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The Bard's Tale ARPG: Remastered and Resnarkled

in library

3.8/5

( 116 Reviews )

3.8

116 Reviews

English & 6 more
19.9919.99
Why buy on GOG.COM?
DRM FREE. No activation or online connection required to play.
Safety and satisfaction. Stellar support 24/7 and full refunds up to 30 days.
The Bard's Tale ARPG: Remastered and Resnarkled
Description
“The Bard’s Tale is easily the funniest game I’ve ever played, and I’ve played all the funny games out there.” – IGN “Ready your weapon and bladder as you embark on this ridiculously addicting quest and the funniest adventure of the year, The Bard’s Tale” – Game Chronicles “This game is satire in it...
User reviews

3.8/5

( 116 Reviews )

3.8

116 Reviews

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Product details
2004, inXile Entertainment, ESRB Rating: Teen...
System requirements
Windows 7 / 8 / 10, Pentium 4 2Ghz / AMD AthlonXP 2400, 512 MB RAM, GeForce FX5700 or better / ATI R...
Time to beat
14 hMain
18.5 h Main + Sides
28 h Completionist
18.5 h All Styles
Description
“The Bard’s Tale is easily the funniest game I’ve ever played, and I’ve played all the funny games out there.”
IGN

“Ready your weapon and bladder as you embark on this ridiculously addicting quest and the funniest adventure of the year, The Bard’s Tale”
Game Chronicles

“This game is satire in its sharpest form”
Cheat Code Central


You play as the titular Bard, a roguish, manipulative and lewd songster whose priorities in life are the acquisition of material wealth and carnal pleasures. The Bard's pretty sarcastic by nature, but you get to decide just how scathing he is by selecting 'Nice' or 'Sarky' responses. Watch out you don't get too cocky though; folk you've upset may come back to haunt you.

During his raucous adventures, the Bard recruits a motley band of eccentrics and misfits to help in his ignoble cause. Enemies can be defeated using traditional or magical weapons and you can also use the Bard's dulcet tones to summon creatures. If you're tired of saving humankind or bored of games that take themselves a bit too seriously, The Bard's Tale could very well be for you.

FEATURES
  • Includes Original Classic Trilogy! Experience the legendary games that started it all!
  • Full keyboard & mouse controls, as well as controller support.
  • Supports English, French, Italian, German, Spanish, Polish and Russian languages.
  • German voice-over (accessible under Sound Options when game language is set to German)!
  • High-resolution and widescreen support!
  • Performance enhancements.
  • External URLs links on main menu for support pages and related media.
  • Bug fixes to original console release.
  • 50 enemy types (not counting bosses!)
  • A vast world to explore with towns, wild forests, rivers, castles, towers, secret dungeons, snowy mountains, caverns, haunted tombs and more
  • A full cast of bizarre NPC’s
  • Over a dozen special boss enemies to defeat
  • 16 magical characters to discover and then summon at will to aid you
  • Over 150 unique items of weaponry, armor, instruments, tokens, artifacts and loot!
  • More Song & Dance numbers than any other game, including a zombie dance-off!
  • Over 14 hours of outstanding voice-acting from top Hollywood talent, including Cary Elwes (The Princess Bride) as the Bard, and the inimitable Tony Jay as the Narrator
  • Classics Games—includes original classic games The Bard’s Tale 1, 2 & 3.

© 2005 inXile entertainment. All rights reserved. The Bard's Tale is a trademark or registered trademark of inXile entertainment in certain countries; and is a trademark or registered trademark of Electronic Arts Inc. in certain other countries where it is used under license. inXile entertainment and the inXile logo are trademarks of inXile entertainment.

Goodies
artworks avatars cluebooks manuals quick reference cards soundtrack wallpaper
System requirements
Minimum system requirements:
Why buy on GOG.COM?
DRM FREE. No activation or online connection required to play.
Safety and satisfaction. Stellar support 24/7 and full refunds up to 30 days.
Time to beat
14 hMain
18.5 h Main + Sides
28 h Completionist
18.5 h All Styles
Game details
Works on:
Windows (7, 8, 10, 11)
Release date:
{{'2004-10-28T00:00:00+03:00' | date: 'longDate' : ' +0300 ' }}
Size:
3.4 GB
Rating:
ESRB Rating: Teen (Violence, Blood, Suggestive Themes, Language, Use of Alcohol)

Game features

Languages
English
audio
text
Deutsch
audio
text
español
audio
text
français
audio
text
italiano
audio
text
polski
audio
text
русский
audio
text
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User reviews

Posted on: July 23, 2022

xaero47

Verified owner

Games: 132 Reviews: 89

LOL

Great game, despite its age. Probably has the best script for a game along with Soul Reaver 2 that I've ever seen, funniest game I've ever seen. Has tons of upgrades, good summoning system and you'll never be bored with it, it has tons of value.


