Granted, but as real NWO, it is a secret society, your superiors spy on you and report to their own superiors all the time, you have to bypass trials and rituals in order to become a member and advance in the ranks and at the slightest hint of wanting to leave, you can even be assassinated and all your traces undone completely.

I wish for Juichimen's protection.

He grants you a merciful and peaceful death. No one can hurt you ever again.

I wish everyone in the world was ambidextrous.

Wish granted, but their writing is horrible from either hand. (i am ambidextrous and my left hand writes at slower pace and more ugly letters).

I wish for the favor of Bishamon Ten.

Granted. He gives you the grace to choose more mainstream refs in your future wishes

I wish for a Philly cheese steak (with sauteed onions) for dinner from a real Philadelphia restaurant. Yum!

Wish granted, but a squeaking mouse jumps in and grabs your cheese, making off with it, before you even have your first bite; it leaves you the rest portion untouched, though...

I wish to receive Amaterasu's influence.

One bad sunburn, coming right up.

I wish I had my own submarine.

Granted! But its the one from Das Boot and is already at the bottom of the dock.

I wish I was not cynical.

Wish granted, but now, you become comical instead!

I wish to be blessed by Kamo Daimyojin.

Granted. You are visited by the deity and blessed. The sound of the deity's very voice renders your mortal ears deaf and, sadly, you don't even hear what you are blessed with. Here's hoping it's not a blessing of not having to wake up to an alarm clock early in the morning.

I wish for a can of soda. Orange, please.

You get a fabulous, sparkling, tin can, of extra refrigerated soda with orange, but upon savoring it and gulping, you realize someone stole the orange; it is bare soda, but very cool!

I wish for the protection of Fudo Myo.

Granted, but since you spelled it wrong, you instead get the protection of Fred Figglehorn.

I wish my tablet's screen wasn't partly (nor completely) broken.

Granted, but the screen can ondly display black and white.

I wish Samsung Galaxy S6 had easy user-replacable battery, like previous phones in the series.

It does now. And a good thing too, since now the battery only lasts about an hour.

I wish my wrist would stop hurting.

Granted. Now you don't have a wrist.

I wish no one replied to this thread any more.

Granted. After one or two years, some Korean spam account will pop in and necro the thread. Then it will brim with activity again.

I wish for a full week of good bike riding weather.