Lula: The Sexy Empire

One of the worst game I ever played: - stupid interface - idiotic gameplay - no fun in playing - completely unsexy - no tutorial Waste of money, don't buy, it's like throwing money to garbage.

So bad

The title of my review is not hyperbole. I've been gaming since the late 1980s and have probably played over a thousand video games, and if I had to pick one single worst game out of all of those, I would pick this one. First, make no mistake: I am one of the least prudish people you will ever meet. For example, Oglaf is one of my favorite webcomics, and it's an extremely explicit one. The problem is that nothing in this game is either funny or erotic. Despite attempts to the contrary, the only humor to be found is the unintentional kind. For instance, in the bar bathroom there's a guy urinating on the wall. This is the developers' idea of a gag. I'm laughing, but at it, not with it. Sloppiness abounds. There is occasional voice acting, but the acting is extremely flat, as though they pulled a random person off the street to read off a sheet of paper. Furthermore, the lip-synching for this alleged acting is so poor it couldn't really be called synching. Honestly, there was little enough of it that synching it properly should not be a big deal. In the second act of the game, you run an adult film studio, and you can hire various staff like secretaries, production assistants, and directors. Sounds OK, right? But the staff will appear in the appropriate rooms whether you've hired them yet or not. It's rather bizarre seeing a director's chair being occupied by a big fat ass and being told that you haven't hired a director yet. But the heart of a game is the gameplay, right? And Lula disappoints here once again. In addition to being unfunny and unsexy, the game is uninteresting. I'm running out of space for this review, so you'll have to trust me when I say it's mostly tedious and without substance. If you're the sort of person who would buy a game like Big Rigs just to see how truly stunningly bad it is, this game is for you. Otherwise, STAY THE HELL AWAY.

The only reason it's a good thing that this game is on this site is so that you can see how pathetic the people are that give it high ratings which in a way gives this game a reason for existing.

GoG needs a store filter. Children come here fools!