Granted. They are banned...but take no notice of this.

I wish that stupid hawk would move to another neighborhood for good

*bump*

Granted. But now an owl moves in and shouts all night long, making it very difficult for you to sleep.

I wish that "whatever it is i am doing daily and with big success outside", to result into something serious and permanent.

Granted. But now you have to stay outside all the time

I wish I could find another example of my favorite old t-shirt. This one has rust stains now

Granted, but you have to pay US $ 912871384783 to get it.

I wish i could tele transport myself to will.

Granted, but Will makes you teleport away immediately

I wish I could win sweepstakes etc whenever I wished

Granted. But then you get greedy, and get arrested for tampering. You try explaining what really happened, which just makes it worse: you're shipped off to a secret CIA compound and no one ever hears from you again.

I wish I was a master of kung fu.

You become one, but your master is the real deal and forces you to deal into chi kung, nei kung, weidan and neidan, so your life force reserves (chi) are halved from overuse and your body exhausted from TCM products.

I wish i could date my new coworker.

Granted. Here's a tasty box of dates that are all packaged up, ready to send to your coworker's house.

Hey don't get angry, you wished to "date" your coworker, so you got what you asked for. :P

I wish for a good cup of coffee.

Granted,but it's always lukewarm....

I wish for a massive inheritance...

Granted. You get a massive inheritance of peanuts which you eat all day long and get morbidly obese.

I wish for more games on gog like triple A titles.

Granted. The publishers decide to raise the prices of their triple A titles exclusively on GOG. You can't afford them now, and you start feeling like a second class citizen since the titles are cheaper on Steam.

I wish I could drink all the coffee I want without getting shaky.

Granted
Cafeine is made illegal. Decaf is now the only thing available.

I wish I would have had the courage to ask my first crush on a date.

You did, and guess what? They even accepted! But they hate the things you like, and you're still trying to agree on where to go and what to do. All the while, missing out on other, more promising dates. You suddenly realise that life has gone by and you haven't gone on a single date.


I wish the next person that moves into the apartment downstairs is more considered than the last one.