I've been struggling through this one, and I'm not even sure why anymore. The gameplay is the same as the first (with some changes), the xcom sections aren't great, but I appreciate their focus on stealth, and the writing... Is the most inane, stream-of-conscious drivel I've ever heard. Everyone and their grandma has an anecdote about "what it's really like out here," and they all prattle on, swear like drunken sailors, gush over fictional books, and complain about every tiny little inconvenience. The opening cutscene lasts what felt like an hour, with the only gameplay breaks lasting actual seconds. There's something I like to call "Imitation Tarantino Syndrome." It's when a writer binges all of Tarantino's films in a short period of time, takes a liking to the long-winded, realistic dialogue, and decides he could do the same thing if he only pries out his backspace key with a screwdriver. This game is the clearest possible example of this sort of writing. There is a book within the game's universe called "The Last Temptation of Neptune," and your officers will frequently paraphrase it, quote it, gush over it, and ask to be let off duty to read the sequel. Each time, they will give you a several paragraph block of text that reads like a parody of an obsessed fangirl, in what is supposed to be a gritty crime drama. This doesn't just happen a few times. It is nearly every day; often multiple times in succession. There are so many times when so much more could have been said by simply shutting up, but instead the game shoves in several minutes of fauxetic fluff just to fill any conceivable silence. I didn't even mind the direction they took Jack's character, or the less-than-subtle feminist angle with Lily's arc. I can see them being controversial, but at least these characters aren't annoying. But I can't enjoy them because everyone around them jabbers until their jaws fall off. If you want to be a writer, don't write like this. You're not Tarantino.
The promised real time timer is a bit of a half truth. The game doesn't have one overarching timer that chronicles an entire day. Instead, the game is divided into a series of 3 stealth levels, two of which have a strict one-hour timer, and a few other levels with no timer. It's the former where you can see what the devs were cooking. You're sneaking through an office building, minimizing your time in restricted areas and avoiding the security guard (just the one), all while trying to steal info from notoriously slow 80s computers and put it on floppy disks. On that note, it's rare that a game lets its setting dictate gameplay, but it works quite well. You actually need to use these computers realistically, and you can't rely on modern networking. Some still use punchcards, and some files need to be printed and faxed because there's no email yet. It's part of what makes this such an interesting ImSim, but sadly, that's where my praise has to end. The story is really bad. Despite its 1987 setting, the plot is pulled from directly from 2010s headlines, and written to be confidently pretentious. When you're tackling a topic as nuanced and difficult as illegal immigration, the fastest way to make yourself look ill-informed is to lead with the question "what makes a person illegal?" Its flimsy attempts at nuance amount to the evil racists saying "I'm just doing me job, guv" when you confront them. The actual conspiracy unfolds without any major shocks or twists. The good guys are good, the bad guys are (affably) evil, and the solutions are always obvious. The voice acting is usually quite good, but some (including the main villain) stick out as obvious miscasts. Some key characters don't even have a British accent, despite the setting. All this, and a series of ridiculous bugs might make you wonder if you should play this game. I can't really answer that for you. It gets dirt cheap around sale season, though, so if any of this interests you... have at it, I guess.
Dystopika isn't really a game, it's an art tool. You place things, and things occasionally unlock. There are no goals or challenges. In other words, the "function" of your city is completely meaningless, and you can concentrate all your energy on making it look exactly the way you want. The game will even fill in the blanks with procedural buildings if you don't feel like building everything by yourself. And once you have built the cyberpunk city of your dreams, then the real fun begins. The game's photo mode is incredibly robust, allowing you to take pictures or video of you city from whatever angle you like, or put the camera on a track and sweep through the busiest district with the flow of sky traffic. You can pick the weather, the time of day, the lighting, the color filters, and anything else your heart desires. You are literally only limited by your imagination, and your skills with a video editor. And at only $4, it's an absolute steal.
If you didn't already know, Drake of the 99 Dragons became infamous 20 years ago as one of the worst games ever made. Remember all those ancient YouTube videos about Big Rigs OTRR, Superman 64, and Bubsy 3D? Drake was on those same lists. It even got an AVGN video. It's a piece of gaming history in the worst way, but history all the same. There are people complaining on the forums that GOG relisted this game. As if only good games should ever be preserved. This mindset is short-sighted, and opens the door to art destruction based on subjective interpretations of quality. While I can't recommend this game to any sane individual (unless you're a lets player with a sadomasochistic streak); I can also appreciate that it still exists, and ask that you look at it for what it is: Not simply a product of its time, nor a victim of misguided outrage, but one of the most important dumpster fires of the 6th generation. Don't buy this game. Don't play this game. But keep the spirit of preservation alive.
Comment out any references to "shake," and this will disable the abhorrent screen shaking when you take damage. You're welcome.
