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General discussionThe "bitch about life in general" thread(14226 posts)(14226 posts)
(14226 posts)
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This is my favourite topic
Posted February 24, 2011
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Shalgroth: ....
Your country has around a 33% divorce rate, as far as I can tell. Great for you guys, you'll note the advice I was giving was to an American and all of it backed up by statistics and fact as it stands in our country and has for many years. I know nearly every child in both Christian and Islamic countries is conditioned to think marriage is the bees knees but it usually is not.

Splitting a relationship that is bad is actually a good idea, one that is backed up by many professionals in the field. Yes, you may choose to work through some issues, but there's no reason for both parties to suffer when problems have become endemic. That is when you split and legally, marriage has made that a bitch for both parties, dragging them through even more shit before the healing can begin.

You claim my advice is biased, it is merely based on experience and research, the latter being the most important. It seems you'd like to base yours on your experiences and those of those around you. While it's not without merit to consider such things, to consider them solely is far more biased.

Marriage is legal and has legal consequences. Choose to ignore them at your own risk. Consequences vary by country, in the US the consequences of divorce can be severe.

And quit acting like if you just "choose wisely" you can avoid divorce completely. That's wishful thinking and absurd on the face of it.
Posted February 24, 2011
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MGShogun: Wow, you're right about that he will come back. I'm thankful that I didn't write him off at all and we establish the dialogue after the certain event so I'm very happy about it. But I'll take it step at a time and I'll do my best to be there for him.
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Damuna: That's great to hear, I hope things go well for you.

Well, I guess I was going to post here anyway.

I am homeless. Again.
Damn, I really hope that you can find a place to stay.
Posted February 24, 2011
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MGShogun: Wow, you're right about that he will come back. I'm thankful that I didn't write him off at all and we establish the dialogue after the certain event so I'm very happy about it. But I'll take it step at a time and I'll do my best to be there for him.
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Damuna: That's great to hear, I hope things go well for you.

Well, I guess I was going to post here anyway.

I am homeless. Again.
I'm very sorry, please be safe.
Posted February 24, 2011
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Rohan15: I have my Driver's Ed test today. :(
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Aliasalpha: Just remember when the sign says 'stop', thats an instruction to YOU and not telling everyone else to stop because you're there.

Seriously people remembering that would double the level of road safety around this place
I think I passed, but that was because the chick in front of me kept yapping about her dad's state trooper friend. They tester said shut up and was able to grade our tests finally.
Posted February 24, 2011
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Rohan15: ...
A Texas state trooper? Short story, a few years ago . . . I was barreling West on I -10 when up ahead I saw a Texas state trooper's car driving along the dirt road on the other side of the fence that parallels the interstate. It was the middle of the day, blazing hot with clear skies. I slowed down as I wasn't sure what was up and, being the desert, I was doing around 90 mph. The trooper had his windows up and I'm sure the AC was blasting, just idling along.

In front of the car was a guy, wearing blue jeans and a T-shirt with his hands cuffed behind his back. He was drenched with sweat and had obviously been strolling in front of the trooper's car for some time. The kicker was the 8 to 10 wide leather belt strapped around his upper body from just below the shoulders to just above his elbows. Buckled in the back it was solid with no vents or opening that I could see. His arms appeared to be pinned tightly against his ribs.

I pondered that all the way to the Texas state line. Always wondered what you had to do to get that kind of personal attention . . =)
Posted February 24, 2011
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Rohan15: ...
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Stuff: A Texas state trooper? Short story, a few years ago . . . I was barreling West on I -10 when up ahead I saw a Texas state trooper's car driving along the dirt road on the other side of the fence that parallels the interstate. It was the middle of the day, blazing hot with clear skies. I slowed down as I wasn't sure what was up and, being the desert, I was doing around 90 mph. The trooper had his windows up and I'm sure the AC was blasting, just idling along.

