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The Bard's Tale ARPG: Remastered and Resnarkled

in library

3.9/5

( 114 Reviews )

3.9

114 Reviews

English & 6 more
Offer ends on: 10/07/2025 09:59 EEST
Offer ends in: d h m s
19.993.99
Lowest price in the last 30 days before discount: 9.99
Why buy on GOG.COM?
DRM FREE. No activation or online connection required to play.
Safety and satisfaction. Stellar support 24/7 and full refunds up to 30 days.
The Bard's Tale ARPG: Remastered and Resnarkled
Description
“The Bard’s Tale is easily the funniest game I’ve ever played, and I’ve played all the funny games out there.” – IGN “Ready your weapon and bladder as you embark on this ridiculously addicting quest and the funniest adventure of the year, The Bard’s Tale” – Game Chronicles “This game is satire in it...
User reviews

3.9/5

( 114 Reviews )

3.9

114 Reviews

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Product details
2004, inXile Entertainment, ESRB Rating: Teen...
System requirements
Windows 7 / 8 / 10, Pentium 4 2Ghz / AMD AthlonXP 2400, 512 MB RAM, GeForce FX5700 or better / ATI R...
Time to beat
14 hMain
18.5 h Main + Sides
27.5 h Completionist
18.5 h All Styles
Description
“The Bard’s Tale is easily the funniest game I’ve ever played, and I’ve played all the funny games out there.”
IGN

“Ready your weapon and bladder as you embark on this ridiculously addicting quest and the funniest adventure of the year, The Bard’s Tale”
Game Chronicles

“This game is satire in its sharpest form”
Cheat Code Central


You play as the titular Bard, a roguish, manipulative and lewd songster whose priorities in life are the acquisition of material wealth and carnal pleasures. The Bard's pretty sarcastic by nature, but you get to decide just how scathing he is by selecting 'Nice' or 'Sarky' responses. Watch out you don't get too cocky though; folk you've upset may come back to haunt you.

During his raucous adventures, the Bard recruits a motley band of eccentrics and misfits to help in his ignoble cause. Enemies can be defeated using traditional or magical weapons and you can also use the Bard's dulcet tones to summon creatures. If you're tired of saving humankind or bored of games that take themselves a bit too seriously, The Bard's Tale could very well be for you.

FEATURES
  • Includes Original Classic Trilogy! Experience the legendary games that started it all!
  • Full keyboard & mouse controls, as well as controller support.
  • Supports English, French, Italian, German, Spanish, Polish and Russian languages.
  • German voice-over (accessible under Sound Options when game language is set to German)!
  • High-resolution and widescreen support!
  • Performance enhancements.
  • External URLs links on main menu for support pages and related media.
  • Bug fixes to original console release.
  • 50 enemy types (not counting bosses!)
  • A vast world to explore with towns, wild forests, rivers, castles, towers, secret dungeons, snowy mountains, caverns, haunted tombs and more
  • A full cast of bizarre NPC’s
  • Over a dozen special boss enemies to defeat
  • 16 magical characters to discover and then summon at will to aid you
  • Over 150 unique items of weaponry, armor, instruments, tokens, artifacts and loot!
  • More Song & Dance numbers than any other game, including a zombie dance-off!
  • Over 14 hours of outstanding voice-acting from top Hollywood talent, including Cary Elwes (The Princess Bride) as the Bard, and the inimitable Tony Jay as the Narrator
  • Classics Games—includes original classic games The Bard’s Tale 1, 2 & 3.

© 2005 inXile entertainment. All rights reserved. The Bard's Tale is a trademark or registered trademark of inXile entertainment in certain countries; and is a trademark or registered trademark of Electronic Arts Inc. in certain other countries where it is used under license. inXile entertainment and the inXile logo are trademarks of inXile entertainment.

Goodies
artworks avatars cluebooks manuals quick reference cards soundtrack wallpaper
System requirements
Minimum system requirements:
Why buy on GOG.COM?
DRM FREE. No activation or online connection required to play.
Safety and satisfaction. Stellar support 24/7 and full refunds up to 30 days.
Time to beat
14 hMain
18.5 h Main + Sides
27.5 h Completionist
18.5 h All Styles
Game details
Works on:
Windows (7, 8, 10, 11)
Release date:
{{'2004-10-28T00:00:00+03:00' | date: 'longDate' : ' +0300 ' }}
Size:
3.4 GB
Rating:
ESRB Rating: Teen (Violence, Blood, Suggestive Themes, Language, Use of Alcohol)

Game features

Languages
English
audio
text
Deutsch
audio
text
español
audio
text
français
audio
text
italiano
audio
text
polski
audio
text
русский
audio
text
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User reviews

Posted on: January 7, 2023

CarChris

Verified owner

Games: 171 Reviews: 86

Your beloved Bard, NOT the Chosen One!

