This is it: the culmination of the venerable Barrelgrounds tradition that began with Bilbo Baggins, was preserved by Donkey Kong, was popularized by Dunkey, and culminated in Our capable hands. If you play this without Expanding Fronts, don't even talk to me. Don't even look at me. Don't even exist to me. In short, don't be dumb to me. If you're still playing this with the CD version bugs and no widescreen support, you will never be a Serious and Respected Gamer. This is it, this is the pinnacle. Video Games are Art, and Digital Sports were invented solely for this. You may talk of Counter-Strike and Dota, of Super Crate Box or LUFTRAUSERS as the best game of all time, but they were all of them dethroned -yes, even the famed Super Mario Bruddas 2- when the Barrelgrounds made their debut. And I, I am the Barrelmaker, the one who made the Barrelgrounds literal, and then put barrels upon those barrels. Therefore ignore that foolish statistic up above, in actuality I have MILLIONS of hours on this title going back MILLENNIA. You followin' me? This game's so good, I've been playin' it before it even EXISTED. This game has the exclusive and unmatched distinction of being wanted by me before I even knew it was possible. The only thing that could ever dethrone this would be if it was this exact thing (Expanding Fronts included, dum-dum) but Warhammer 40,000. (No, Dawn of War does not count.) Well, 'tis to dream the impossible dream -and if you say it's not the best game evah made, then you da worst guy evah made. A new power is rising! Its victory is at hand! Rise up, gamers! Henceforth you shall be known as Barrelriders! Tonight, we roll in the Barrelgrounds like a Bantha! Ponds for da fishies! Barrels for the Barrelgrounds! Let the galaxy ROLL!
