It seems that you're using an outdated browser. Some things may not work as they should (or don't work at all).
We suggest you upgrade newer and better browser like: Chrome, Firefox, Internet Explorer or Opera

GamezRanker: Thanks for the nice gesture you did by JAHing cadaver's govvt awhile back and whatnot.....was a nice gesture, I thought.
Good game everyone. Thank you to all and specially to Micro for the hard mod work and Zeogold for the amazing writings. I can't wait to read the closing chapter of the Yard move story.

With that said, I think it's a testament to their maturity that the fascists didn't give up halfway or complain even once. Even if all of their problems were caused by bad luck rather than any other player.

The fascists had to fight against terrible seats, an unhelpful deck (that gave 2 L to their only president in the first shuffle and had FF in the hidden last 2 positions), and if that was not enough fascists were also plagued by personal issues that made them unavailable, plus Lift's illness. It just doesn't matter how good they are as players, it's just impossible to win under these circumstances.

They were also incredibly unlucky with Cadaver's investigation: he had to report me liberal, else hitler would be locked out of the office forever. I think the only time there was a chance they could foster doubt is when Pooka reported having received LLF. Unfortunately it was too early for him to tell if the libcred the truth was going to give him would be worth the extra confirmation I received with it.

Unfortunately, our match highlighted how uneven a game of SH can be. I'm sorry guys.

This is a game I wanted to join for years and now that I did, halfway through the game I'm agreeing with ZFR that I don't think I will ever play it here again. Much as I like my fellow players I have to admit that the webforum platform, and Gog's forum software specially, simply sucks for SH.
Post edited April 04, 2022 by joppo
low rated
dedoporno: :)
Expanding a bit further: I also liked your explanation/etc of playing in a way where everyone can have fun, and not just to win(it's actually a big part of how I try to play as well).

Btw: in part because of your actions/words and those of some others, I decided to Jah the final govvt......I felt y'all Liberals deserved it, and didn't want to bother prolonging your (imo likely) inevitable win (by trying for topdeck/etc) :)


joppo: With that said, I think it's a testament to their maturity that the fascists didn't give up halfway or complain even once. Even if all of their problems were caused by bad luck.
Tbth I did silently curse our poor luck quite a few times to myself, and also IRL kept me somewhat busy(even from complaining/etc). That said, I still tried to keep up some level of decorum(correct term?)/optimism while playing. :)

joppo: This is a game I wanted to join for years and now that I did, halfway through the game I'm agreeing with ZFR that I don't think I will ever play it here again. Much as I like my fellow players the webforum platform, and Gog's forum software specially, simply sucks for SH.
The next game, from what I hear tell, promises to be quicker paced.
If ya or anyone else wanna at least watch it, then go here for the signup thread
Post edited April 03, 2022 by GamezRanker
Lestrade is at the edge of his seat waiting for the final policy to be signed so everyone can go home. Pike is feeding off the excitement as Scené begins nailbiting (much to the dismay of Lord Leodtner, whose nails are being bitten). Dr. Joppo has appointed Inspector Pike as his foreman, and Wilson has brought the necessary papers. As the two of them mutter to each other in a confused hush, looking at the document in front of them while scratching their heads, a clamor suddenly arises.
"I've had quite enough of this foolishness," says Dr. Cadaver, standing up and angrily glaring at the two. "If we had done things MY way, we would have done this methodically and efficiently. But no, we insist on dragging and griping through every little thing. How long are we going to trust this Sholmes fellow/"
Everyone is conflicted. It's highly unusual to interrupt a policy signing like this, but they all agree in their dislike of Sholmes' horribly slow method.
"Hear, hear!" cries Inspector Gregson. "It's about time we had some order!"
"I reckon 'es right," grumbles Pooky. "I ask you, 'ow are we supposed to get anything done like this?"
"The Lord looks favorably upon a well-mannered congregation," agrees Father Brettooth.
The other 6 at the table are not in favor of this.
"UPSTARTS!" roars Lord Leodtner. "Who put YOU in charge?! We have equal votes here, and we outnumber-"
"Actually, I think it's about time I had my vote," interrupts Lestrade. "The good doctor is right - I've had just about enough of this myself! I say we go with his method like we were doing before!"
"Oh, let him have his way," sighs Sholmes, dejectedly. "Nothing I do ever goes right. I ain't cut out for this. Advenures...pheh. I oughtta go home and go do a jigsaw puzzle or something."
"But that is an even count!" objects Rumbatcholous. "6 votes each way!"
A supporting hand is laid on the shoulders of Sholmes. To the great surprise of the room, the one unheard voice speaks up:
"Let Dr. Cadaver have his way," says Wilson. "Give him the policy."
"But-" begins Pike, before Wilson cuts him off.
"You heard me, Inspector. Give the good doctor the policy and have him sign on the line so we can proceed."
Joppo gives a wide grin, winks, and slides the paper over to Dr. Cadaver, who signs it right away without looking.
"File that away, Wilson. This has been signed as an act of trust to our friends Dr. Joppo and Inspector Pike. Now, if you will be so kind as to-"
"I don't believe I will be so kind, Professor," says Wilson.
Everyone stares at Wilson as he unfolds the paper to reveal the scandalous words written upon it:

