Close to a lunch break I would replace a bulb with a pickle to make it glow. No guard can resist a glowing pickle so he would come to investigate. I would overpower him, take his sandwich. Meat is a nitrogen rich product, snowglobe contains glycerin and using pool noodle as a source of fire (it burns slowly just like I need it!) I would perform nitrosation and thus obtaining nitroglycerin. BOOM! I would be free in no time, it's science baby!

I break the snow globe to use a shard of glass to form a dummy hands from pool noodle. I have hiper allergic reaction for pickles (swelling of the body etc.). I eat pickles and lose consciousness. I wake up in the ward. Handcuffs pinned to the bed and dummy hands. I release and after finding a doctor outfit with ID quietly leave a prison.

Procedure: wait until there is a single guard in my cell block. Harass him with pool noodle until he becomes agitated enough to come near my cell. As he grabs the noodle, smash snowglobe on his head, hopefully knocking him out.
Take his key.
Open cell.
Take guard into cell and trade outfits with him.
Set guard into bed with pickle shoved down his throat to finish him off.
Sneak throughout prison with his supplies (gun, mace, etc.)
Use key for any locked doors, and mace to blind any guards
Make it out through main doors, or first story window.

1. Entice guard to enter cell by offering him pickle.
2. While guard is about to eat pickle, smash snowglobe over guard's head, rendering him unconscious and simultaneously breaking snowglobe in to pieces.
3. Take guard's keys and pickle and exchange clothes with guard.
4..Take broken pieces of glass from snowglobe and slit guard's throat.
5. Use pool noodle to carefully mop up excess blood.
6. Sweep up all broken pieces of glass in case of emergency.
7. Cut off a piece of the pool noodle for later use using broken glass from snowglobe.
7. Walk out of prison wearing guard's uniform.
8. If anyone questions me, knock them out and then slit their throat using broken piece of glass from snowglobe, and then clean up mess with pool noodle so that no blood will be found at the scene of the crime. Then cut off a small piece of the pickle and place in person's mouth. It will be obvious to anyone that the person who is dead died from choking to death and therefore no one will question it further.
9. If caught, I can repeat this particular strategy again and again since I still have part of my pickle (at least), glass from the snowglobe, and part of the pool noodle. Therefore, I am getting out of jail in a condition allowing for further escape unlike those who used up their items in their entirety.

I take the pool noodle and strategically stuff it down my pants over the crotch area.

As a guard passes by, I make perverted noises and huddle in a corner, pretending to read a dirty magazine; this is further accentuated by the pool noodle, which simulates a full-blown erection.

The guard gets curious and decides to enter my cell and take my dirty magazine. As soon as he enters my cell and asks me what's so interesting, I give him the pickle.

While he is distracted wondering how a pickle could draw out perverted noises from an prisoner, I knock him out with an elbow to the head. I take and put on his uniform, keys and other useful belongings

I break the snowglobe and collect the liquid inside with my pool noodle, using it as a sponge; I make my way through the prison, and when I hear a guard approaching, I squeeze the pool noodle a bit to drop snowglobe fluid on the floor a few minutes before the guard passes through. The guard will notice this liquid on the floor and will either bend down to examine it, call for the cleaning crew or just stare at it. I take advantage of this distraction and move unnoticed dressed in guard uniform.

Once again, I use the pool noodle and repeat the same thing as many times as needed, being careful not to run out of fluid.

I eventually cross the entire prison interior towards the exit, and once I'm out, I look for a distracted and alone prison staff member, and knock him out by throwing the base of the snowglobe really hard at them. I search them and repeat this action as many times as I need until I find a set of car keys. I take a car and use it to escape.

I'll change uniforms/clothes with them if I have to as well. As soon as I exit the prison and the security guard watching the gate opens it up for me he will say 'see you tomorrow and take care' and I will answer back 'you too, don't get yourself in a pickle'.

And then I'm free!