In front of the car was a guy, wearing blue jeans and a T-shirt with his hands cuffed behind his back. He was drenched with sweat and had obviously been strolling in front of the trooper's car for some time. The kicker was the 8 to 10 wide leather belt strapped around his upper body from just below the shoulders to just above his elbows. Buckled in the back it was solid with no vents or opening that I could see. His arms appeared to be pinned tightly against his ribs.

I pondered that all the way to the Texas state line. Always wondered what you had to do to get that kind of personal attention . . =)
Well, I passed, so yay, I get to experience that one day. :)
Posted February 24, 2011
So does that give you a full license or learners?

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Stuff: I pondered that all the way to the Texas state line. Always wondered what you had to do to get that kind of personal attention . . =)
Be into hardcore bondage I think, sounds like some of the stuff they use on kink.com
Post edited February 24, 2011 by Aliasalpha
Posted February 25, 2011
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Rohan15: Well, I passed, so yay, I get to experience that one day. :)
lol . . . I hope not young Texan, I hope not . . . =)
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Aliasalpha: Be into hardcore bondage I think, sounds like some of the stuff they use on kink.com
Now THAT is a disturbing thought . . . it was many years ago so I doubt they could get away with that today. . . =)
Post edited February 25, 2011 by Stuff
Posted February 25, 2011
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deathknight1728: Im not asking my parents to fight the battle for me, my dad just happens to have connections with someone on the board of directors. If I can mess up this asshole's life for crossing me and humiliating me, Im all for it. Im not really an aggressive person, but....when people do piss me off, i dont forget it.
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HoneyBakedHam: You are probably a really nice guy... I like to think the best about people I don't know. But if you think trying to get a guy fired, that is, taking away his livelihood and his ability to pay his mortgage, to raise his own kids, maybe destroying his marriage, so on and so forth, is an appropriate response to being offended by something he said in class, then you still have some maturing to do...

Let go of the stuff that's just bullshit. You're gonna need that energy for the real stuff that hasn't come yet.
Agree and well said.

Perspective is tough when you're young, and the bitter thing is that to get it, it's not enough just to be smart. Not even REALLY smart. Or intuitive. Not even to have basic goodwill or advanced evil cunning. It's a huge boon and worth working really hard to nail down, though. All it takes is a blinkered misstep here and there to ruin a decade, a life, a future.

On a maybe related note, one of the things that has been helpful to me is to try not to make a room any worse after I've left it than when I enter. That's regardless of what other people do. I'm not responsible for them. But at least looking at things that way gives me a chance to stop being an asshole before I start, which can give both me and other people a little peace of mind. Not necessarily an easy thing to have in our asshole world, so always welcome. And generally deserved.

There will always be professors or others who act like jerks and try to embarrass us. Petty vengeance will always be tempting. But getting involved on that level can mean you've lost by definition. Then what they've tried to do to you, you've also moved on to doing to yourself. Humor and perspective are the best solvents to help dissolve that crap and flush it out of the system.

/rant
Posted February 25, 2011
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Rohan15: Well, I passed, so yay, I get to experience that one day. :)
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Stuff: lol . . . I hope not young Texan, I hope not . . . =)
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Aliasalpha: Be into hardcore bondage I think, sounds like some of the stuff they use on kink.com
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Stuff: Now THAT is a disturbing thought . . . it was many years ago so I doubt they could get away with that today. . . =)
I like that idea expect I rather it be my gf... ;)
Posted February 25, 2011
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Damuna: If you're lucky, he'll come back once he realises he's been a fool. So, don't write him off just yet, just wait.
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MGShogun: Wow, you're right about that he will come back. I'm thankful that I didn't write him off at all and we establish the dialogue after the certain event so I'm very happy about it. But I'll take it step at a time and I'll do my best to be there for him.
This has happened to me so many times in the past. As the song goes, "You always hurt/The ones you love/The ones you shouldn't hurt at all..."

Most people are at least a bit confused and frightened by life, and by their own natures, and it can make them cowards. They may feel at their emotional limits at some point, and need to lash out. But lashing out at strangers or those they feel might lash back is scary and unsafe. So they lash out at the ones they instinctually understand won't hurt them. Which is bad enough, but where it really gets bad is when they try to justify their behavior by imagining the person so close to them actually deserves it.