"I, Professor Moriarty, of sound mind and body, do solemnly declare that I have taken on this disguise and organized this whole ordeal to threaten the welfare of the good people of London and run my criminal enterprise undercover.
Signed, DR. CADAVER"

"Wilson, what is the meaning of this?" asks Lestrade.
"It's quite simple," chuckles Wilson. "Our friend Sholmes has been having me hand out all the paperwork. Do you really think that these policies are drafted by the gentlemen at this table? No, I merely wanted to see how far Moriarty would carry his little game. I wanted to see whether some of his unsavory companions would abandon him, such as the good 'Rasil Bathbone', who seems to have developed a spine."
"Wait a minute, do you mean you've been orchestrating this whole thing?" asks Sholmes.
"Of course! Why do you think not a single mole has signed anything save for one time when I simply fed one of them a liberal policy that he couldn't possibly get past..."
Pooky begins to shake with rage.
"...and the other only investigation options, not giving them the opportunity to hide away any of the more liberal documents I had prepared?"
Gregson looks furious. Dr. Cadaver frowns.
"I had a feeling you might get the idea of stealing this particular policy away right about now," says Wilson. "I'm afraid you've signed your own confession, Professor Moriarty!"
The entire table gasps. Pike practically falls out of his seat in sheer glee at the ongoing drama.
"So, it appears you've seen through me, Wilson," speaks the glowering Moriarty, no longer pretending to be a doctor. "Very clever. It appears I underestimated you all these years, I see now why the great Sholmes has you as his companion. Nevertheless, it is already too late. I would strongly advise none of you move, lest our friend the Colonel fire upon you."
Inspector Gregson has stood up and drawn a pistol, pointing it at Sholmes.
"Why ME!?" complains Sholmes.
"Shut up!" barks the unmistakable voice of Colonel Moran, having only pretended to be Gregson this entire time.
"As it seems this is a time of introductions," says Moriarty, "allow me to introduce you to my other companions: our friend Holy Peter..."
Father Brettooth stands up and joins Moriarty's side.
"...and, all the way from France, the cunning Arsène Lupin."
Pooky Johnson loses all of his previous gruff demeanor and stands up to an almost alarming gaunt height, his stockiness being but an act of his clothes and how he carried himself.
"Now, Mr. Wilson, if you will be so kind as to hand over the rest of those papers before your companion wets himself?"
"Don't worry about me," pipes up Sholmes. "I'm kinda used to this sort of thing by now. Usually something stupid happens right before I'm supposed to die."
"No need for that," smirks Wilson. "Simply move three inches to your right."
"DON'T YOU MOVE A MUSCLE!" yells Colonel Moran.
"Do it," instructs Wilson.
"Well, it IS someting stupid, so what the heck?" says Sholmes as he ducks to his right. Moran fires, the bullet barely going over Sholmes' shoulder.
"Lestrade, if you'll be so kind as to grab the gun from the Colonel while he's distracted by Sholmes going for his legs?"
"What the devil are you-"
Before Moran can finish his statement, Sholmes dives for his legs and topples him off-balance as he fires into the air just before Lestrade grabs away his gun and restrains him.
"Impossible! How did you do that?!" fumes Moriarty.
"It's simple," chuckles Wilson. "I listen to the cows. They know a lot more than you give credit for."
"I'm a cow psychic."
"What does that even mean?!"
"I told you!" says Sholmes. "It's always something stupid!"
"Captain Sapphire, Inspector Pike, get a hold of Moriarty and Peter. Lupin..." Wilson's eyes narrow. " somebody who I'm afraid won't be able to be detained. But we might be seeing each other again someday."
Within the span of a few moments, Moriarty and Holy Peter are pinned to the table. True to the words of Wilson, Lupin has evaded the grasp of everyone else (none of whom are trained in the apprehension of criminals) and slips outside. The station is searched thoroughly, but he's completely disappeared.

