I think you should first prove that the term he used has the same definition to him as it does to you.

n_gger (as the title reads and he responded to) could mean "black people" to you and "black people who commit crime" to him.

Just like "hacker" means something different to me than it does to some other people.

Well I suppose it's possible, but you think he would have clarified that by now if it were the case...