Granted, I hit you in the head with a steel pipe and leave it beside your bed while you're comatose.

If this is the thread we're sticking with, I wish for it to have the name I chose. Again.

Granted, but you suddenly start regretting your choice.

I wish for a remake of Leisure Suit Larry 4 (even though adventure games aren't really my thing).

Granted, it's now an FMV starring inbred actors who can't say the lines clearly and they have deeply unpleasant proportions in all the worst places.

I wish I didn't have to make my previous wish twice, DTGREENE.

You spelled my username wrong (my username is in lowercase, you spelled it in all caps), so the wish has not been granted. Instead, you are cursed, and are now unable to say the word "wish".

I wish for a SaGa SRPG.

Banned for cursing in the wrong thread. Here's the right thread. You know it well. There will be no SaGa SRPG for you tonight, young lady.

I wish you a merry Christmas.

Granted, but just like in the Black Mirror episode, It never ends!

I wish for world peace.

The world is blown up into a huge number of pieces, so there will be no more wars.

Furthermore, the last word of the wish is interpreted as "piece", so you are given a piece of the world.

i wish for a bow.

Because of all the noise from the world blowing up, I thought you said 'cow'. Wish granted.

I wish that the cow is the primeval cow Audumbla of Norse mytholoy and that a new Earth can arise from her milk.

You receive a large bow as one of those "sexy" Halloween costumes, this one is themed on being a Christmas present; but your significant other (or the next would-be) finds it a huge turn-off.

I wish the dating scene never became a #MeToo minefield where video evidence of every moment is required to prove innocence.

Does it at least come with arrows?

Direction arrows are painted onto the bow's material.

The milk goes stale before New Earth is even half-finished, also some jerk named it "Bob".

I still wish the dating scene never became a #MeToo minefield where video evidence of every moment is required to prove innocence.

Wish granted to some extent by removing you from the dating scene altogether, to spend your social life here in this forum until eventually it closes down.

I wish they would stop making Spiderman movies.

Granted, but Spider-verse's puke-art and none of the clever writing spills into every other movie for the rest of time.

I wish Fuel was patched with the improvements I described in the Fix Flawed Games thread, and had 100's of unique Easter eggs scattered around the map.

Granted, but a new flaw develops that makes it impossible to find every unique Easter egg.

I wish they finally developed Time Splitters 4.

It's so loaded with micro-transactions that you can't even take a step or fire a shot without paying for the privilege.

I wish every game ever was released on GOG.