As of this review, the game sits at 4.8 stars. People are glad to have this game back, and for good reason. There's truly no game like it, for better or worse. Over time, however, I expect the score to dip into the 3.5 range. Eventually, people are going to forget the miraculous preservation, and remember that this is still Alpha Protocol. So what is this game, really? Imagine you were an ambitious team at Obsidian. You were hell bent on making the ultimate modern spycraft RPG. Your biggest inspirations at the time were the original Mass Effect, and the classic Deus Ex games. But you also wanted to push the envelope and create a branching storyline where every decision you make has sweeping consequences down the road... ...But you didn't really have that much money. You remember that old Family Guy gag about the 6 million dollar man? The end result is one of the jankiest, clunkiest, most unbalanced AAA releases of the 7th generation. You can put all your skill points in pistols and cruise through the entire game on the hardest difficulty, or screw around with submachine guns and suffer the consequences. Enemy AI is braindead. Plot points often feel disconnected. My old steam version would crash constantly back in the day, although I believe this has been fixed with the GOG release. It's a hard game to love, but love it I do. I've played through this game like five times, and I still haven't seen a quarter of all the crazy things obsidian worked hard to put in it. The game's actual mission content is something you can get through in about 10 to 15 hours, but if you try to do enough playthroughs to see everything that can actually happen in the game's branching storyline, you're looking at an easy 100 hours. So if you decide to buy Obsidian's classic labor of love, understand what you're getting into. Alpha Protocol is one of the most ambitious games of all time, and it's held together with paper clips and rubber bands.
Greedy EA reboots? A classic collection that doesn't work? You must have hit your head pretty hard. Play some Galactic Conquest. It'll make you feel better.
Steam version was delisted the day I posted this review. I'm not sure why this version is still available, but it might not be for much longer.
To quickly dispel the myth that this game somehow has a "deep" and "amazing" story on par with The New Order: it's a cesspit of toilet humor and heavy-handed preaching, eschewing even basic believability in favor of "inspirational" messages like "fat positivity" or... pregnant women can fight giant robots? It's a sixth grade book report on Quentin Tortellini that didn't even bother to spell his name right. It doesn't understand the style it's trying to ape, and misses the entire point of the original. The Nazis no longer feel like a credible threat, despite them taking over the goddamn world in the last game, and the protagonists no longer have a shred of depth or likability. If you're planning on playing this for the story, *don't.* You will be dreadfully disappointed. But this is a video game, so... how's the gameplay? Your mileage may vary. If you're planning on playing the console version, *don't.* If you have a good PC, but you're thinking about playing with a controller, *don't.* The combat is tuned entirely for keyboard and mouse. No amount of aim assist will save you from the game's *extremely* low time-to-kill and lightning fast enemies. Stealth, too, is absurdly overtuned, allowing enemies to see you through walls, and having some enemies that just can't be killed quietly. This isn't to say *everything* is stacked against the player. There are early game upgrades that allow you to completely shred through even the tankiest enemies, but this goes both ways. The average player will need the speed and precision of mouse and keyboard, and there just isn't any getting around that. If you play by the rules, you certainly *can* have fun here, especially if you like save-scumming, but it still never rises to the highs of its predecessors.
There's a slight misconception that this was the first FPS to be set in a world where the Nazis won WWII; but it's actually the *third,* behind Mortyr (1999) and Turning Point: Fall of Liberty (2008). Two obscure, janky titles that aren't really worth playing beyond pure curiosity. Wolfenstein: The New Order was the first game to nail it. The setting is as bleak and depressing as its dystopian setting warrants, relying on an introspective protagonist, poetic dialogue, gorgeous scenery, and a classic Mick Gordon soundtrack to move the plot. There's no point where you can just flip a switch and save the world, because the fight is already *lost*. You feel more like a pebble in the shoe of the cruel dictators ruling the world, striking back in whatever ways you can against an invincible enemy. The cruelty of the Nazi regime is put on full display, albeit with a science fiction flair. Mass graves, vivisection, panopticons, slavery, and copious amounts of body horror make this possibly the most accurate and gruesome depiction of Nazi atrocities in gaming. And at the end of the day, it's also just an excellent shooter. Crisp feedback and powerful guns, mixed with great level design, make you feel like an 80s action hero outmatched against a much more powerful enemy. A few miniboss enemies are typically sprinkled in with a much larger horde of grunts, forcing you to learn the map and avoid killzones. If the hallway in the middle is dominated by a giant robot, then you'd best save him for last, and stick to the smaller corridors where the grunts funnel through. But even then, you still might need to retreat if you find yourself getting flanked. It's a constant tug of war between holding out, and pushing for better cover and pickups. On top of all that, if you aren't sure about the price, just wishlist it. It gets dirt cheap during sales. You'll be glad you waited.