Break the snow globe to get the snow.
Carefully handle and knead the snow to create ice.
Bite the "le" off the pickle to create a pick.
Combine ice and pick to an ice pick.
Turn around the pool noodle to create a noodle pool.
The guards will be attracted by the smell of noodles - play innocent (I am!) and insane (I'm not, no!) and most importantly - harmless.
When they sympathize and lead me off to the next asylum wait for the right moment outside the prison grounds:
Use ice pick to overwhelm unsuspecting guards (harmless I'm not!) and go free.

Despair since I couldn't take the noodles (yummy!) with me, but at least I still have a glob.

As one of the guards passes by my cell, I take out the pickle and start lasciviously licking it in teasing ways. I've heard rumors that this particular guard is quite gay. Having caught the attention of the guard, he comes closer and I up the ante by starting to act like I'm high. Now this gets his attention even more and he tells me to step back so he can enter the cell. As he enters, he slips on the floor which he hadn't noticed is completely under water. Before luring the guard to my cell, I had broken the snowglobe and used the glass shards to cut up the pool noodle into pieces and stuff the toilet and the drains on the cell floor.
Before the guard can get up, I kick him in the face, lunge forward and apply a rear-naked choke to his neck, suppressing the blood supply to his brain. He struggles but this only tightens the choke. As he passes out, the guard gets a boner but the boner doesn't help him much.
I take the cut up pool noodle pieces out of the toilet and stuff them into the mouth of the unconscious guard and handcuff him to the bars of my cell. I almost forget about the pickle, and shove that into his mouth as well. He isn't going anywhere and won't be able to alert anyone either.
Once I'm sure that no other guard is nearby, I exit my cell and open the other cells, all of them and even the people I don't like. Because you don't want them screaming around, better to have everyone in on it and have a silent mission. In a proper prison uprising, you need all the numbers you can get and since it's all the inmates against the prison, that works just fine.
We overpower another guard and since I still have plenty of pool noodle left to use as gagging material, no problems there.
Eventually, we make our way to the control room and from there we open all the doors in all cell blocks. It's an all out prison riot now, the full deal. The pool noodle is no longer necessary but I keep one small piece as a memento as I escape the prison with a horde of fellow inmates. I also leave the rest of the pool noodle on the control room desk with a note saying "you got defeated by pool noodle, congrats".
Many inmates will get caught again later as the whole region is under high alert but I'm smart and already made it out of the area alone by hitchhiking out of the area with an elderly lady who thinks I'm a nice young man with good manners. And I am, as I was falsely imprisoned anyway.


(Edit: Just realized this is 170 words too long and because it's been more than 3 hours since I first posted, I can't edit it and therefor can't partake in the contest. Damn the small print, always the small print!)

1. Identify a guard who is known to like pickles
2. Bribe said guard with the pickle to let me out of my cell for a few minutes
3. Sneak down to the ground floor, smashing the snow globe on the ground to create a slippery trap for pursuing guards
4. Wrap the pool noodle around the bars of one of the windows
5. Squeeze through the bars, using the noodle to maintain a grip on the bars
6. Drop down into the yard, making sure to untie the noodle first
7. Use to noodle to help me climb over the prison wall
8. Freedom!

1. Hope that my escape will be on an evening when Police Academy 8 is shown. Since the warden will force all policemen to watch it it will be easier for me to execute my plan. Cellmates wouldn't be a problem either then because they would much rather go to sleep than view. This will make my plan a whole lot easier, at least 1.5-10 hours (might be a police academy marathon).

However, my plan is: Bite of and chew some of the pickle. Then spit this on various of areas of the prison bars. This is because pickles are sour and almost burn in your mouth - kinda like SCUMM -- have to work. After getting out of the cell I would sneak in to the wardens office and replace his fishbowl with the snowglobe. If my hope of police-marathon mayhem would succeed, then no guards would be there but the risk is always there. There could also be a janitor.