The next day, Lestrade enjoys a cup of hard-earned tea with Yourcroft.
"It's excellent to see you, my dear Lestrade. I suppose my brother was adequate to sort things out?"
"I say, it's a fine thing we had that Wilson with us! I never reckoned he was a cow psychic."
"I'm sorry Inspector, I don't believe I heard you correctly. He was what?"
Before the conversation can continue, the door to the station slams open. In the doorway stands a very displeased couple of men.
"Well, there are the men of the hour now! Sholmes, Wilson, tell us all about the secret of the cows!"
"What, the cows in Switzerland?" asks Wilson. "They simply stood there and lowed at us as we pulled ourselves out of the river those boors knocked us into!"
Sholmes tugs at his chin and silently instructs Wilson to begin writing.
"Lestrade, perhaps you could tell us about the cows. I do believe the events of last night will make for quite an interesting adventure story."
"Why," balks Lestrade, "don't you remember? You were both there!"
Sholmes and Wilson look at each other silently.
"Certainly, Inspector," says Sholmes, slowly. "Just...tell it from the beginning for my brother. I'd love to hear about it."

And now, time to follow up with one of my trademark oversized post-game wrap-ups!
This was quite a game to watch from the sidelines. I didn't really follow it too closely, I'll admit, but I was shocked when I walked to Micro and found out that somehow the libs managed a near-complete shutout - only two governments ever with a fascist in them, and one of them was a forced L play (poor Pooka drawing FLL) and the other being an FFF draw (making it impossible to bury anything). Not a single lie was told all game, right down to the investigations. So, naturally, the only explanation was cows. Psychic cows. I did promise you guys that you'd learn what the legend of the cows is. Want more details? Play the next game somebody suckers me into getting involved with!

From this point onwards, I'm gonna dump all the lore DMs I sent to people, as well as explain different parts of why stuff happened in the story. Fun fact: Each character is based off of either Holmes lore or the name of an actor who played Holmes. How many did you manage to figure out?
Post edited April 03, 2022 by zeogold
This might come out weird. I'm trying to post and the forum is eating my posts alive.

I decided to carry on the plot from the last game because I was really hoping I could re-use Pooka's character again as well as the "Captain Sapphire" thing with Joe. But I figured, no, that would be too ridiculous, no way Pooka would end up fascist again and Joe liberal again.
And then that's exactly what happened.
I didn't have as much fun with Joe's character as I would've liked, but I went overboard with Pooka's again, putting basically all the game's backstory with him. In case you're wondering what happened to the fake "Sholmes and Wilson" at the end, we can assume they took Puzzle-Bot back to their appropriate time, perhaps the only instance of any of the Puzzlemaster's time-travel shenanigans working out halfway decently. The Pooka has presumably stowed away on Dr. Joppo's time machine, and who knows where he'll end up next?

Dr. Joppo
I had no good pun to work out of Joppo's name, but then Micro's joke in the signup thread about gummi bears gave me an idea - the 4th Doctor from Doctor Who loved jelly babies. And the actor, Tom Baker, once played Sherlock Holmes. Good enough for me.

Who are you, some ask? Yes, you reply, chuckling at your own joke. You're the indomitable Dr. Joppo! Always ready with a cheerful word and a gummi bear to offer someone, you're a time traveler who goes about in your port-a-potty (that's bigger on the inside than it is on the outside) sorting out problems! Today, you've decide to help solve this predicament of Scotland Yard making its transfer. You don't remember the historical record originally having anything to do with a Moriarty. And you also feel like you don't remember flushing....surely you didn't have a stowaway, right?

The flavor from Joppo's investigation of Dedo:

You scan your eyes across the room, twiddling with your scarf nervously. Who here seems the most suspicious? There's a thug, a banker, some inspectors, a medical doctor, a- but what's this?! Inspector Pike is the only one languidly staring off into the distance! The only one who never even considered the wholesomeness of the gummi bears that you SPECIFICALLY laid out to aid the decision-making process!
You leap to your feet, run off to his side of the table, and pull him up and off to the interrogation room.
"Dear me. Such manhandling. Are you quite alri-"
"CONFESS!" you scream. "WAS IT YOU?!"
Pike immediately breaks down into sobs, collapsing over the back of his chair.
"I KNEW IT!" you excitedly yell, having no clue what he's talking about. But clearly if he doesn't know the historical truth about The Great Mustache Incident of 1901 that was to follow New Scotland Yard thanks to his published papers, as only a time traveler would know, then he ISN'T your man - just like you knew!
"Right, then!" you say, pulling out your sonic screwdriver.
Pike's eyes widen and he looks to you with varying glares of excitement and confusion before you press the button and shine it right into his eyes. He blinks for a few moments before coming to again.
"...I say, where am I?"
"You were going to destroy a paper you have about Lestrade's mustache. Gummi bear?"
He confusedly accepts a gummi bear from you as the both of you return to the meeting room.

Inspector Pike
Dedo's character I based off of Langdale Pike, the incessant gossipmonger who writes for the "garbage papers" in a Holmes story.

Oh, how dreadfully dull. Just when there was enough excitement to spook a stablehorse (meaning the promise of gossip to last for weeks!), you get called into this miserable meeting. Why, there's nobody here of any true social status (save for maybe Lord Maxwell, and everyone knows that he's such a terrible bore!) that one could say anything about! What ever will you write in the societies column?! Oh, well. At least it'll be more interesting than dusty old paperwork.