It's really hard, but I have come to expect inappropriate behavior somewhere along the line as a not uncommon feature of being close to others. It comes with the territory, because even basically good people can be just not that strong or emotionally responsible, or harbor some black part inside them -- some anger or insecurity -- that sooner or later will find its way out.

The only question is whether the person is worth the drama and trauma. Many times, the answer will be no. Sometimes yes. What I try to do generally is make sure that if the relationship resumes at a good level, it is with the very clear understanding that everyone can make mistakes, but if someone even THINKS about treating me poorly again, the relationship/friendship is over. We can still be friendly and get along, but we won't get together. I'm forgiving, but not a doormat, so the forgiving part is done. We've already been there and done that, so there's nothing left to know. There will be no "cycle." I will just treat further bad behavior as someone deciding the relationship is not worth keeping and take them at their word about it, so to speak. I can respect that decision, even if it makes no sense to me and wasn't one I would have made. But I'm not going to argue about it. Be a dick again, and I'm out. I think that's about as fair a deal as anyone can expect.
Post edited February 25, 2011 by Blarg
Posted February 25, 2011
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MGShogun: Wow, you're right about that he will come back. I'm thankful that I didn't write him off at all and we establish the dialogue after the certain event so I'm very happy about it. But I'll take it step at a time and I'll do my best to be there for him.
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Blarg: This has happened to me so many times in the past. As the song goes, "You always hurt/The ones you love/The ones you shouldn't hurt at all..."

Most people are at least a bit confused and frightened by life, and by their own natures, and it can make them cowards. They may feel at their emotional limits at some point, and need to lash out. But lashing out at strangers or those they feel might lash back is not scary and unsafe. So they lash out at the ones they instinctually understand won't hurt them. Which is bad enough, but where it really gets bad is when they try to justify their behavior by imagining the person so close to them actually deserves it.

It's really hard, but I have come to expect inappropriate behavior somewhere along the line as a not uncommon feature of being close to others. It comes with the territory, because even basically good people can be just not that strong or emotionally responsible, or harbor some black part inside them -- some anger or insecurity -- that sooner or later will find its way out.

The only question is whether the person is worth the drama and trauma. Many times, the answer will be no. Sometimes yes. What I try to do generally is make sure that if the relationship resumes at a good level, it is with the very clear understanding that everyone can make mistakes, but if someone even THINKS about treating me poorly again, the relationship/friendship is over. We can still be friendly and get along, but we won't get together. I'm forgiving, but not a doormat, so the forgiving part is done. We've already been there and done that, so there's nothing left to know. There will be no "cycle." I will just treat further bad behavior as someone deciding the relationship is not worth keeping and take them at their word about it, so to speak. I can respect that decision, even if it makes no sense to me and wasn't one I would have made. But I'm not going to argue about it. Be a dick again, and I'm out. I think that's about as fair a deal as anyone can expect.
Thanks for the articulating on this type of situation. Much appreciated it.
Posted February 25, 2011
fuck fuck fuck a duck....... dod called my boss........ :( jdahkdjahssadjkhsadkjhsadlkjadslkadjslsadjkn SON OF A kadsh might be going back to the sandbox
Posted February 25, 2011
I think I am going to break up with my girl of 3 years. It's gonna suck, but it's for the best.
Posted February 25, 2011
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akwater: fuck fuck fuck a duck....... dod called my boss........ :( jdahkdjahssadjkhsadkjhsadlkjadslkadjslsadjkn SON OF A kadsh might be going back to the sandbox
weren't you saying just the other day that you hated it where you are now?
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Rohan15: I think I am going to break up with my girl of 3 years. It's gonna suck, but it's for the best.
Hang on, 8 hours ago you mention bondange and now you're mentioning breaking up, are these incidents related?

Did she turn out to be more of a top than you were expecting?
Post edited February 25, 2011 by Aliasalpha
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This is my favourite topic
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General discussionThe "bitch about life in general" thread(14226 posts)(14226 posts)
(14226 posts)