I wish I were an Oscar Meyer Weiner
However, since now everyone has fallen in love with you life has become a hell on earth.
You find nowhere to be alone and are constantly hounded by zealous, fiendishly adoring fans willing to do anything just to get a piece of you. Unable to cope with this barrage night and day you crumple under the pressure and end your life.
Another sad sad victim of frankfurtricide.....
I wish I could stop sneezing.