Dedo's flavor for when he was investigated by Joppo;

You stare off languidly into the distance. You've begun to daydream after remembering the paper you have at home about Lestrade's mustache that you plan to publish in the gossip column. Sure, it's a bit exaggerated - perhaps more than a bit - but it sells papers. In fact, you could also throw in that juicy rumor about-
Before you know what's happened, you've been yanked out of your seat and rapidly walked towards the interrogation room. Snapping out of your reverie, you come back to your senses and see the grinning Doctor Joppo staring you down.
"CONFESS!" he screams. You have no idea how he's read your mind, but you immediately break down and admit everything. The rumor you made up about Lestrade's mustache. The time you spiked the hookah at the club on St. James Street. How you took your little cousin's doll when she was 4, fed it to one of the pigs at the market in Oxford Circle, brought it back, told her it was destroyed by Spring-Heeled Jack. And she believed you.
Through your tears, you suddenly notice that Dr. Joppo seems to have barely heard half of what you were saying. Instead, he keeps staring at a small, thin device that looks something like a screwdriver. It gives off a strange light that shines into your eyes and

You blink your eyes several times and notice that you're at the meeting table at Scotland Yard. A strange clamor is going up and a man in a filthy deerstalker proclaims you to be "superintendent". After a few moments, you remember what's going on: You were supposed to be making decisions on New Scotland Yard! Oh, and you're supposed to trash that column you wrote about Lestrade's mustache. You can't remember why, though.
Post edited April 03, 2022 by zeogold
Zenedict F. Rumbatchoulous
I feel like I just make poor ZFR's character's name longer and stupider every time he's in a game I'm writing the flavor for. His name is a reference to Benedict Cumberbatch, the only man to play Sherlock Holmes to have a dumber name than "Sherlock Holmes".

You are the meticulous Zenedict F. Rumbatchoulous. You had decades of successful banking in your homeland of Greece before immigrating to London for family reasons, but your reputation came with you and it wasn't long before you were working for the Yard to oversee all of their funds. There's no detail you'll leave unexamined in finding the moles in this business!

Lord Leodtner
The name's a reference to Arthur Wontner. Who played Sherlock Holmes. Yeah, this pun was a bit of a stretch, but I don't have much to work with here.

You are the impeccable Lord Maxwell A. Leodtner, working for Her Majesty's government. In truth, this whole business of the Yard is actually somewhat beneath your normal position, but London's police force must be preserved from corruption if the British Empire is to upkeep its respectable position on the world stage. You're a bit insulted at the very implication that you could be part of that dastardly Moriarty's gang, but, you suppose, sometimes such insinuations are necessary before arriving at the truth.

Captain Joe "Sapphire" Wiggins
I wanted to do so much more with this character, but alas. This reference was kind of subtle since I only mentioned the name Wiggins once, but this is indeed a reference to the leader of the Baker Street Irregulars.

You're the cheerful Captain Sapphire, friend of the people! You got the nickname after a jewel robbery you solved (during the process of which you saved a baby and two cats) and it's stuck ever since! Who knows, maybe it'll live on long enough that your great-grandchildren will be talking about it? For now, you're dedicated to helping however you can - you're not above the dirty work in spite of your status and you're certainly no slouch when it comes to tense administrative affairs such as this one.

Scené du Paget
This is a reference to Sidney Paget, the original illustrator of the Holmes novels.

Why, it's your old friend Dr. Wilson! You've been illustrating his published adventures of Sholmes and him for years now. Perhaps he'll write up a little something about today's events as well! You've always been drawing these things (and of course drawing crime scenes for the Yard), but this? Seeing Sholmes work in the flesh? With Moriarty in the room, no less? And you as part of the story? This will truly be an eventful day!

J. C. "Dr. Cadaver" Meeks
This is a reference to Sir Jasper Meeks (the C standing for "Cadaver" in this case), a character from the Consulting Detective series of games based on Holmes lore.

You've been working at this for months. Nay, years. Slowly spinning your web, drawing the net ever tighter, imperceptibly. You spent so long building up this fake identity, worming your way into the most trusted circles of London. Of course, there is a real J. C. Meeks, but the blackmail sent to his family should be sufficient to keep him away for a while. Few people ever bother to memorize the face of the mortician, so you managed to easily slip in with a minimal disguise. That fool Sholmes has failed to realize he's never been more than an annoying fly, to be swatted away before returning to work. He's interfered with countless small affairs, but never did he dream you were aiming for the Yard this entire time. This would have gone smoothly if not for the rotten luck at the Diogenes club, but no matter. You can finish it here. All you need to do is ensure that you sign through a policy that will allow you to take control before anyone realizes what's going on. And your three flunkies will help you with that.
Where are those buffoons? They were supposed to use their preappointed disguises, but you don't recognize a single one of these people! Did they change plans at the last moment?
No matter. This will be child's play for Professor Moriarty.

