but your TV explodes and kills you.

I wish Google Chrome wasn't such a memory hog when I have 10+ tabs open :D