I consider it as one of the most pleasant games I’ve ever played. This and Divinity 2: Developer’s Cut! Amazing game with the titular protagonist. Simple battle with swords and bows, but the Bard also has in his repertoire his summoning spells-songs. Another great thing is that the summoned creatures aren’t timed. They’ll continue to exist until dead, or you dispel them. You also get the chance to have a great dog companion (if you are nice), which fights and unearths simple loot from the ground for you! Speaking of loot, there is no need to return to merchants to sell it. Whatever equipment is better than what you have, becomes available for use and if you find inferior items than what you have, they automatically turn into coins. Incredibly funny game. From the quests, to the loot, the narrator, and the dialogues. The game has a rich story and very addictive gameplay. I couldn’t stop playing in order to see what will happen next! Furthermore, all dialogue lines are voice acted, and superbly so! Even merchants’ descriptions about their stock! I found myself pressing to repeat the same line, just to listen it again! And let’s not forget the songs! There is enemy respawn if you exit an area and re-enter. No manual saving. There are stationary saving spots, which can be used multiple times. No map of the overall area, but there is a minimap to help you with your immediate surroundings. Minor negatives: 1) minimal available graphics options and can’t even change screen resolution, 2) you can’t fire an arrow simply by clicking LMB, you have to keep it pressed for about half a second. Both can be used to. Major negative: Why is there a lvl cap (21) in a game that features enemy respawn? Not logical! 30 hours for me.


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Posted on: October 12, 2023

BigBadBorg

Verified owner

Games: 830 Reviews: 38

Great fun story, horrific gameplay

I made it for ten hours, destroyed two towers. But I can't go on, the gameplay is just horrible. The controls are clunky, unresponsive at times, the camera is by far to close to my character. Inventory and stat screens are clearly made for consoles, not for PC. The graphical quality is, even for 2004, just plain bad. On the plus side, the dialogue is fantastic, which is the reason I made it for ten hours. But even though it's great, the game itself is not. I even activated god mode later in the game, just to get faster through the boring gameplay and levels, forward to the next dialogue/cut scene. But even with that I don't want to start the game anymore. It's hard to believe this was made by the same team that made Wasteland.


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Posted on: September 7, 2024

BMBL99

Verified owner

Games: 30 Reviews: 2

It's funny and all

but it gets really tedius, boring after few hours


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Posted on: July 15, 2015

JalPhoenix

Verified owner

Games: 149 Reviews: 12

Okay for a quick play

Not a great game, but not a lousy one, either. Game play is completely linear: Go here first, fight this guy, level up, go here next. Little to no open world exploration. In this way, it's very much like to original Bard's Tale games I played as a kid. The humor is amusing, though I found myself skipping many of the songs. There were a few parts where I laughed out loud, such as when a ghost informs you that there's something from the underworld that wants to speak with you, and it turns out to be low level monsters you killed earlier in the game. A big ceremony, and it's just some idiot trow from the first level that pops up. For some reason I found that more amusing than I should. Buy this game on sale. It's inferior to Might & Magic VI, VII and VII just as the original Bard's Tale games were inferior to M&M I, II and III, but it's still worth a play through.


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Posted on: January 30, 2025

Spandax

Verified owner

Games: 221 Reviews: 4

Deceptively Simple Fun

Don't go thinking because the game has a lot of stats to distribute points in that it's complex and hard. Genrally just beeline Strength to 16 then Vitality to about 12 and you've got a strong start. I say this because a poorly built character can be a slog through no fault of the developers modernizing it for modern equipment. It was a game from a different time - when video game rentals were a thing and games were deliberately padded to be too long to finish in the 48-72 hour rental window. But with the previous advice you can cut through all the experimentation and frustration and just have a solid game play experience where your timing and positioning matter more than your patience. Outside of that the game's got some pretty great writing in a semi-linear story (there's some variance on side quests and even a few optional chapters; and don't knosck linearity, if the story is done well it can be a pretty good design flow). It's worth a play on sale. If you are a sucker for tame but raunchy gag humour, basic ARPGs, admitttedly clever song writing at times, and naration by the late great Tony Jay give it a shot. Still it's not going to be for everyone and the pace is a little slow even as optimized as you character gets. Again the rental window of the past does haunt it, so II knocked a star. It's well executed though and delivers the experience it is designed to.


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