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justanoldgamer: Here's a joke I invented and posted on a Buffy site a while back. I've seen it on other sites since then.

Why did the vampire slayer cross the road?
Because it turned.
Next...turn somebody:-)
There was this text game released in the 90's called Time Zero. It had a lot of humor, mostly puns.

I remember some silly situations described in the review, such as "You will come across a rag man that looks quite confused, later you will be asked to find an anagram for the word anagram. I will list the solution here to help you avoid any headaches. A RAG Man is anagram for Anagram."

"You will find a stop watch inside of a case. You know you might need the watch, but you must break the case to get it. When you try to break the glass you indeed Stop because you feel someone Watching you."

My favorite line from the review was "He is so pigheaded he is a boar."

Sounds like a game inspired by all those jokes from Puny Bones from Quest for Glory 4.
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TERRI29: There was this text game released in the 90's called Time Zero. It had a lot of humor, mostly puns.
There is another game from the same era starting with the same letter. Boy, was that one full of jokes.

e.g. You give a hedgehog a plastic apple in exchange for a pine cone, which if you combine with a needle and a feather you make a... dart. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
Wifi went down for five minutes, so i had to talk to my family. They seem like nice people.
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sirhamude: Wifi went down for five minutes, so i had to talk to my family. They seem like nice people.
That's not funny man! :P

My brother visited with us last month and we lost WiFi for 10 minutes and it was only time during the whole week he was here that he noticed we were in the room. XD
Post edited January 13, 2015 by tinyE
I appreciate that Might and Magic X has a "Joke of the Day" character in it. And they're all just as terrible as they were in the 80s.

Although not exactly a joke-punchline sort of joke, I've been talking about "indexes" lately. It's just like the "heat index" and I use it in a humorous way.

For instance, this year will be my 8th wedding anniversary, but our golden wedding anniversary index.

(that means married for 8, feels like 50)

Or I have a child index of 9. I only have 3 kids, but it feels like I have 9.

I have a backlog index of 8. It feels like I only have 8 games left to play when in fact it's closer to 90. So I must buy more!

What sort of indexes do you have?
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sirhamude: I once took a girl to Starbucks because I forgot her name.
That's less of a joke and more of a life hack...
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Tallima: I appreciate that Might and Magic X has a "Joke of the Day" character in it. And they're all just as terrible as they were in the 80s.

Although not exactly a joke-punchline sort of joke, I've been talking about "indexes" lately. It's just like the "heat index" and I use it in a humorous way.

For instance, this year will be my 8th wedding anniversary, but our golden wedding anniversary index.

(that means married for 8, feels like 50)

Or I have a child index of 9. I only have 3 kids, but it feels like I have 9.

I have a backlog index of 8. It feels like I only have 8 games left to play when in fact it's closer to 90. So I must buy more!

What sort of indexes do you have?
Mine's Money Index
I'm a Multi-Millionaire,but it feels like Iv'e only got $1.01 cents.
No No Hang on just counted it,I lie I have only 99 cents:-)
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Tallima: I appreciate that Might and Magic X has a "Joke of the Day" character in it. And they're all just as terrible as they were in the 80s.

Although not exactly a joke-punchline sort of joke, I've been talking about "indexes" lately. It's just like the "heat index" and I use it in a humorous way.

For instance, this year will be my 8th wedding anniversary, but our golden wedding anniversary index.

(that means married for 8, feels like 50)

Or I have a child index of 9. I only have 3 kids, but it feels like I have 9.

I have a backlog index of 8. It feels like I only have 8 games left to play when in fact it's closer to 90. So I must buy more!

What sort of indexes do you have?
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gunsynd: Mine's Money Index
I'm a Multi-Millionaire,but it feels like Iv'e only got $1.01 cents.
No No Hang on just counted it,I lie I have only 99 cents:-)
That reminds me of Bill Gates. Someone was pestering him for having so much money. He said something like: "Look. My money is in my company and other investments. My take-home is $250,000 a year. Is that high? Sure. Is it like i'm spending billions on crap? No."*

*not a direct quote
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sirhamude: I once took a girl to Starbucks because I forgot her name.
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Randalator: That's less of a joke and more of a life hack...
Haha, true.
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gunsynd: Mine's Money Index
I'm a Multi-Millionaire,but it feels like Iv'e only got $1.01 cents.
No No Hang on just counted it,I lie I have only 99 cents:-)
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Tallima: That reminds me of Bill Gates. Someone was pestering him for having so much money. He said something like: "Look. My money is in my company and other investments. My take-home is $250,000 a year. Is that high? Sure. Is it like i'm spending billions on crap? No."*

*not a direct quote
If he said this, My take-home is $250,000 a year.
What a load of CRAP.:-)
After being diagnosed with a multiple personality disorder, I phoned my boss to tell him I'd need time off. "You're self-employed, you stupid bastard," I said.
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Tallima: That reminds me of Bill Gates. Someone was pestering him for having so much money. He said something like: "Look. My money is in my company and other investments. My take-home is $250,000 a year. Is that high? Sure. Is it like i'm spending billions on crap? No."*

*not a direct quote
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gunsynd: If he said this, My take-home is $250,000 a year.
What a load of CRAP.:-)
It was a long time ago when he said it. Here's a 2004 article where he's making about $900k a year.

When I heard about his pay it was in the Win95/Win98 era. It could have been total crap, though.


Here's a joke: How many orcs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Answer: 3. One to... AHHHHHH! I've been stabbed!

Don't mock orcs.
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sirhamude: After being diagnosed with a multiple personality disorder, I phoned my boss to tell him I'd need time off. "You're self-employed, you stupid bastard," I said.
Dude, this is the joke thread. Not the "bitch about your life in general".
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sirhamude: After being diagnosed with a multiple personality disorder, I phoned my boss to tell him I'd need time off. "You're self-employed, you stupid bastard," I said.
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ZFR: Dude, this is the joke thread. Not the "bitch about your life in general".
But what if my life is a joke?Then it would be ok to post this ? :))