Rasil Bathbone
A reference to Basil Rathbone, a Holmes actor who was known for starring in swashbuckling adventure/romance films.

You can't believe you let Grimsby talk you into this one. His plan was insane. Time machines? Well, sure, you seem to remember something of the sort a long time ago, involving...cows? You can barely remember. Sacking the Puzzlemaster? Certainly, that's an understandable goal after he conned you and everyone else, but everything's moved so fast that it's made your head spin.
You try your best to remember what happened. Grimsby Mustard contacted you out of nowhere, about two years after that failed "starmaker" gimmick. He said he wanted revenge, but needed your help since your work with digital music has made your digital voice modification technology second to none. You showed up at the appointed location only to find a port-a-potty. He went inside, beckoned you to follow, and, to your great bewilderment, you somehow managed to fit in. It felt far bigger on the inside than on the outside, but terribly dark. And then, several minutes of silence later, everything began to lurch and creak and spin...
When you came out, you were on the streets of 19th-century London. Nothing made sense, but Grimsby took you by the wrist and led you quickly through the streets. Ducking into an alley, he told you the plan - to use your acting skills to replace two criminals in a plot, he being an "Arsene Lupin", a jewel thief that none know the face of, and you being a "Holy Peter", a con artist who works as a master of disguise. The plot was by a Professor Moriarty to take over the Yard, and Grimsby was convinced he could trick the second-in-command, Colonel Moran. After inserting yourselves in, you'd demand the Crown Jewels as payment, take them back to the present day, and live like kings. Still confused but now in too deep to back out, you did as he asked, got the voice frequencies right, and attached an imperceptible microphone and speaker to the both of you. Donning your respective disguises (themselves being disguises of your disguises - the both of you pretending to be the criminals to Moran and Moriarty, and pretending to be respectable citizens to the Yard), you entered the Yard - only to find yourself plunged into chaos.
And now here you are. Dragged in to this meeting because of course the both of you look suspicious as two faces barely anybody at the Yard recognizes. Whatever. Maybe the Pooka's got something here. After all, the Puzzlemaster did show up. And that fellow you recognize from before with the flannel shirt, now in the dress of an English gentleman. And there's Moriarty, just like he said. Although he doesn't seem to - ah, right. Of course he doesn't recognize you, you don't have the faces he's expecting. And over there is Moran, who...somehow does seem to recognize the both of you? What's going on?
Oh, whatever. If the two of you and Moran can get Moriarty into power, those jewels are as good as yours. Stardom is a whole lot easier with money on your side.

After Lifthrasil had to leave the game, I gave his character this send-off (which should hopefully discouarge me from trying to dig up the "Liftin' Rasil" character again and force me to come up with something original for once):

You can't take it. It's finally hitting you - you ACTUALLY traveled through time. It's all so sudden. Your head is reeling. You don't want to be here. The Pooka is out of his mind with this crazy plan.
Suddenly, you see your opportunity: Joppo's going to...the "loo"? His time machine? It's in the building?! You sweat, wondering if this is your chance before you finally break down and leap into a run. True enough, his port-a-potty is just around the corner and you dive into it right before the door closes. Hiding out in your corner again, the room swirls as the machine ventures through time...
...eventually, after everything stops making noise and the doctor exits, you cautiously step outside. Everything bright! Lights everywhere! Digital signs and holograms in the air! Flying cars and tall buildings! You can see the scarf-wearing doctor head into what seems to be a corner store, but who cares?! You're in the future!
As you walk around in awe, your eyes eventually land on an advertisement on a glowing billboard. They're in need of...a digital musician?

Many weeks later, you brace yourself. You're nervous, but you're excited. It's your first big day. You already proved yourself to the manager and now you're at your first gig. The announcer calls your name. The digital curtain fades away.
"Please welcome Liftin' Rasil..."
The crowd cheers for you as you step up to the DJ table. Finally they know your name. Finally they know YOU and not just the animated "band". Although you haven't gotten rid of them...
"...and the Raisin' Hell band!"
The holographic characters show up by your side.
Oh, yeah. You're ready.
Post edited April 03, 2022 by zeogold

Ignore this quote, it's here because for some reason I can't post without including it.
Father Jeremy Brettooth
A reference to Jeremy Brett, another Holmes actor. Holy Peter was a minor Holmes villain who shows up in one of the stories.

