One of two bags is tragically run over before I find it on my way to Dunkin' Donuts, but I save the other and put it in outdoor shade while I use a coupon. When I get home, having long-since drank a soda and eaten a free donut, I keep the pepperonis in the fridge for custom pizzas.

I cast Safeguard on the next user.

I find myself under an umbrella appearing out of nowhere. Unfortunately it also comes with a change in the weather and as people are approaching to share my shelter I find myself running through neon-reflecting streets, hoping to escape their company. Under an umbrella, three is definitely a crowd.

I summon Nyarlathoep to deliver a message to the next user.

The only thing I can understand of the message is the ridiculous frustration of being summoned by a flithy mortal for such frivolous and fruitless efforts. Once the message is complete, Nyarlathoep retracts what might be considered a fingertip from my city and prepares to smoosh instaboy's location instead.

I cast Earthcraft to replace the lost crust, and the next user is there to decide what kind of land re-grows.

I summon Shub-Niggurath to finish the work. Too late do I realize that the site provides it with an ideal nesting site.

As a way of paying it forward, I invoke Universal Remorse on the next user.

I can't believe you've done this.

I cast Final Nightmare on Shub-Niggurath and the next user is caught in the crossfire.

Except that, since I'm awake at a time I shouldn't be, the nightmare doesn't actually effect me.

I cast Enchant Item on the next user.

Now I have an enchanted hand which results in Writing +3.

I cast a "Heal Sanity" spell on the next person.

Unfortunately (for me), I happen to be wearing a Ring of Reverse, which reverses the effects of spells cast on me, causing me to go insane.

In a fit of insanity, I double cast Reverse Armageddon on the next user. (In other words, I cast that spell twice.)

Way to go. The arrow of time is no longer one-way.

I cast Enchant Item on the next user.

I happen to be wearing a Reflect Ring so, instead of affecting me, it rebounds and affects you instead. You are now TwoHandedSword + 1! (Oops?)

I double-cast Control Weather on the next user. For one cast, I make the weather warm and sunny, and for the other, I summon a freezing blizzard.

I stay inside to not get sunburned, and then stay inside because I have no choice with snow taller than me and all the trees are collapsing under the weight of ice.

I cast Wrath of the First Flame to melt all the ice and snow, in particular so I can pull the next user out from under a fallen tree.

Turns out to be an effective spell, that one, melting the polar caps and all glaciers to inundate large tracts of land and everything on it, including the tree I'm under. I'm now tending an octopus's garden and learning to cope.

I cast the spell of Potboiler, turning the next user into a paperback writer.

Before I've even approached Abrakam for a job, I've written several adventure novels set in the world of Faeria. When they reject me, I just publish all of it on Fanfiction.net instead.

I cast Message in a Bottle on the next user.

I open the bottle, and the message reads, "Every breath you take, every move you make, I'll be watching you."

I think the Police have set me up for a Sting operation.

Since I hope that they Don't Stand So Close To Me that I'm Driven To Tears, I try casting Invisible Sun to get away. But a Canary In The Coalmine disrupts my Synchronicity, and I find myself Walking On The Moon. I guess you can call that Murder By Numbers.

Maybe the next person will have better luck with Invisible Sun; after all, Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic.