tl;dr: The lease for our three-room apartment was terminated six weeks ago and I just had to tell my flatmate of four years that I'll be moving into a new two-room apartment with flatmate no. 2.

I feel like a piece of shit.


Long (very long) version: Our lease was unexpectedly terminated six weeks ago. Flatmate no. 2 and I have to move out by 30 June, flatmate no. 1 by 31 August. We decided that we'd try and look for a new apartment as a group but also look for single- or two-room options on the side and to find a new home as quickly as possible. The latter because our city's housing market is fucked up enough at the best of times, once students start searching accomodation for the new term around may-ish it just goes kablooey.

Predictably, finding suitable and affordable apartments for the three of us has been ridiculously hard, we only had 4 viewings since, usually we'd simply get no answer at all or at best a "Sharehome arrangement? For three? HELL NO!". Even the simpler two-room option mostly got the same result despite getting a lot more viewings at least.

On Saturday we had a short-notice viewing for an awesome three-room apartment but it was only flatmate no. 2 and me. Flatmate no. 1 preferred to go out with a friend. That didn't sit too well with us, especially since he hadn't actively been searching for apartments up to this point. On Monday he apologized, promised to start participating and made an arrangement for viewing the apartment on the next possible date (tomorrow/Friday)...

That evening we were offered one of the two-room apartments we had viewed last week. We got two more offers within 90 minutes which a) is more luck in 90 minutes than most people have in a year and b) proves that "unattractive unless taken" is not only true for relationships...

We accepted the best of the offers but tried to stall the signing of the lease for as long as possible to allow for a chance to score the three-room apartment instead. Unfortunately, we couldn't stall past Friday, 5pm, which is when we'll sign the lease. That means the "move as a group" option is now definitely out, because we decided that we wouldn't/couldn't skip a good opportunity for just a vague chance at a better one. And I just had to tell flatmate no. 1...

Flatmate no. 1 is the "weakest link" in our group, financially speaking. He's self-employed, so he has no steady income and he earns substantially less than either flatmate no. 2 or me. Staying with us (or one of us) was his best (if not only) chance to find a decent place to live without leaving the city altogether. And his inertness aside, he's a very sweet guy.

Flatmate no. 1 is also the one who "took me in" four years ago against at least some objections of our then flatmate when I was desperately searching for a place to live. I was pursuing a translator's degree which meant that I had no income (it actually cost money every month) and was living off my savings. I had been searching for six months at that point (and been in school for the last four). I had been crashing on friends' and relatives' couches in other cities for some time and finally resorted to moving in back home and commuting 250 miles each day (that's 400 km in roman-catholic). I know that it wasn't pure altruism on his part, of course first and foremost he just wanted someone to pay part of the rent before it would fall to him and his other flatmate. But in the end it was his decision and advocacy that got me my home for the last four years (and an obscenely cheap one at that).

I just told him, that I'll be moving into a new two-room apartment with flatmate no. 2.

I feel like a piece of shit.

Scheiße :(

Easy solution,make room for 3.....

Unfortunately I flunked "Create room from thin air 101" in Hogwarts.

Ask help from your parents. It's their duty to make your life better.

Sounds like a typical Berlin story.

Unless he's kin, you have no obligations towards him . He should take care of himself .

Once upon a time, I got done the same way. Flatmate skipped on me and left me holding the bag.

I got over it.

Floor plans and square footage matter. I spent a summer living in a shared house where my "room" was part of the living room cordoned off by a hung curtain, and most of the other women in the house shared bedrooms, though I think one paid extra to have her own.

That said, even if you could carve out a spot and make the space work, you'd have to look at whether the lease allowed it, plus any ancillary issues (parking spots?).

If it helps, I had a similar situation in college. I was tasked with finding a room for 3 of us, with the other 2 both overseas at the time studying. Unfortunately, there were no spots available when a decision that needed to be made, so I paired off with the one I was closer to and the 3rd got stuck living alone. Bad feelings were had.

But several decades later, I'm actually reasonably good friends with the one we cast off, and not in touch at all with the person I lived with. So you never know what the long term will bring.

If you really feel bad, you can put it in their court to find an alternative arrangement ASAP, but if you're in a really tight housing market (Boston/SF etc), realistically you may just have to take what you can get and then do what you can to mend the relationship if it's important to you. Perhaps use your social connections to help them find a new roommate who might have an even better place?

The less roommates the better. See Shallow Grave...

None of these options work.

My room is a decent size but a) not enough to support two people, with one being a self-employed home office worker working night-shift most of the time and the other having to get up at 6.20 in the morning, b) provide enough space for two full sets of furniture and c) allow daylight for both parties.

In fact all of our daily routines are vastly different, so prolonged roomsharing is off the table.

Crashing for some time? Yes. Permanent living arrangement? Impossible.

And of course there's the lease... Of course I'll keep looking for suitable apartments for him. I'm even thinking about still paying my share of the electricity bill after I've moved out, because he probably can't get out of the contract before he moves out too.

Flatmate no.1, you're fired!!

Believe you me, Berlin ain't got shit on Frankfurt. Average rent here is about 50% higher.

And that little story about searching for a place to live for half a freaking year? Things have only grown worse since...

I searched for 6 months and got a pretty good deal with 300€ for 29m², by now I'd have to pay about 360€ at a "good" deal.
Can Frankfurt be any worse? Especcially considering, that the wage in the east is usually about 30% lower and the unemployment rate much higher?
Don't underestimate how things in Berlin have developed in the last years thanks to the Stuttgarter Invasion.

Well shit happens, now you can only try to help him find a place for himself and/or a better job maybe.