Share your tales of clueless tech support.

My story relates to my ISP. I heard the tech support was bad, and that many of them just read from scripts, so I was glad I rarely had to call them.

I've had speed problems for a while, but those have now been resolved. My download speeds are even better than before. However, I'm now getting pings of 30-70 on TF2 servers on which I was previously getting 5-15. The tech support person wanted me to do a traceroute on some of the servers. Fair enough.

Except this computer doesn't have traceroute. I can only guess it's because it's a stripped-down version of Windows; though I can't fathom why they'd remove it. Anyway, when typing "tracert" in the command prompt, I get the following error:

"'tracert' is not recognized as an internal or external command,
operable program or batch file."

Pretty clear, right? I explained this to the tech support person, even mentioning I was using the right spelling, but she insisted I send over a screenshot of the command prompt. That was yesterday.

Today, she got back to me, and explained that I needed to add the IP or domain name I was trying to traceroute; then it would work. Of course it didn't work. The error in question meant that Windows couldn't find the program. I explained this before trying it. I explained it as I was doing it, and I explained it multiple times after it failed, becoming more and more exasperated each time, but she wouldn't listen.

Eeeevvveeeeentually she conceded that I did not in fact have traceroute on my computer. Thankfully I had access to a laptop today which does. What's the bet she'll have some issue with the fact that I didn't screenshot the results but instead output them to a text file? (I was in a hurry and the laptop doesn't have proper image software.)

TPG?

How'd you guess? :P

Haha they've not got the best rep for customer service, kind of the opposite in fact. Service is why I've stuck with netspace, despite the connection being a little too expensive and having slightly crappy limits, they have technically knowledgeable staff (at least the ones I've encountered) and their staff are actually in this country...

My dumb support tale: Pretty much every single support ticket I've ever submitted to Steam support. I think we can all agree that specifics are not needed =)

The simple fact is that IT service desk first level positions are staffed by low skilled, poorly motivated people who have enormous turnover because of low pay and the fact it sucks to get yelled at all day by angry people who when asked to look at something on the desktop start asking what their table has to do with it. Add in often ridiculous call scripts (that must be followed or else, every call is recorded and god help you if you miss something completely non applicable to the situation at hand), rules and timetables (you heard me) about everything including how long you have to take a leak, and you can get a picture of why the guy on the other end of the phone isn't a certified pc tech (they can actually earn money elsewhere without being treated like kindergarteners. Non-toilet trained ones at that).

Occasionally you'll be lucky enough to land a smart cookie who can actually use his brain and a bit of initiative (without getting fired) who wound up in the position by accident, but they usually don't hang around the phones too long.

Seriously, the most painless way to deal with tech support first level is to do what they ask (every inane detail, even if it IS pointless, which it will be half the time) because then they can get through the script quicker and pass the problem on to someone who can actually fix it.