I bought this game thinking it was a turn based strategy game with some special events, like many other games out there.

Well, to put it simple, it isn't, it's a game where you need to enjoy games designed to make you lose while you can't do anything about it.

The main game mechanics it's based on text conversations, where the answers are usually like this:

You find a monster!

a) Beat him in the eye -> you lose the game
b) Beat him in the leg -> you lose the game and you get made fun of
c) Beat him in the head-> all the villages declare war on you and you lose the game
d) Beat him in the fingers -> the monster dies but your character dies too, your village gets raided and you lose the game in the next turn

You can't know in advance which is the least negative answer, all of them are

I don't mean this is a bad game, a lot of people love to get random, unfair, slowly and inevitably losing gameplay. The harder and more unfair the better, in videogames and in life in general. BUT not all people like this, and if you don't like it this is a really bad game. So the "BEST GAME EVER" predominant opinions are very misleading, this game is not for all kind of public, just the masochist ones

My losing has never been inevitable.

Sounds like the game wasn't what you were expecting. That' not too surprising, considering there aren't many games like this one. It's really, really good though. I'll stand by that.

Yes, I have this game since 1999, and I saw a game over screen only 3 times. 2 of those occasions could have been easily avoided, as I was warned several times ingame that my policy (picking consistently on powerful neighbors) was dangerous, but I wanted to see what would happen, and paid the price.

"Losing" at the game is not that easy. Not to say that the game is not hard, mind you. You will suffer military defeats, your village will be plundered, your favorite noblemen will die ignominiously, your explorers will disappear, some actions that looked easy will fail, and the game events will kick you repeatedly when you are down.
You fail, sometimes unfairly, and you suffer the consequences.
But you very often can recover. Failure does not mean game over, like in most games. You pick up what's left of the clan, bury the dead, recruit new warriors, and you can still lead the living to victory.

That's what I like in this game : Failure is part of the game, but it's not "game over".

If you don't like to fail in a game due to reasons you can't control, you will hate the game. But for those who like to deal with consequences, roll with the punches and create an epic story rich with losses and triumphs, the game is really good. No need to be a masochist. :)

There are tips online at various places. Start with a-sharp's website, the developer has posted a list of tlps for this game.