Don't forget the cartoon rabbit

A cartoon rabbit that steps in the poopy.

I had to be convinced to watch the prequel movies and I still have trouble sitting through them now that I'm older. The weirdest thing about Star Wars is that the entire series exists in a paradoxical freeze in technology, communication and interstellar travel. If you've played Knights of the Old Republic from 10 years back then you'll have a good idea of what I mean. Essentially all the technology that exists is all the technology that ever will exist, and somehow even better in a few instances compared to the movies, some ten thousand years in the future. HK-47 and his similar robotic assassins are the strongest god damn robots in the galaxy, and the best they can come up with in the future are robots that turn into giant wheels. Not to mention, the maintenance droids are also the exact same, except that R2-D2 never had a laser gun or high voltage stun gun or a flame thrower. Weirder still, Force users actually get weaker the further you go into the series. Bastilla from game 1 was able to protect and empower an entire fleet of star cruisers through meditation, while one of the villains of game 2 destroyed an entire planet with just the force. Darth Vader can choke people, Luke could lift with his mind, Count Doku could shoot lightning, Samuel Jackson was lightning proof and tired of these motherf*cking lightning bolts in this motherf*cking sky tower, Qui Gon and Obi Wan could leap and pull with the force... while everyone in the games does all of that and more, including god damn healing, shielding, fear inducing, and outright multi-gonna-choke-a-bitch without holding their hands up the whole time for it. How nice would that be Qui Gon if you spent a little more time off your ass to learn some of that? You at least lived long enough to see Darth Maul (Who's only ability was not stabbing himself with a two bladed lightsaber) die, if either of you could heal yourselves then you would still be around for the other movies.

Let me make one quick thing clear: The original movies, they weren't outright masterpieces, but they were good for what they were. But they started making prequels and games in the far past and now there's no damn sense why the entire galaxy has gone comparatively primitive at worst and stagnant at best.

I saw 1 before the originals
then 2 arrived and sucked and 3 was good but watching the originals is probably why I disliked 2 and somewhat 1

I actually walked out of the theatre during The Phantom Menace. No child should be made to watch it.

Didn't someone post something about watching a bootleg version of Episode III dubbed? I lost that link long ago.... :(

What are these prequels you're talking about? There are only three Star Wars movies.

Oh, kind of like Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull?

Also, FOUND IT! :D
Epic read!

Ah yes, "The Backstroke of the West". That is truly epic :-D

Updated one is better :D

I know, I've read it. I also have the subtitles in an .srt file.

IIRC, Palpatine was reputed to have done something similar in the Thrawn trilogy. This would have been about 10 years before KotOR was released. I believe they hand waved the whole rebel victory at Endor* by suggesting that the imperial fleet was shocked and greatly confused when Palpatine unexpectedly perished. That the sudden removal of his influence left them extremely vulnerable and allowed a much smaller force to route them.


*Even with the loss of the 2nd death star, a sizable chunk of the imperial fleet was still there for the ambush. Probably enough to do the job if the Death Star wasn't ready in time.

Oh boy...

After originally seeing the series in this order: IV, V, VI, I, II, III... I later came back to watch one of the movies and ended up seeing two more as well. Guess which.
Episodes I, II, III.
If there's one character I can truly relate to, it's Obi-Wan. Watching his story unfold is always a pleasure to me.

Yeah, I've always felt that the first three movies were more about Obi-Wan as a character than about Anakin, who I find completely bland and played by possibly two of the worst actors out there. Brilliantly played by Ewan McGregor.

The prequel trilogy is the story of Obi-Wan, first and foremost. The original trilogy is the story of Luke, first and foremost. Anakin is mostly there just to tie the two stories together. He's not a particularly interesting character, even in his Darth Vader outfit. He's badass, for sure, but he wasn't super interesting even in the 80s. But he had the cool factor going for him, and his mysterious background helped with that.

If you watch them "in order," though, you can't help but remember that inside all that machinery is an incredibly whiny teenager with mommy issues. So not only will you have to suffer though eight hours of wooden acting, it can ruin the dark terror that Vader is supposed to instill in the classics.