

I wake one night to find a thief fleeing my camp after tripping the noise alarm. I leap to my feet and grab my only weapon (a fire hardened spear made from a tree branch) and give chase into the night. Despite the raging storm i soon catch up and promptly stab him to death breaking my spear in the process. I roll his prone corpse over only to discover that the sole item he'd stolen was a small lengh of string... Feeling slightly embarassed I turn to leave only to be attacked by a feral dog. After punching it for what felt the hours i suddenly had a eureka moment! "Im not unarmed" I thought "I have a perfectly good saucepan" With that i commenced to serve up the mother of all post apocalyptic a** whoopings. My victory would be short lived however as the following day i s**t myself to death from dysentry due to drinking puddle water...