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Posted on: December 20, 2023

jpierres

Verified owner

Games: 107 Reviews: 2

Manual is in GOG Galaxy folder

Worked on Windows 10 but made me motion sick Keyboard controls: See C:\Program Files (x86)\GOG Galaxy\Games\The Bard's Tale\!Downloads \bards_tale_manuals.zip\manuals\The Bard's Tale (2005) - Manual.pdf Summary: Game menu - toggle Esc (load, options, exit) Stats - Right MB on upper left health icon (coins & crystals, quest log, equip/tune/talent/token lists) Inventory (on world map) - Tab Move - Right MB Attack - Left MB (hold ~1 sec for bow) Block - Space Use/Action - F (Pickup, Talk, Save at rotating book, etc) Quick Heal - R Choose dialogue - Left MB on head icons at top Artifacts menu - 1 (or Shift D) then W/A/S/D to use chosen item Melee Weapons menu - 2 (or Shift W) then W/A/S/D to equip chosen weapon (sword, etc) Summon Creatures menu - 3 (or Shift S) then W/A/S/D for type, W/A/S/D for spell Order Creatures Menu - Aggressive stance - Up arrow (or Alt W?) Defensive stance - Down arrow (or Alt S?) Stay - Left arrow (or Alt A?) Come to me - Right arrow (or Alt D?) Special Weapons menu - 4 (or Shift A) then W/A/S/D for item (bow, etc)


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Posted on: November 13, 2019

awsomewelles

Verified owner

Games: 381 Reviews: 3

Repetitive, in spite of he humour

I never played any of the Bard's Tale games before, and didn't quite know what to expect. The game starts out in a promising way, and after the introductory adventure, I had got my hopes up; the quest, the banter between the Bard and the unimpressed narrator and the effort put into the songs created a fun and enjoyable little world. However, the further I ventured out from the starting villlage of Houton, the bad level design, repetitive combat and bad controls took its toll on my enjoyment. One level had me fighting about 20 set fights without much variation in enemies or difficulty. The repetitiveness was made much worse by several unnecessary deaths as the Bard repeatedly got stuck in a power-shot mode with his bow and couldn't move away from enemy attacks. Another had me fighting through three levels of unvaried enemies (though there were the ocasional fun traps) only to have to fight my way down three levels again through one recurring mix of other enemies. Another design choice that added to the repetitiveness was that all enemies respawn if you come back to a place you had visited before. I didn't mind that too much in the beginning, but since it also occured on visiting houses or shops in a city, it got tedious to have to fight the same enemies over and over again. The game does have a few good components though. I would have liked the rest of the world to be The tavern in Houton was immersive and fun, and it would have been great if the rest of the world and its interactions would have been as well developed. I also liked the summoning system and would have liked it to be developed even further to include more options than "attack" or "stay back". Without more varied enemies and fixing the twitchy combat controls, such development would probably not add much to the gameplay. In summary, the game has some good ideas and concepts and a world that has some good potential, but the gameplay and combat system takes away all the fun in the long run.


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Posted on: June 11, 2022

LiorHecht

Verified owner

Games: Reviews: 1

A wonderful parody of old fantasy tropes

While the gameplay is outdated, the comedy isn't, and this is what this game is mainly about - comedy. this is a paradoy for all the fantasy cliches of fantasy, most of which is still prevelant today, two decades afte this game was published. Every once in a while I look if there is any new game like this one, alas these are rare and fewer made me laugh as much as the "chosen one" songs.


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Posted on: December 8, 2015

Klumpen0815

Verified owner

Games: 1797 Reviews: 63

Nice try... or not

Based on the Linux port: My first thought was "Looks, feels and controls like a PS2 game" and guess what: It is a PS2 game indeed that was ported to all kinds of platforms by now. I've finished it in about 14,5 hours with all three endings although had to spend more time due to unacceptable bugs (see further below). It's meant as a satire to all RPGs and falls flat in most regards. Although some short passages are funny, it's too much impersonating what it's trying to mock in a quite repetitive way and is trying too hard to be funny in a mostly sarcastical and cynical way. It would need a bit deeper characters and more kinds of humour to work. Questing is linear, grinding is not too bad although there often isn't much else besides grinding. Gamepad support is there (not only XBox), but there is no button mapping and the Y- and X-axis of the right stick was mixed up on my pad. The save system relies on checkpoints which was a particularly bad idea as seen below. The Linux port has [b]massive technical problems[/b]. 1. The old games simply won't start at all. If you choose them from the menu, you only get the "help" tab. You have to hack in the password protected and disguised archives in the games folder containing the games and then run them in an emulator if you want to play them. 2. There are a few bugs in the game where a script doesn't work and you have to try over and over again in order to be able to make the story go on. 3. There's a really mean lighting bug causing to randomly spread one color over a whole area, slowing down the game to about 0,5 - 2 frames per second and forcing you to reload from the last checkpoint. I had to do this over and over again in order to finish this game. After all those years of updates, I expected it to be at least free of the worst bugs... I'll never touch this game again and wouldn't recommend it to most people, if you're in the mood for cheap satire and a hardcore fan of Brian Fargo, you could try it though.


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