Fight 10

Twirling twin swords, reading glasses resting on her head, (80) Jandyr enters the arena.
Opposing is the no-longer entirely Canadian (23) OblonGerald, proudly wearing a scarf made of fish.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

Jandyr rolls 10
OblonGerald rolls 4

OblonGerald is a bit disorientated "I was walking my pet Moose when a space ship landed on my head and this guy sorta merged with me. What's that all aboot then, eh?"

Jandyr ignores his ramblings, swords a blur butchering some pastry people in the crowd in order to make a giant pie while she catches up on the latest Drizzt adventure.

OblonGerald "Anywho's, now I can enjoy fish like normal peopl... ho, I appear to be caught up in the middle of your pie buddy?"

OblonGerald's entire body swells up as he has an allergic reaction to his encasement. Jandyr sits off to one side, engrossed in her book.

OblonGerald chokes "I say guy? Buddy? This isn't very Canadian of you..." and he passes out.

Jandyr walks out of the arena, head in her book.
OblonGerald is sat at the bar in front of a giant penguin that is secretly hoping he doesn't ask the band to play some Nickleback.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Fight 11

Little coughs and wheezes heralds the arrival of (21) The Ill Tadpole, large eyes sizing up those around it.
Dropping down in a cloud of smoke is the voodoo shaman (17) Natande.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

The Ill Tadpole rolls 6
Natande rolls 4

Natande stomps his feet while preparing to cast a suffocating cloud of smoke "Mon, I crush you like the bug you are!"
The Ill Tadpole has a coughing fit as the smoky air aggravates its bronchitis. It coughs out a gross ball of flem which flies to splatter in Natande's face.
"Gross, Mon!" the disgusted shaman splutters.

* DICE ROLL 2 *

The Ill Tadpole rolls 9
Natande rolls 5

Natande loses sight of the amphibian but can smell ammonia as a voice says "Say hello to my little friend, bosom-child of mine" very close by.
He feels a prick in his skinny ankle as the tadpole jabs him with its poison-tipped tail and collapses to the ground, spasming.

The Ill Tadpole leaves the arena coughing up blood as it goes.
Natande is at the bar blowing smoke through a hookah.

OblonGerald, nOoOoOoOo!

Yay, Jandyrs training paid off :-)

It was foolhardy to challenge The Ill Tadpole with a name that anagrams to "at an end". Future contestants might want to rethink their names. You have been forewarned, my children!

You reminded me about this reaction to what Jar Jar Binks looks like. ;)

https://www.darthsanddroids.net/episodes/0020.html

(The comic can roughly be summed up as "What if Star Wars movies were an RPG?")

The sun was in OblonGerald's eyes.

So many good Fight Club contestants!
As a hobbyist quilter I can't help rooting for Hexley Threadbare. His entry had me in stitches.
I also had great fun reading Sir Reginald Featherbottom's entry and his creative style. I look forward to seeing his bouts

But ... I have a baby in this fight. ;)

Thanks for the fun, Doc! Good luck, fighters!

Let me guess. She reads Game of Thrones or some other book with combat.

Of course, isn't that how you learn sword fighting? ;-)

The fight descriptions are hilarious (and some hilarously brutal).
Keep them coming!

Fight 12

Trundling along on his unicycle is (5) Eccles, the Pufferfish gazing longingly at the water to either side of the ship.
Dropping opposite and landing on all four paws is (20) Stormaggedon, leader of secret hitkittens. So secret that that is literally all the information I've been given about him :/

* DICE ROLL 1 *

Eccles rolls 12
Stormaggedon rolls 6

The ninja cat throws shurikens and shoots lasers from his right eye (?) at his piscine foe but Eccles expertly weaves in and out of the barrage on his unicycle before barreling into the cat and knocking him over the edge into the water.

A propellor emerges from beneath Stormaggedon's tail as he attempts to escape but Eccles is quicker and summons four Octopus pals that each grab a feline leg and proceed to tear the cat apart.

Eccles sploshes around happily, enjoying the applause and cheers.
Stormaggedon is at the bar attempting to recruit more cats into the Claws of Furry.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Fight 13

A putrid smell pervades the arena paralysing many members of the audience (some of whom have their brains munched by opportunist zombies). (24) Dill.i.am strides in on mutated cucumber legs with a yell of "I'm PickleDill.i.am!".

Pouncing in, chasing a butterfly, and then his tail, and then the butterfly again is (27) Felix - cute kitten extraordinaire. He wrinkles his nose at the smell and meows adorably.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

Dill.i.am rolls 8
Felix rolls 6

Dill.i.am sprouts some gross arms and tries to grab the kitten as it runs around him, batting the cucumber with its little paws. The vegetable changes tact and instead squirts some of his sour juices onto the cat who stops and wretches, sick pooling around him.

* DICE ROLL 2 *

Dill.i.am rolls 6
Felix rolls 6

Dill.i.am stops transfixed by the kittens cuteness while Felix stops to wonder if the green thing is edible or not?

* DICE ROLL 3 *

Dill.i.am rolls 9
Felix rolls 5

Dill.i.am throws a ball of yarn for the cat to chase, having secretly run the yarn under his armpit before hand.
Felix excitedly chases and catches the yarn only to be rendered unconscious by the smell that stains it.

Dill.i.am leaves the arena, still unsure of his place in the world.
Felix is at the bar, determined to make the strange penguin his own personal plaything.

That's my guy / pufferfish! Wow, two cats outed in one post. Not saying dogs are better than cats, but, you know... ;-)

So far, the felines are getting a storming beating...

Mountain Stream is slowly pouring into arena. Throwing hundred of trouts as bribe to win the crowds. And splashing fresh cold water on everyone, who feel overheat. :)

Keep the weird fights coming!