You are known by many names. The most recent one? Father Brettooth. Oh, yes, they always love the "Father" bit. Everyone trusts a priest. That's why in the underworld, they call you "Holy" Peter. Moriarty instructed you to be here much earlier, but you'd been caught (a rarity for you) and finally thrown in jail - kept right here in the Yard, no less! They never suspected who you were, thinking that this time you were a greengrocer, but somehow, by sheer luck, the guard left as a terrible commotion went up outside, apparently shouting about a search for someone. Taking the opportunity, you picked the lock with the hairpin you had hidden on you and ran out to the street. Wasting no time, you returned to a hideout where you kept your priestly garments, put them on, and returned as "Father Brettooth". Classic.
That being said, Moriarty probably won't recognize you. You were supposed to show up as...well, a greengrocer. But what can you say? Plans change. At least you recognize everyone else in their respective positions - Moriarty as the doctor as was prearranged, Lupin as "Pooky", and Moran as Gregson. Lupin and Moran should recognize your face. This will be fine.

G. R. Gregson
A reference to Inspector Tobias Gregson, a character whom Holmes refers to as the smartest in Scotland Yard.

You've been planning this with Moriarty for months, now. Nobody realized your "natural" shooting skills came from your time in the army, your deductive powers coming from how much you know about the underworld - you simply arrested anybody who was rivalling your criminal network. You worked your way up through the ranks of the police force until at last you were so good at your job that even Sholmes himself declared you the smartest of the Yard. Ha! If only he knew that you were the same man he fought with! He may have bested you before, but not again. As for Moriarty? He won't be double-crossing you again, either. Not after this. You've got everything set up just right. You were supposed to go under a different identity, but you've been lying to him this entire time. Just look at the old dotard. He's so confused. This time, you're going to come out on top. Oh, sure, you'll make sure he gets his position of power just like you planned, and you'll have Holy Peter and Arsene Lupin to help you (as part of the plan, you helped them cultivate disguises unknown to Moriarty as well - just to give them a way out as well, which should protect you from either of them ratting you out). But once you get the money, you'll simply vanish from London, far from where the tentacles of Moriarty can reach, and live the rest of your life in comfort. And perhaps get your revenge later, if need be.
Nobody gets one over on Colonel Moran.

Similar to having to explain why the Pooka reacted so calmly to the swap of teammate, I wrote up this:

Blast it! Where did that Peter get off to?! Why in the world is he running off? And HOW did he manage to slip away?! This throws the plan into jeopardy.
...or at least, so you think until a man walks in who you're absolutely positive is Holy Peter. It has to be. You recognize his face. You're utterly baffled as to his actions. He left to go change into a new disguise? What sort of bizarre scheme is this?
He tips you a conspiratorial nod. It's definitely him. No matter; every criminal has their own agenda in the end, you suppose. This will stop nothing.
Post edited April 03, 2022 by zeogold
Shinwell "Pooky" Johnson
Based off of a minor character from the pen of Doyle, Shinwell "Porky" Johnson. Former criminal turned into an informant and a muscleman for Holmes. As usual, I went overkill on Pooka's character. Lupin is a gentleman thief from the stories by Maurice Leblanc, but Leblanc wrote an infamous work of fanfiction where Lupin and Holmes meet - whereupon he got sued by Doyle and was forced to rename Holmes to "Sholmes" (and later "Shears") and Watson to "Wilson".