Current items I have: Pool nodle, half eaten pickle and an empty fishbowl. After carefully sneaking through the corridors I would spot my worst nemesis. The security camera. I want to be a ghost, a ninja - a legend. I want to leave with no traces. So, what I do with the camera is: Break the pool noodle in half, put the half eaten picke in my mouth with at least half of it sticking out, and put the fish bowl on my head. When the guards see this they would probably think it is a prank - a joke - an illusion.

Now exiting main entrance. Mama mia - there are guards here. Jump into a trash can or a basket and keep my headgear on (pickle and fish bowl) then repeat "alpha protocol in test of test in case of test". I would look like R2D2 or something and no guard would interfere with an expensive looking robot. They are afriad of destroying it so I remain untouched.

The last obstacle is left. The problem is, the prison is on an island. Hmm. Gently make a hole in the fish bowl and put one of the pool noodles through it. The other one I grip with my both hands, oh and the pickle I eat up because I need extra energy during the swim. With my poolnoodle-head I may breath as I swim and the other noodle supporting me.

Oh no, there are sharks. This is when the smartest part comes; Remember the fish bowl) of course it had a golden fish in it. I continue to swim and throw away the little fish far away, and the sharks go after it instead.

I now reach the beach, wet and tired - but in one piece - untouched - unknown - heroic.

That is my plan!


Edit: Just realized that max words are 100! :^(, well good luck to you others!

Ok so here is what I came up with. :)

1. Call the Cell block guard over to my cell.
2. Smash the snow globe over the guards head knocking him out and then drag him into my cell.
3. Take the guards clothes off and put my prison jumpsuit on to prison guard.
4. Put guards clothes myself and gear on including keys to the laundry and security office.
5. Put guard into my bed and make sure that his head is facing down towards the pillow.
6. Take my remaining equipment (Pickle and Pool Noodle) and go to the security office.
7. Using the computers I remove the security tapes for my cell block, the laundry and any halls.leading from my cell block to the laundry.
8. I pocket the tapes for now.
9. I casually walk to the laundry.
10. There is another guard - I jump him with the pool noodle by wrapping it around his neck. Knocking him out.
11. I hide the guard in one of the large laundry baskets.
12. I take the tapes and put then into the large industrial dryers and put it on high. By morning they should be melted plastic.
13. The laundry truck is going to arrive soon to pick up laundry for the local dry cleaner.
14. The Laundry truck arrives i tell the guard driving the truck that the other guard whom I knocked out has gone home early due to illness and I am his replacement driver.
15. I drive out of the prison by the time that they discover the other guards in the morning I will be long gone. Meanwhile - I eat my celebratory pickle.

Break globe, take shard, slice pool noodle, keep snow.
Pad arms with noodle.
Dig cell hinges out with shard.

Toss shard down hallway to distract guard.
If guard is encountered, blind with snow, follow with melee using padded arms.
If dog is encountered, feed pickle, follow up with melee.

Sneak to janitor's closet.
Put on janitor's scrubs, and obscuring headgear - (hat / helmet / mop.)
Select pile of heavy objects and carry to front door.

Struggle to open door while holding pile.
Passerby will see janitor struggling and kindly help with door.
Exit with minimal eye contact.

If unused, celebrate with pickle.

Thanks for all the great entries so far, we can already see that picking winners will be a very tough choice to make!

Just a reminder, this contest is only running until Friday - so if you haven't participated yet, get your thinking cap on and come up with your own escape plan.

I'm pretty sure a lot of plans here (I've seen at least 7) are relying on knocking out a lone guard that comes by and wearing his uniform, pretty sure it should be harder than that

…(well my plan isn't amazing either, more of a cop out, but at least it looks original next to all of those that are the same)

So true......some of them are just slight alterations of someone else's idea.

True, I ditched the normal solutions immediately.
I also avoided all dream or superpower cheap options and remained with a pair of tricks ; )
(one was death, and it has been well used by another person here too lol)