Why don't you two just get a room.

Yes they did. They're identical twins; can't you tell from the long gray beard and the red armor? That only forms naturally.

I've got news for you: you're color-blind, but that may be only the start.

Well if I'm a rubber band then I suppose I could tie the shoes together for convenience. People do tend to leave when I fart, and then I'm left all alone.

^ Refrain from eating all of that spicy seafood jumbo and boudin balls and friendly folks won't frequently fear your fetid farts.

Now now, now.

You want the whole grilled Kraken for yourself? Remember, you have to finish it.

Here, use this instant patch kit.

It's dangerous to go alone! Take this.

I agree that blowing through a phone is strange, and not particularly effective, considering that the chord only transmits electricity, not wind. Is it time to rake the leaves already?

That is why we invented the mobile. These days, when the wind direction is unfavourable, all you have to do is approach the person you want to talk to and tell them whatever it is you want to tell them to their face. Try that with a landline, you would run out of cord pretty fast.

I agree that having sex on a landmine is a bad idea, but I don't see how driving a moped over it would make it any safer.

It's exactly as safe as it should be for whoever is driving the moped.

I don't think shaving underwater would necessarily be painful, but it may not work as well.

Just don't forget to wear something over your underwear. Otherwise, you may receive some attention from police officers.