2 years after getting conned out of your stardom, the resentment is still fresh, your anger still bitter. You were so close, yet here you are, still in the same place you started. There was no way you could return to the old "Pooka" gig when deep down, all you've ever wanted is to perform Shakespeare like you were born to do. In your spare time between plain old customer service jobs you were forced to take to keep the lights on, you continued to plunge yourself back into reading history. You read book after book, imagining yourself in a better era, back when people actually appreciated true actors - when, one day, you come across it. You idly picked up a tired old tome of adventure stories while browsing a bookstore and one of them caught your eye. Even though it cost you next week's rent, you threw the rest of your funds at the cashier - you had to have this book.
Rushing back to your apartment, you scan the pages with eager anticipation. Could it be...? Yes! Yes, it really is! This "Legend of the Cows" story in the Herlock Sholmes collection isn't just a story! It's an eyewitness account! The events far too precisely match the facts of that documentary you watched last night about the moving of Scotland Yard to its new location in 1890! This "Wilson" person wrote down the actual proceedings of the move, what happened on the inside!
According to the story, the brilliant Herlock Sholmes uncovered a plot where Moriarty infiltrated Scotland Yard with the help of his right-hand man, Colonel Moran, a disguise expert, Holy Peter, and the French master thief Arsene Lupin. It was one of Sholmes' hardest cases and he almost didn't catch Moriarty in time - Moriarty may have well succeeded if not for the fact that Holy Peter had been taken to jail just days before and Arsene Lupin had double-crossed Moriarty, instead taking the opportunity to try to steal the Crown Jewels (which he failed at due to Sholmes quickly sorting out the mystery of the Yard.
But...hadn't you just seen an ad in the paper last week? "Wanted: Companion willing to travel in time. Probably headed to late 1800s London. Must not be afraid of death, nausea, or other bodily discomfort. Lawyers prohibited. See Puzzlemaster, at Puzzlemaster's Mansion for more details."
The ad that had gotten your blood boiling. There you were, looking for work, and he's traipsing around, wheeling off on fun adventures with no regard for life or limb of anyone. Yet...perhaps this could be a chance.
Maybe, just maybe, you could sneak into the Puzzlemaster's Mansion and interfere with his plans. You made your way there with what little change you had to catch a bus, only to find the front door locked and a sign on the lawn:
You groan at seeing yet another one of his ridiculous schemes, but you decide perhaps it's better to hide somewhere and wait for him to leave. After this, you could sneak in and-
"Pardon me!"
A man with shaggy hair and a long scarf trailing down both sides of his front taps you on the shoulder and, after you step aside, walks past you to the door. He pulls the rope to ring the doorbell and, while waiting for an answer, smiles at you and adjusts his hat.
"Never seen you before. You from the Gothic period, mate? 12th century?"
Before you can answer, the Puzzlemaster opens the door. You quickly turn the corner and watch from a distance, safely out of sight.
"'Ello! Here for the time traveler's convention!"
"What? The convention? Can't you read the sign, dude? Closed. We're prepping for yesterday."
"Yesterday? Am I late? Oh, bugger. Can't you just let me in?"
"What? Let you in? Of course not! You're not a real time traveler, otherwise you'd have gotten here yesterday! And nobody showed up!"
"I think I read the invitation wrong. Terribly sorry. But I'm here now!"
"I don't send the invitations out until tomorrow!"
"Oh, come on, lad. Be a good sport and let me in, my bunions have bunions by now, trekking all about through time. I could use a rest. Gummi bear?"
"I don't want any candy, I want some proof you're a time traveler!"
"Look, don't you worry about it, mate. Tell you what, I'll come back tomorrow and both of us can check the invitation date, then we'll see who's right - I could help you set it to yesterday. I'll just pop back in the ol' time machine..."
He jerks a thumb at a box on the sidewalk.
"The port-a-potty?! THAT's your time machine?!"
"What, you think it's less respectable than your crummy robot?"
You barely believe what you're hearing, but with the Puzzlemaster, you're willing to believe anything at this point. You slink over to the port-a-potty while neither of them is looking and peer inside. It's a bit dark, but you keep entering, and keep entering, and...keep...entering? This is impossible! It's far bigger on the inside than it is on the outside! You can barely make out what's going on in the darkness, but you feel like you see a flush lever and small, gently blinking gizmos.
You hear a muffled shout of argument and you quickly rush back outside, once again getting yourself out of view.
"Fine, then! Tell you what, I'll not just correct your invitation, I'll just go straight to olde London myself, like-see? I'll beat you there tomorrow!"
"Try it, ya crumbum! We'll see who makes it first!"
The door closes and the man huffs back to his port-a-potty, enters, and a moment later, it fades from view before your very eyes!
As startling as all of this is, you immediately think of a plan...
A few hours later, you set the phone down. Perfect. The rest wrote you off as a bitter madman, but Liftin' Rasil is just as angry as you are and agreed to go along with it. You know your voice is good enough to mimic any English drama, especially from the Victorian era or the Elizabethan period, but Rasil? Low chance. Fortunately, he has just enough digital skills that he can put together a couple of voice synthesizers (really only he needs it, but you told him to make two just so he feels better - after all, he's no actor like you are). With enough makeup and costuming, he'll be just right. You looked up the records of the proceedings to see who was present and read through the story to see who the moles were - a "Pooky" Shinwell and a "Rasil Bathbone". The namesakes should be just enough to ensure that Rasil won't ruin the whole thing by using the wrong names. This plan requires everything to be just right.
The next day, you're hiding out across the street from the Puzzlemaster's Mansion. Rasil is running late. This isn't good. The port-a-potty shows up again, and the man from inside it exits, goes to the front door, and summons the Puzzlemaster once more. The both of them begin to get into an argument.
"Alright! You know the rules! First one to 1890 wins!"
"No cheating, either! No slicking the outside of the time gizmo! No gummi bears in the gears!"
"I'm a fair player!"
"I can't trust that!"
"You'll see!"
"Oh, and this Fish dude or whatever his name is will be coming with me."
"Fish? What, like a haddock?"
"No, no, I mean..."
Finally. Rasil is walking up to you. It took forever. There's not a moment to waste! You grab his wrist and lead him to the port-a-potty.

