“The Bard’s Tale is easily the funniest game I’ve ever played, and I’ve played all the funny games out there.” – IGN
“Ready your weapon and bladder as you embark on this ridiculously addicting quest and the funniest adventure of the year, The Bard’s Tale” – Game Chronicles
“This game is satire in it...
“The Bard’s Tale is easily the funniest game I’ve ever played, and I’ve played all the funny games out there.” – IGN
“Ready your weapon and bladder as you embark on this ridiculously addicting quest and the funniest adventure of the year, The Bard’s Tale” – Game Chronicles
“This game is satire in its sharpest form” – Cheat Code Central
You play as the titular Bard, a roguish, manipulative and lewd songster whose priorities in life are the acquisition of material wealth and carnal pleasures. The Bard's pretty sarcastic by nature, but you get to decide just how scathing he is by selecting 'Nice' or 'Sarky' responses. Watch out you don't get too cocky though; folk you've upset may come back to haunt you.
During his raucous adventures, the Bard recruits a motley band of eccentrics and misfits to help in his ignoble cause. Enemies can be defeated using traditional or magical weapons and you can also use the Bard's dulcet tones to summon creatures. If you're tired of saving humankind or bored of games that take themselves a bit too seriously, The Bard's Tale could very well be for you.
FEATURES
Includes Original Classic Trilogy! Experience the legendary games that started it all!
Full keyboard & mouse controls, as well as controller support.
Supports English, French, Italian, German, Spanish, Polish and Russian languages.
German voice-over (accessible under Sound Options when game language is set to German)!
High-resolution and widescreen support!
Performance enhancements.
External URLs links on main menu for support pages and related media.
Bug fixes to original console release.
50 enemy types (not counting bosses!)
A vast world to explore with towns, wild forests, rivers, castles, towers, secret dungeons, snowy mountains, caverns, haunted tombs and more
A full cast of bizarre NPC’s
Over a dozen special boss enemies to defeat
16 magical characters to discover and then summon at will to aid you
Over 150 unique items of weaponry, armor, instruments, tokens, artifacts and loot!
More Song & Dance numbers than any other game, including a zombie dance-off!
Over 14 hours of outstanding voice-acting from top Hollywood talent, including Cary Elwes (The Princess Bride) as the Bard, and the inimitable Tony Jay as the Narrator
Classics Games—includes original classic games The Bard’s Tale 1, 2 & 3.
Before purchasing it, thanks to other users report, I contacted the support who provided me with this answer:
"The game should work without issues on the operating systems listed on the website. However, if you encounter any problems after purchasing the game, I am here to assist you in resolving those issues. You can attempt to revert the patch to the previous version on GOG Galaxy, although I can't guarantee that it will work perfectly since Galaxy is officially supported from Windows 8."
After this answer I just purchased the game and I can also confirm that both versions 2.2.a (Offline Installer) and 2.2.b (Galaxy Install) with Windows 7 x64 give the error: "The program can't start because XINPUT1_4.dll is missing from your computer". (XINPUT1_4.dll is a Windows 10 only file!!!)
...as was intended, I was unable to run it with Windows 7 x64.
I ask for a refund immediately!!!
PS
Since the "Original Classic Trilogy" can only be played from within the ARPG game, I can't use that either!
I hope you kept the previous version of The Bard's Tale because you will want to have it. I tried multiple times to get this new version to work smoothly but the framerate is awful. I did contact GOG about this and they offered suggeestions but none of them had worked (not a critique against GOG). I had read that this version is a port of the mobile platform which had I known that, I would have avoided buying this version. Mobile ports are a mixed bag at best. Hopefully there is a fix down the road.
Here's a friend's warning for Windows 7 Ultimate 64-bit users...
When I run The Bard's Tale ARPG - Remastered and Resnarkled I get the missing dlls error:
XInput1_4.dll
API-MS-Win-Eventing-ClassicProvider-L1-1-0.dll
api-ms-win-core-sysinfo-l1-2-1.dll
GOG should remove from the page that this game is compatible with Windows 7, when in fact it is not!
I generally stay away from top down open world games. But this game has a good story, music, Good characters. and overall humorous.
Dont kill chickens
This game you are not a Shiny knight or a villain. You are what the title says A "BARD" this game takes being a bard to a different level. You can talk to characters and depending what you respond could lead to a good outcome or a more challenging one.
Dont Kill Chickens
The voice acting to me is still very enjoyable.
This game is what i think allot about when i play more modern/recent role playing games or open world games. Even tho it cannot be compared to such games i still end up comparing suchs games to this one.
Ex: I played fallout4 and it did not catch the same awe or magic that fallout new vegas had (that was my first ever Fallout game) nor was it like the bards tale. Frankly this game really has set the bar high for me when i now look at RPGs and open worlds.
Kill chickens (:
An example of an extremely linear RPG with passable humor, clumsy controls and really below average mechanics. The Bard's Tale could have been a great remake, but instead it fell flat into the land of manufactured gaming with the kind of bland taste you are left with after a fourth Big Mac in a row.
The game mechanics are just too simplified: Stats management is just a few clicks away from being AI managed. The inventory and equipment facets are just a side dish and might as well be automated. What is left is basically hack & slash 101 and a rundown the mill story with overused jokes. If it was just that, it could still be a fine game, but there's absolutely no replay value whatsoever from the action stretches in the game. They are massively boring. There's just very little strategy involved here and it grows old very quickly.
Save your money, This Bard's Tale isn't telling any new tales and whoever designed this doesn't deserve the pat on the back.
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