I'm starting to learn how to work around the AI instead of fighting with it, thanks for the advice.
I also had this problem. My personal solution was to uninstall the whole game.
He he. It sure can be frustrating but I haven't quite reached that point yet.
Moo3 with proper (fanmade) patches addressing bugs (not even mods) is an amazing game, its just not Moo2,5 that everybody wanted, kind of like what HoMaM4 is to HoMaM3 but more extreme.
More OT, as Garran mentions, regional zoning setting is the only direct way to tell AI what DEA to build.
After you get some tech, "(empire) development plans" are very nice tool to get what you need on most of the planets. (AI prioritizes improvements over building DEAs to fulfill its needs, so the deeper in the tech tree you are the less AI will interfere (unless you have some big shortages/ unrest problems). After some time it will take longer for it to fill region slots, allowing for more control.
It's best to micromanage only the most important worlds for example to get maximum production capacity on one planet to build big stuff fast. With proper techs, dev plans and a little pre-planning DEAs (only several, not whole planet at once) AI rarely did get in the way of micromanaging specialized worlds.