"What are you…?"
"No time! Get in!"
He follows you inside and you feel around in the darkness. You blindly bump into gizmos and machines, knocking over mechanisms, but eventually you find an nice corner to hide in. And wait.
After a short time, the man returns. He turns on the lights, presses some buttons, pulls some levers, turns some wheels, and presses down a flush handle. The whole thing lurches and creaks and the room feels like it's spinning. After an amount of time you can't determine, the whole thing settles down and he cheerfully exits. Still with a firm grip on Rasil's wrist, you lead him outside. Sure enough, both of you step into the cobblestoned streets of London, 1890.
"No time!" you hiss. "Quickly!"
You lead Rasil into an alley and rush an explanation as fast as you can. It's clearly all over his head, but it doesn't matter. You won't need him by the end anyways. You tell him that this is all a part of a revenge plot on the Puzzlemaster (though you haven't explained how), and that he'll pretend to be Holy Peter (disguised as Rasil Bathbone) while you pretend to be Arsene Lupin (disguised as Pooky Shinwell). The both of you, with the help of Colonel Moran (disguised as Inspector G. R. Gregson) will make Moriarty (disguised as Jasper "Dr Cadaver" Meeks) head of the Yard with the both of you in extremely high positions of authority. With the Yard at your command, you'll easily steal the Crown Jewels that the real Lupin couldn't get, return home, and be rich for the rest of your lives. You slip your disguise on that you brought in your bag from a costume shop, both of you affix your microphones and imperceptible speakers, you give him quick instruction about posture and diction, and the both of you are off.
You arrive at the Yard and-
No! No, this isn't how it happened! What's going on? There's a council being called to find 4 moles in the Yard? And naturally you and Rasil have been hauled in, being faces barely anyone recognizes even if they recognize the names (Bathbone was a low-level inspector and Shinwell was an underground informant, neither of which would be particularly known). You sit at the table as Rasil glares at you.
Post edited April 03, 2022 by zeogold
[This is continued from my previous post. I have struggled with getting the forum to work with half of any of my posts for around 2 hours now. Sorry it's so weird and has everybody out of order, but this forum is just completely broken and won't let met do anything.]

You keep up the act as the tough ex-con now giving information to the good guys as Rasil faithfully maintains his front as a handsome sport, but this situation is awful.
...oh, no. Is that...the man from the port-a-potty? And...the Puzzlemaster?!
Keep calm. Keep calm. You'll get through this. You've been given a part. The curtain is up. And now it's time to play the performance beautifully. Thankfully that buffoon Puzzlemaster has cooked up a scheme eerily similar to his starmaker idea - you got through it once before, you can do it again.
It doesn't matter how long it takes or what it takes. This time, you're going to be a star.

To throw in some flavor explaining why the Pooka would act so calm about a known person on his team being swapped out (Moriarty wouldn't react since he has no clue who his team is), I wrote up this:

That wimp Rasil finally cracked. "Raisin' Hell", huh? More like raising cowardice! He wasn't as reliable as you first thought and now he's run off to the time machine. Great. Just great. Now what are you going to-, but it can't be! Holy Peter?! But you remember reading about him in the history book! He was in jail! He couldn't make it to the-
OF COURSE! He was kept in one of the temporary cells right here at the Yard! He must have gotten loose during the commotion! He slipped you a conspiratorial nod, he must be continuing the plot. Well, then! On with the plan!

Thanks for playing, everyone! And thanks to Micro for having me here to write more nonsense.
Post edited April 03, 2022 by zeogold
THANK YOU, ZEOGOLD, for writing the wonderful flavor!

Truly, y'all did not want to suffer through my half-baked stories of Big Ben falling down, etc. :D
zeogold: Thanks for playing, everyone! And thanks to Micro for having me here to write more nonsense.
Thanks for the fun and well-written story. It was good to have you back, if only for a while.
Oh damn, my flavor is the most fun to read. It's a shame most people got a paragraph or two in contrast :)

I realize I'm several days late but congrats to the libs. Yeah, this game is definitely my worst but I'd blame it more on us fascists having no idea how to make the best of the situation. That said Joppo is right. Our seat placements were far from the best, real life interfered more than it should have, and the deck was just so damn good. I was okay with it going up to 3L, but 4L was a bit much.

I chose Joe in a bid to have him look like he's my Hitler, so Cadaver doesn't get a lot of eyes on him. That didn't work either, since our VOTING PATTERNS consistently laughed at us easy enough. And yes I also passed Joe LF so I could say I "tested" him instead of losing on lib points from forcing a L choice on him.

Okay, actually it isn't so much real life interfering for me as much as simply minimizing my time on my laptop. I work six days a week on it so when I'm done I just leave it immediately. I also do the same during breaks. Sometimes i check the thread in the middle of the work, sometimes I don't, sometimes I can't. Honestly I don't know why this has become an issue with keeping up with the game, but I couldn't figure it out still.

Thanks to Micro for the fun game, and zeogold for the amazing flavor. Meanwhile, I'll see if I'll fare better in the upcoming Mafia game.